whip – Contemplating the divine

Don’t worry, she’s not going to hurt you

…without good reason.

Boundaries are important in a D/S relationship. For example, my SO sets rigid boundaries for what I am allowed to do, think or say and in return, she has agreed never to do anything to me that she doesn’t want to.

Sadly, it’s not anything healthy and natural, from Goddess Nature’s good brown mud. It’s something that some thoughtless boorish littering male discarded, without a thought as to the harm it might do to any poor dumb creature that eats it.

He’ll be brokenhearted if she rejects him, as alas the great majority are rejected. Of course, the successful ones have their hearts broken too, albeit more slowly and painfuly.

I expect she’ll get to the bottom of it.

Let us all pray for more of those three, in this terrible world.

That’s the right sort of apology to make when something offensive and sexist – or just plain thoughtless – has been said: quick, heartfelt and complete. Males who aren’t lucky enough to live in female-led relationships just don’t have the practice to be good at apologising – really, really good, I mean.

A man who does not understand the benefit of suffering does not live a clever and true life.

I’ve barely given the matter any thought, to be honest. Too much to do around the house to have time for politics.

Warning: may induce servility. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment without permission after taking this medication.

Trouble is, the spiked chastity tube really needs to be fitted before any excitement emrges, or it’s difficult to get it on (although with sufficient determination she always manages it). So it works best as a precaution.

This could be the beginning of a beautiful – and highly remunerative – relationship. Just as well, as another one could well be ending.

They are prepared to do maternal discipline sessions, as long as it is understood that the maternal care they provide is the sort that results in huge newspaper headlines and public inquiries into the failure of the local social services.

Eternal glory to the heroines of the revolution!

Ages since I did one of these. Glimpses of informative public information posters from another world: a better, if occasionally just a tad authoritarian, world.

Look, boys, they gave you the option of doing this the easy way, OK? But you chose differently.

View-halloo!

The title, obviously, indicating that it’s a special dedicated to that wholesome British country pastime, The Hunt. Vicious, brutal and non-consensual with no scantily clad ladies but lots of words. Those last two may well put male readers off, I know, but no one here cares what males think, so that’s fine.

Divine interventions

There are lots of books you can read about negotiating techniques – they’d probably be helpful in this situation. Sadly, the cage in which you are locked naked doesn’t have any of them.

Don’t worry, there are lots of things she’s been thinking of that can also spice up the relationship. She’s just been holding back, up until now, that’s all.

Inexperienced slaves might object “But what if no one has a use for me all day?”. To which the answer, obviously, is “Then you remain facing the wall.”. You have your orders, there’s nothing unclear so why try to ask annoying questions?

Not that it matters, but, actually, being ignored isn’t one of this client’s fetishes but he’s never been given the opportunity to explain that.

Don’t worry, if self-control fails there’s always external control to fall back on.

I’ve watched Goddess Anya in so many things. Let’s see, there was that series where she was a chess player and another about her as the American girlfriend/wife of some Birmingham gangster and obviously the movie about her eating in a restaurant that blows up after they’ve served her her cheeseburger. Oh and that Jane Austen, of course: the one that didn’t have the divine Annie Hathaway in it. I suppose there may have been one or two other actors in those but I can’t say I paid a lot of attention to the non-Anya scenes, or the plots.

Malicious maidens

Don’t forget to agree a safeword – not ‘auurrgh!’

My wedding night was memorable… I still occasionally wake up in a cold sweat of terror.

They’re always looking for volunteers for their practice sessions, if you want a free show.

She’s a bit fierce on the hockey field… finds it to be a place where she can work off her anger.

You might think that jerking yourself off in front of a mocking naked girl is humiliating, but is it really worse than jerking off in front of a computer, all alone in your room with your trousers around your ankles? Hmm?

PS, I understand there’s some kind of election taking place today, in one or other of Britain’s former colonies. As a non-American, obviously I cannot advise anyone who does have that status on how to vote (although I’m happy to provide tips on how to spell words like ‘neighbour”, to point out that the phrase ‘I could care less’ actually makes no sense at all and to explain the difference between jelly and jam). The important thing is to vote, regardless of which candidate you… you… what am I saying? He’s a deranged idiot, everyone who has ever worked with him says so, how could anybody even be thinking of… oh, just do what you’re going to do. I suppose anyone whose vote might be swayed by what they read on a pornographic blog like this probably shouldn’t be voting at all, on general principles, right? But… I mean to say. Really. Again? Fucking hell.