anal – Contemplating the divine

It doesn’t cost anything to be cruel

In fact, some ladies even find it quite lucrative. So why be nice?

Yes, thanks, her foot’s actually fine – oh, didn’t you ask?

Mr Mason’s lucky – many men into CP don’t get a chance to act out their fantasies for real.

My SO is sometimes passive-aggressive like this. When she’s not being aggressive-aggressive, that is.

He’ll be wanting long trousers next! Absurd.

Her command of the English language isn’t perfect but she’s somehow picked up the words ‘reaming’ and ‘pegging’ on the way, showing impressive commitment.

Well-behaved women seldom make history

More glimpses of bygone worlds: male inferiority is really nothing new. Should have been last week, but rocket went up.

Justice must be seen to be done – and preferably enjoyed.

She’s an idealist, always hoping for perfection.

Actually, it’s all worked out quite well, as she finds she gets more enjoyment from producing her own eunuchs than merely buying them in.

Just as well: he’s a very poor dancer but his swallowing skills are renowned across the county.

The winner of the tournament will receive his lady’s favour. As will all the other participants, to be honest, as she finds they tire easily.

She is firmly opposed to almost all forms of cruelty and her husband will simply have to reconcile himself to that.

Muliebrious bodily harm

Good word, isn’t it? You can look it up if you don’t know what it means. Or live your life in wilful ignorance – see if I care.

Don’t worry if you end up eating some dirt too, it won’t do you any harm. Refusing to obey her wishes, on the other hand, could be distinctly hazardous.

Can’t be too careful. My SO loves to conduct cavity searches and if she runs out of holes in my body to delve into, she just makes more.

I understand they did make a more scientifically accurate version of the movie, in which at least half the running time was taken up with Bond’s genitals getting slowly charred. I’d pay to see that but apparently it didn’t play well with all demographics.

Sometimes Responsible Females get cross if they arrive after the five day period to find their property already disposed of – but they’re always offered a replacement and they’re usually fine with that.

To be fair, she probably would have snipped them off in due course, but not just yet – probably not for a few days.

A poetry special! Well, I can’t let PP have all the glory. Plus, I expect some of you are masochists, so you should enjoy these. I’ve been told my poetry is great upon the ears… or something that sounded very like that, anyway.

Two wonderful dommes with whom Servitor has had the painful pleasure…

Careless talk

Costs… quite a lot. If you want her to pretend to care, that’ll be extra, too.

Well, that’s rather a dismissive attitude! What a haughty young miss! You know, I think you should say something , you really should. My suggestion would be “Yes Ma’am” but, y’know: you do you.

The nurses have discovered that really vigorous, two-fisted rectal examinations that leave the patient gasping and howling for mercy, can actually have useful therapeutic effects – senior staff nurse Perkins swears she always feels utterly relaxed after a really good one, especially if enjoyed with friends.

My SO always says the first hour’s just for warming up – unless it’s under the cold shower or in the ice bath, obviously.

I think they’re beginning to realise just what it is they can do to a man. Let’s hope that causes them to rethink their attitudes.

Face facts: it’s the only costume you’ve got that isn’t pink.

Well, if as a result they help him see the error of his ways, I suppose it might have been worth it. That and all the money they’re blackmailing him for, I mean.

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive

And the sexiest, too. The quote of course is from dear old Jack, rumoured to have had an interest in all things spanking, but alas only on the dark side. Perhaps he just never met the right woman. Like most Englishmen of a certain age I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and The Magician’s Nephew when I was young and impressionable (I’m now old and impressionable) and believe me, Jadis the White Witch would not have had to proffer much turkish delight to entice me into slavery.

I mean, goodness me…

He went to say that to experience the tyranny he is describing “is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.” Well, indeed. It could almost come from an advert for the English Mansion.

Anyway, I digress. Rather a lot. On with today’s nonsense, which is not particularly CS Lewis-themed except for the usual tag about Mistress Anya – obviously.

Some people recommend dangling from your ankles to help sort out a bad back and I’m sure Princess Neive and Miss Analisa here would be happy to help out with that – and even give him something to think about while he’s dangling there, to help pass the time.

If it’s too difficult to decide, don’t worry: I’m sure she’d be happy to leave the upper bound undefined.

If you don’t like it, just tell her you’re not satisified with the service – go ahead, she’ll make sure your complaint is treated properly.

I hope she does it properly, potting them in the right order.

If ‘small testicle humiliation’ is a thing he’s going to be really good at it.

She believes in trying new things and it’s not as if her supply of boys is going to run out any time soon, so why not?

You are the product

Except that today you’re not (unless your Mistress is putting you up for auction, obviously). Instead, it’s another collection of advertising-themed images.

Contemplating the Divine takes no responsibility for any painful, humiliating or soul-destroying consequences arising from attempting to use the products advertised here. Although any funny and embarassing stories are welcome, obviously.

No resemblance to advertising campaigns for actual products, especially soft drinks made by huge multinationals with well-staffed legal departments, is intended. C’mon, guys, can’t you take a joke? No? Oh well…

… and a bonus image. A different theme to the ones above, but I don’t have six like this, so might as well put it up here:

Love conquers all

So it’s best to offer unconditional surrender.

He needn’t worry that his session tribute will, increase, though: instead she has a completely different financial model she intends to apply.

My SO told me on our wedding night that our intercourse had lasted almost exactly 45 seconds too long for her to enjoy it – which I thought odd, as it had only lasted 45 seconds in total. Just the first of many misunderstandings, but we’ve come to understand one another very well now.

They won’t be fresh of course… in fact, by then they’ll probably be rank and fetid. Yum. I hope she’ll warm them up, though. Nothing worse than cold sweaty socks.

I’m sure if she could bend the rules on this occasion, she would. But she doesn’t make the… oh, hang on.

And afterwards it’s easy enough to keep you tight by just moving up one strap-on size each time. It’s surprising – and a bit uncomfortable – how big they go. But Anya has strong pelvic muscles, as she says, so that’s OK.

Far and wide of the mark

Regular ‘readers’ of this blog who actually bother to look at the words, instead of just beating off to the pictures of pretty ladies looking stern, will realise that much of its ‘humour’ is inspired by the style of Gary Larson’s cartoon The Far Side.

Where ‘inspired’ in this context means “a pathetic and embarassing attempt to publish femdom porn in a manner that is spuriously justified”

This week’s ‘special’ (no, not your monthly ‘special’, you have to ask Mistress for that) is a collection of captions that are particularly ~~blatant rip-offs of~~ close homages to that style. Without, obviously, either (a) infringing anyone’s intellectual property rights or (b) being funny.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I get paid just as much either way.