I got an email about dealing with erectile disfunction. I know they’re probably just spam, but I like to think the best of people, and I was willing to give it a go. At least it made a change from all those emails I get suggesting various ways of enhancing my penis size (sometimes I wish I’d never given my mother my email address, I really do).
Anyway, it said that lots of men experience periods of erectile disfunction, but if I wrote off describing the circumstances in which I…. err.. failed to rise to the occasion, as it were, world-famous doctors were waiting to advise me.
Well, as you can imagine, I was quite excited, and I wrote back at great length describing how I usually experience quite long periods of erectile disfunction shortly after annoying my Significant Other, for example by failing to iron her blouse properly, or over-cooking the pasta. But that I also find it difficult to achieve an erection when she’s just in a bad mood because she’s busy at work, or its her time of the month, or something like that. The email asked me to describe in detail the longest period of disfunction I’d had, so I sent them Time magazine’s review of the year for 2013.
And they never replied! I mean, can you believe it? I sent email after email, and eventually I just received an automatic response informing me that the server in Nigeria where they were based was blocking my address.
Isn’t the Internet a weird place, eh? Oh well. Here are some more pictures of pretty ladies looking threatening, so we can get sexually aroused by the thought of being punished and humiliated by them. Good wholesome stuff.
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| Beware of dominatrices with ‘strong views’ |
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| Domestic bliss. |
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| You think? |
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| It’s ironic, really, as Alanis Morisette might say. |
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| Dear me, she seems a little fierce. Most young brides wait until after the wedding before giving their husbands their first proper birching. Still, maybe she’ll become more tolerant and forgiving of her husband’s faults when you’re married. Some brides do. Many don’t. |
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Well thank you, too. Compliments from spam-bots always make my day. As regular readers will know, providing 'informative information' is this blog's mission, so do please have a go at any or all of the activities we discuss here and come back to let us know how you got on. CtD is not responsible for any personal injury – physical, psychological or moral – that may result from undertaking any such activities, of course.
My own erectile disfunction is unlikely to be overcome by a mere pill… you don't know any skilled and discreet locksmiths, by any chance, do you?
Best wishes (but not really)
S