Contemplating the divine – Page 165 – Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.

Advice to a novice sub

As a well-respected member of the BDSM community, I am often asked questions by novices to the scene. These are usually along the lines of “Why are your captions so fuckin’ lame, loser?”, but just occasionally someone requests my advice. And of course, I am always happy to oblige.

Naturally, all my experiences in the scene have involved paying pro-dommes – it’s not as if anyone’s going to spend much time in my sweaty presence unless they’re well compensated for it! But within this very limited sphere I have, I think, acquired some expertise – I might almost go so far as to say wisdom. And I am very happy now to share some of these insights with you, my loyal readership.

So, without further wittering: some advice to a novice sub. In the form of captions. Obviously.

The ladies featuring so beautifully, and misleadingly, in this post were (from the top):

Divine Mistress Heather
A lovely lady from Schoolmistress Fantasy
Lady Sophia Black
Mistress Eleise de Lacey
Mistress Darla (now retired I understand, but here from The English Mansion)
Miss Jessica Wood (who – you can be quite sure – most definitely wood not!).

You’ll always find me in the corner at parties

Yeah. I was always one of those guys in the corner at parties. You know? Just standing there, all embarassed, not knowing what to say as the laughter and flirting went on all around me?

My nose pressed tightly against the angle of the walls, and my trousers down around my ankles exposing my red, spanked buttocks for all to see.

I guess we’ve all been there, huh?

It’s good to have a job doing something you love. In my job, for example, I’m bossed around, humiliated and made miserable almost every day. Mmmm.

Ooops! Don’t forget about consent, girls! When you’re finishing, ask him if he agrees he deserved it. It’s important.

Well, if you put it like that…

Office life… it can be so stressful, can’t it?

Sadly, though, the inside looks pretty grotty, too. Unless you like gloomy dungeons walled with unfinished concrete and festooned with rusting chains.
Oh do you? Oh, right. You’re in for a treat, then.

Sub-shaming

It’s a strangely self-defeating exercise, because we love it.

That’s kind of her. Not exactly a sympathy fuck… more of a pitiful wank. But the principle’s the same.

Kinda scary. Yeah.

I hold that truth to be self-evident.

OK, now that would be humiliating. And not in a good way. Well…maybe a little bit good…mmmm.

It’s uncanny. It’s almost as if she knows me. Do you think I should go and hang around her house in Beverly Hills… see if fate somehow brings us together?

She only does it to be cruel

…because she knows it teases.

Nice to know she still respects you for what you are.

Oh…not the garden centre. I hate garden centres.

Great. You can show off that little dance routine you were practicing with Mike and Gerald before the invasion. Shame about what happened to them… still, never mind.

It does seem a little unfair, on those of us that would like to be in that position.

This is, of course, the glorious Goddess Heather. She shouted at me once, you know. At Club Pedestal. I might have mentioned this before. And I didn’t even have to pay her. Aaaaah.

Sometimes you just have to take time for yourself. Don’t let anything rush you.

The ecstasy and the agony

But by ‘ecstasy’ I mean extremes of pleasure, OK? This blog does not do drugs. Nothing here but good wholesome stuff like torture, castration, toilet slavery and forced bisexual blowjobs.

And not all at the same time, obviously. That would be ridiculous.

Oh dear. Still, it’s only 24 hours, isn’t it? How bad could it be?

Is there anyone out there (apart from weird vanilla or male-dom types) who does not recognise Mistress Sidonia von Bork? Wonderful name, wonderful lady.

Realism in session – it can be over-rated, you know.

Nice tits. Nice cattle prod. Can’t have one without the other.

He should go down on her knees to her. Like he did when he proposed. Or whenever he needs to use the bank card.

Yeah…well, that’s actually true.

Yes, I’ve experienced pain in my marriage

Fairly regularly, actually. Usually on Tuesday and Friday evenings.

Gives you a warm glow inside, knowing she’s in charge, doesn’t it? And outside too – obviously.

I’m sure he can take it. Being chained up helps a lot, for a start.

Women, eh! Never satisfied.

I think they are antennae. I find it’s the antennae that usually get detached. Unless she insists that I chew of course – then it just all goes everywhere. Don’t you agree?

Lucky, lucky us.

