blondes – Contemplating the divine

She is your everything

… which is just as well, as you’re her nothing.

Oddly enough, I was actually engaged in SPH play years before I even knew what it was – in the school changing room, for instance. I guess I’m just a natural.

Don’t worry, she generally just takes little light puffs, she doesn’t pull on it to drag it down quickly. Unless she’s had a hard day or something like that, obviously.

In a very real sense, marriage to her is a stress position, so it’s all good practice.

I find being on a leash quite reassuring. My SO got one of those extendable ones – you know, that have a kind of wheel that can pay out to allow the pet to run off some way – and I have to say, I felt almost agoraphobic with it on. Unfortunately, it broke one day when I was fetching it, and after a good hard discussion of why ‘it broke’ I was dragged out of the door on the good old chain.

Bunnies are actually savage little creatures. True fact (read Watership Down). Perhaps that’s what inspires these lovely ladies.

Hmm… looks like Jake was a bit surprised by that! He really shouldn’t have been – anyone could have guessed that Bluetooth connectivity was likely to come up. Now he’s going to get all embarrassed by having his ignorance shown up right there on stage.

Today’s post celebrates the approaching quadricentennial of a great British educational institution: St Mackenzies. Founded in 1625, to provide, in the words of the school charter: “opportunyties for daughtters of gentelfolk to fuckke and cavort in uniformes both sexie and impracticalle”, the school has always prided itself on its insistence on slutty demeanour at all times, its non-stop attention to lesbian sexual hi-jinks and its almost total indifference to any kind of academic success. Despite this determination to prioritise hot girl-on-girl action over scholastic excellence, the school has, over the centuries, exerted a distinctly perverted influence on British politics, culture and life, famous old girls including mistresses of various notable historical figures (including three concurrent mistresses of the same archbishop of Canterbury) as well as distinguished brothel keepers, Page 3 girls and – in one case the school prefers to downplay – a recipient of the Nobel Prize for Physics.

The school’s proud motto: Exue vestimenta tua et habeamus coitum (loosely: ‘get your kit off and let’s fuck’) has inspired its former pupils to create many cultural works celebrating the school’s values, from the seminal sixteenth century Bokke of the two douzone virgines, with manyye instruktive illustrashiones, through the sadly now near-unknown 32-volume Lady Birchingham’s Daughters saga written by the prolific ‘Anonymous’ in the mid nineteenth century, through to the much beloved 1950s school stories featuring ‘Daisy’ (of which Daisy and the Mystery of the Changing Room is perhaps best known). More recently, of course, the school is best known from its photosets and videos in which staff and pupils alike demonstrate the sapphic skills for which the school is justly famed.

Despite the frequent presence of canes, rulers and other implements of chastisement in its classrooms, the school’s reputation for obsession with CP is (regrettably, in the opinion of this blog) ill-deserved, as although many pupils have found themselves stripping to bend over to be disciplined, they usually experience no more than a few taps before the schoolmistress tasked with administering the punishment finds the near naked young lady before her too irrestistible to delay fucking any longer. Indeed, a frantic lesbian sex session is the school’s preferred approach to any disciplinary problem, particularly bullying (which has reared its ugly head on too many occasions, before having that head shoved firmly down between the thighs of a pretty schoolgirl). Just occasionally, girls who have behaved particularly badly are kept behind in detention, sitting bored behind desks in front of an equally-bored supervising teacher, a situation that turns out pretty much as you might expect in a school full of attention-deficient lesbian nymphomanics.

Still taking students of all ages from 18 to 30 or so and proudly bearing its Ofsted ‘Utterly Preposterous’ rating (but having scored a ‘Highly commendable – if a little pervy’ for the school’s approach to LGBT issues), St Mackenzies now totters gingerly on its high heels into its fifth century. Times may change, but there are values that are eternal and for as long as people enjoy watching female teachers and pretty schoolgirls in tight-fitting uniforms shriek, giggle and – inevitably, rapturously, exhaustingly – fuck each other senseless, there will always be a St Macs. For which we can all be grateful.

https://stmackenzies.com/

Corrigible

Maybe she needs to make them even more memorable.

I won’t give away the plot but when they turn the male over, there are footprints all over his back. Nothing unusual about that, obviously, but these footprints turn out to have been made by three different people, plus another male. Quite the mystery…

*Won*‘t she feel a fool when she finally takes that hood off him and sees that she’s got the wrong man! But that won’t be for a very long time yet, almost at the end of what she has planned for ‘Richard’. She’ll be ever so embarassed, the poor thing.

Oddly, I’ve tried ‘it’s not my fault I’m a man’ on my SO and it cuts no ice – as she likes to say, is there anyone else in our relationship to blame for that? And I’m compelled to admit she’s right.

She’s got it

And she’s quite prepared to use it, so stop arguing and bend over.

