Facts are stubborn things

… a bit like donkeys, then, and males. Today we have OWKFacts! Ages since we had any OWKFacts… this blog will be in danger of losing its reputation as the femdom blog of record and its obsession with accuracy and verisimilitude (oh, thank the Goddess for spell-checkers) if I don’t put some more facts out there.

Women’s scorn

You’re actually better off out there, away from the hot rocks and the tongs. Take my word for it – how anyone could claim saunas are relaxing is beyond me.
I suppose some might say she should use her powers for good. But there’s a lot of giantess / stomp fetishists out there and many of the videos are woefully unconvincing, so she is bringing delight to their sad lives – and earning a good living doing it, so really where’s the harm?
That describes me to a t. It might be the ‘Exploit me’ tattoo on my forehead, I suppose.
Obviously he knows the game… I mean, it’s not as if he could exactly be jealous of you, right? But he knows what she likes too and although he doesn’t share her sadistic impulses, he’ll do it for her and even pretend for her to be angry enough to want to break your bones and beat you unconscious. Rather sweet, that he’s so attentive to her needs – alphas aren’t always heartless brutes, you know.
Irina looks at least mildly amused. I suppose. Anyway, I’m sure it was worth it.
You could try running… Actually, not a bad idea as the Outdoor Freestyle is the event they most need to work on.

Bonny brutality

I don’t pee standing up, either. My SO insists that I do it lying in my bathtub, with my legs up as far over my head as they’ll go. It’s quite uncomfortable – and messy – but she says it’s funnier that way.
The trick is to have a weekly joint budget – and for the male to have sufficient incentive to make sure it isn’t exceeded, no matter what she spends.
You can get an app to track your pillory time each week, I understand, which can be useful for writing letters of thanks.
‘D-I-V-O-R-C-E – find out what you’re worth to her, on the open market.’
Oh good. I hope one of them’s a nice cup of hot chocolate.
It’s not mind-reading. Men can’t really hide it when they’re aroused. I don’t just mean erections – even we submissives who aren’t allowed them exhibit subtler signs, like whining and pleading.

And she’s got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need

More Downton Domination: captioned images of high society and lowered trousers, in the 1930s and a little bit beyond.

The title of course is a quote from one of those frightfully amusing tales by dear old Plum.

When the belle strikes

She’s perfect, so is it so unreasonable for her to expect perfection around her?
She’s quite unsentimental about these things. Just as well, because her boys don’t usually last long.
The self-defense training can actually be worked into the pole-dancing routine, but they’d need several new submissives every night, so they only do that on special occasions.
Strangely, once the penitance she has in mind is complete, you’ll actually still be in a state of mortal sin – more so, if anything. So you’d better go straight to confession and it can all start again.
Conversations about money in relationships can be very uncomfortable. Many couples find it easier never to discuss money – my SO certainly never allows the topic to come up.

Fascinatrices

Trust is important in marriage, but not as important as discipline. She’d like to trust you, but like any caring wife she just wants to make quite sure.
She doesn’t know much about horses. You know, she didn’t even realise you don’t have to peel carrots before you give them to a horse? So someone spent over an hour peeling carrots… and then there were all the scrapings to be eaten up off the ground. All in all, it’s fair to say this is not what he expected when he paid a domme to come out to his place in the country… which is probably why he tipped her double and emailed her the very next day requesting another session.
Just after this picture was taken, he made the mistake of replying that in that case he would be happy to help out by doing half of the spanking. This did not go down well, but after a very long discussion their marriage emerged stronger than ever.
Fair enough to pay extra for an orgasm but I’ve heard there are some fake dommes who charge extra for simple things that really ought to be included in the up-front tribute, like being untied, having the beating stop or just the plastic bag removed from over your head. It’s a rather shady practice, in my view.
The most important thing for her to realise is that she’s in control.
I find it hard to look at her without suffering an Anya-ism. Well, “suffering” isn’t really the right word.

You are the product

Except that today you’re not (unless your Mistress is putting you up for auction, obviously). Instead, it’s another collection of advertising-themed images.

Contemplating the Divine takes no responsibility for any painful, humiliating or soul-destroying consequences arising from attempting to use the products advertised here. Although any funny and embarassing stories are welcome, obviously.

No resemblance to advertising campaigns for actual products, especially soft drinks made by huge multinationals with well-staffed legal departments, is intended. C’mon, guys, can’t you take a joke? No? Oh well…

… and a bonus image. A different theme to the ones above, but I don’t have six like this, so might as well put it up here:

The best thing about being a woman is the prerogative to have a little fun

Let’s go, girls.

She’s been working recently on trying get tears just right… the way they catch the light and sparkle as they drip down a screaming sitter’s cheeks can be so hard to capture, but she’s determined to nail it.
The process of booking her does involve almost as much subterfuge, of calling anonymous phone numbers when you reach a certain location, as a first visit to a domme, though.
Remarkably, the premium Net Nanny service continues to work even if you’re never allowed to access the Internet again. Think of it as a once-in-a-lifetime lifestyle choice.
They offer a deep cleaning service too.
Oh, it won’t take as long as that.
A teachable moment with Annie is a thing to be treasured.

Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling

It’s a very rewarding relationship. But there can also be penalties.
She hasn’t completely forgiven him you understand. The topic will come up again… but that’s enough for one day.
A bit thoughtless of Suzie, I’d say, leaving her gimp chained up for her friends to look after. She could have got one of those autofeeder things and saved them a lot of trouble. Or just a really big bucket for the food mixture.
Then you can get on with making dinner. They’re going to be hungry, I expect.
Ma’am!
I never know anything. Wouldn’t particularly want to, if I were there… I could just be.

…and an extra one, which I wrote in a particularly worshipful mood.

… although actually that’s not true (like many things on this blog), because obviously in session you can get away with calling her ‘Mistress’. Which was just as well for me, as I’d always assumed it was some variant of ‘El-ee-ssa’. I was granted the extraordinary privilege of visiting Mistress Eleise three or four times about ten years ago and I never did realise I was saying her name wrong in my head until I heard her say it in a video, quite recently. Fortunately, I never committed the unforgiveable sin of mispronouncing her name out loud, to her very feet (oh, those feet…). Not that it got me out of the slappings (and the mocking… oh, that mocking!) I so thoroughly deserved.

I know I’ve got to get out and cry

Yes, the easily recognised lyrics from what is perhaps the most 1980s big-hair video ever signals not a post about 1980s magazines, but rather an increasingly desperate attempt to find titles vaguely related to ‘turning’ because this, ladies and scum, is a ‘turning point’ post.

Again.

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