I yam what I yam

… and I thought what I yam was a beta male, but apparently not. It turns out, I am an omega male:

Omega animals are subordinate to all others in the community, and are expected by others in the group to remain submissive to everyone. Omega animals may also be used as communal scapegoats or outlets for frustration, or given the lowest priority when distributing food.

Ah, let me be her outlet for frustration…

Yes, Ma’am.

Not a beta – you see?

Actually, good rough sander will have much the same effect – and it would be a lot cheaper. Fun, too.

I’m sure she’ll think of something.

There’s always a bit left over.

Let’s spend the night together

Now, this time around, your night in the cage is going to be
a little different.

Why? Because Mistress says so of course. But if you mean “In what way, Mistress?”, well, it’s because
you’ll have a little friend to keep you company, that’s why.

Can you guess?

Well… I read your diary the last time we did this – and
you’ve been keeping a little secret from me, haven’t you?

Hmmm?

Begins with ‘A’?

No, I don’t think you’re going to get it. ‘Arachnophobia’ is the word I was waiting for.

Now calm down. No,
come on. Calm down! It can’t really do you any harm.

Goodness, what an awful racket. It’s a good thing we soundproofed this
dungeon, isn’t it? And you know there’s
no point tugging on those chains like that.
They’re very strong. We wouldn’t
want your arms free to squash the poor little thing, now, would we?

That’s better. Try to
breathe normally.

What’s that? No, of
course you can’t. Don’t you
remember? You asked for a session with
no safewords. I can do anything to you
that doesn’t cause any actual damage.
Well, this is it.

Anyway, I’ve heard that this sort of thing is the way to
cure these silly little phobias. You’ve obviously got rather a bad one.

Well, I’ll be off.
I’ll just let little Miss Moffit out, and then I’ll close the door nice
and tight so she can’t leave either.

You know, they say the spider is more scared than you
are. You might want to bear that in mind. Although, looking at you now,
that’s hard to believe.

Do you think it’s better with the light on… or off? Better to see it… or just to know it’s there? Oooh, choices, choices. I’

Hmmm. Tell you what. I’ll just leave a torch shining from the other side of the dungeon. Then there will be a few well-lit spots, but mostly it’ll be dark.

I beg your pardon? No
– of course I don’t want an extra £1000 in tribute! What a ridiculous thing to say! You’ve completely broken the mood now. Well, I mean it would be nice. I’ll let you give it to me afterwards. But it won’t get you out of this. Bad boy – you’ll get an extra six hours for that. Release won’t be until after lunchtime tomorrow.

Goodnight. Play nice.

(Now come on Sweetie…out you go, now… there!)

You captured my heart, and now that I’m no longer free

…make love to me (in stereo!).

So hard to choose…

That’s a relief. I was feeling a bit unmotivated there, for a moment. But I expect the whip will sort that out.

How humiliating it is… not to have enough of your own money to buy condoms for your wife’s date! Sigh. Better fetch the purse.

Nothing to worry about at all. I’m sure they handle all sorts of different online payments.

Grr, She had a headache last month, too. I’m beginning to think she might be faking it.

Routine

Hmm? No – lots of men ask about that. I suppose it was a bit
strange at first. But after the first week or so, working on the castration
ward just feels like working anywhere else in the hospital. I’ve been doing it
for almost two years now –bit boring actually.

Right – now we’re just removing the testes today, OK? Then
your penectomy’s tomorrow. It’s best to get the testicles out of the way first,
so there’s no danger of tumescence during the operation.

Oh now, come on. It’ll be all right. Nothing to worry about.
I castrated two men this morning, and I’ll probably get another three done
after I’ve finished with you. Just relax. You’re in good hands.

My name’s Deborah, by the way! Sorry – nearly forgot to say!
Terrible really, you know – it can get so routine, I just think of you as my
“10 am castration”. But every patient’s different, aren’t they? A real person, not
just a set of genitals to be removed.

Anyway – you’re John, aren’t you? Oh – really? Are you? Oh, I’m really sorry, George. Maybe John’s one of the ones this afternoon. I’m sure there was a John. Anyway – pleased to meet you, John – George! I’m Deborah. Debbie, really.

Anyway, let’s get on with it. Ready? You might want to look
away during the procedure. Just look at the chart behind my head, or something.
Won’t take a moment.

Here we go.