There’s obviously no inherent contradiction in describing something as both ‘a traditional costume’ and ‘a spanking dress’. Just ask the ladies or – when they’ve finished standing in the corner – the men of the Czech Republic.

It’s shocking the state some of these railway station toilets get into. Thank goodness there are public-spirited people like her prepared to step up and do something about it.

At least she mentioned it, first. It’s actually quite offensive, the way so many women consider castrated males’ bodies almost to be public property – just reaching out for a little pat without asking permission.

Ironically enough, those discussions tend to be anything but ‘instant’, often going on for hours.

See, that’s a Mars/Venus thing right there. The male naturally focuses on the physical cause of his pain but the woman looks beyond these trivial mechanical explanations for the underlying *psychological* reason. Like during a beating: it’s not the whip she’s cracking across your back that’s hurting you, it’s your own behaviour.

I have follow-up questions… Let’s hope she doesn’t consider them impertinent – oh, who am I kidding? Let’s hope she does.

Who would’ve cared at all

Not her.

She did say she wouldn’t do anything to embarass you – and she won’t. No need, when you’re embarassing yourself so effectively.

Seems very businesslike. But then it’s best not to personalise what is, after all, a purely impersonal business arrangement as far as she’s concerned.

If we’re honest, it doesn’t make a huge amount of difference whether he tries to be brave or not. But it’s nice of her to ask.

Lovely Mistress Mina. And lovely someone else, too.

It’s good she’s got you to help take her anger away.

Some subs find hypothetical questions like this difficult but they’re actually not as difficult as the non-hypothetical ones that have immediate practical relevance, I find.

She’s very concerned about his health, she’s even been reading up online about medical conditions that affect the elderly.

Foolish things

As often as she likes, obviously. Which is quite often.

Perhaps her mistress will come to see the advantages in having a male around. Maybe get one herself; I understand they’re very cheap to keep, they needn’t be irritating if they are permanently gagged and after all, she’s got a sub to make sure the nasty thing washes itself frequently.

It’s silly to complain about the taste: I mean, it’s not *her* fault the company that produces the shaving foam makes it so unpleasant, is it? Write them a letter if you’re so upset about it: I’m sure she’d buy you a stamp.

How could anyone be frightened of a sweet, harmless little creature like her?

It was a blonde joke, wasn’t it? ‘How many blonde nurses does it take to change an obnoxious man’s sexist attitudes’… was that it?

Seems a bit easier than the game of “Guess what implement’s next” that my SO likes to play with me strapped down over the whipping bench. I’m rubbish at it: I don’t think I’ve been right once in what must be over 20 tries, even though she gives me a choice between only two each time. No matter what I say, it’s always the other one. That’s odds of 2^20 against… over a million to one! Pretty unlucky… but as she likes to say, meeting her was such a lucky thing for me, I don’t deserve any more luck ever again, and of course I can’t argue with logic like that.

Angel with the scourge

Two scourging angels, ready to inspire and if need be correct, profoundly religious thoughts.

Of course, it doesn’t need to be reserved solely for cuckold play. Plenty of uses for a pillory and it’s not like she has someone in her bed *every* night of the week,

Question asked, question answered. Time to move on.

Opinion among mistresses is divided as to whether it’s a good idea for sissies to have thinking time. Why spend so much time doing something they’re not good at?

Her brutality is rarely, if ever, unreasonable.

More and more women are discovering the fun that can be had with a golf club, especially in the company of a supportive man.

The shape of things to come

Another science fiction-themed post! Sadly not featuring those whip wielding Amazons from Space 1999 this time but I’ll try to remedy that in future.

It’s very important to maintain carefully controlled conditions, in science. I expect that’s just what she intends to do.

Maybe when The Change happens, whatever that is (and how do they pronounce those capital letters anyway?) everything will become much clearer.

They had to replace the ‘Cruelty free’ label with ‘Cruelly tested on male animal experimenters and cosmetics industry executives’ but it didn’t do the sales any harm at all.

Her culinary ideas might be a bit odd but she’s really good at sex. Just ask the vacuum cleaner.

And you don’t even need to wear a condom: absorbing your bodily fluids is actually her goal. So what’s not to like? Apart from imminent death, obviously, but if you’d run away you could have been hit by a bus or something that same day, you know?

Oh dear. I hope she finds some sort of use for it.

And what’s more, you’ll be a woman, my daughter

War. They say war changes nothing. But sometimes if nothing changes, war is the only way. These girls didn’t seek the war they fought in but it found them. Then they fought and some of them died. Then they won and some of them came back. Did they come back as heroines? They came back. Plenty didn’t. Those who made it said the war changed them – for good, for bad, who knows? It changed a lot of guys too, mostly for the better. Sure: war changes nothing. But war changes everything, too.

Etc. That stuff’s surprisingly easy to write.

World War M, anyway. When the war between the sexes went hot.