whip – Contemplating the divine

Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling

It’s a very rewarding relationship. But there can also be penalties.

She hasn’t completely forgiven him you understand. The topic *will* come up again… but that’s enough for one day.

A bit thoughtless of Suzie, I’d say, leaving her gimp chained up for her friends to look after. She could have got one of those autofeeder things and saved them a lot of trouble. Or just a really big bucket for the food mixture.

Then you can get on with making dinner. They’re going to be hungry, I expect.

I never know anything. Wouldn’t particularly want to, if I were there… I could just be.

…and an extra one, which I wrote in a particularly worshipful mood.

… although actually that’s not true (like many things on this blog), because obviously in session you can get away with calling her ‘Mistress’. Which was just as well for me, as I’d always assumed it was some variant of ‘El-ee-ssa’. I was granted the extraordinary privilege of visiting Mistress Eleise three or four times about ten years ago and I never did realise I was saying her name wrong in my head until I heard her say it in a video, quite recently. Fortunately, I never committed the unforgiveable sin of mispronouncing her name out loud, to her very feet (oh, those feet…). Not that it got me out of the slappings (and the mocking… oh, that mocking!) I so thoroughly deserved.

Relentlessly romantic

And it makes her life easier too – she can focus her disciplinary efforts on gratifying her own sexual desires, instead of constantly having to make you scream for mercy over simple household tasks inadequately carried out.

You don’t want to make it her problem, believe me. She employs very effective problem-solving techniques.

Well she could look a bit more interested! I mean, here you are, ready to scream your guts out as you thrash around in agony for everyone else’s pleasure…

I can date to the very day – almost to the very stroke – the moment I reached the same realisation, in my own blissfully happy marriage.

She’ll get the hang of it. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few kitchen slaves, am I right?

Actually, she’s unfairly disparaging* AFM’s technology section here. Just in the last few issues they’ve reviewed all the latest electronic air fresheners – focusing on how easy it is to change the scent they disperse – they’ve had some fascinating pieces on the microfungus ecologies that thrive and provide such rich aromas from even the cleanest armpits and they have tested out all of the latest AI models with a carefully standardised prompt crafted to induce them to describe a particular activity (can’t remember what it was) in as much detail as possible. Plus reviews of shaving technologies obviously.

*But then, Ms Palvin is very welcome to disparage me unfairly as hard and as often as she wants. I live for the hope that one day she will.

Whip smart

Just to cite one possibility, at random, among so many.

The Honourable Dogbreath-Twattington takes his role very seriously and never reaches a decision without careful thought about the possible consequences of getting it wrong.

Some prefer candles and soft music but they’ve discovered through much experimentation that this is what works for them.

He’ll thank her for it eventually, you’ll see.

Oh, I hate playing the ‘guess what I stepped in’ game. Surprisingly enough, for instance, beetles and slugs taste very similar, despite actually coming from entirely separate phylla of the animal kingdom.

Oooh kerosene play! Quite edgy if you currently have quite a lot of body hair, I understand.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to hurt you

…without good reason.

Boundaries are important in a D/S relationship. For example, my SO sets rigid boundaries for what I am allowed to do, think or say and in return, she has agreed never to do anything to me that she doesn’t want to.

Sadly, it’s not anything healthy and natural, from Goddess Nature’s good brown mud. It’s something that some thoughtless boorish littering male discarded, without a thought as to the harm it might do to any poor dumb creature that eats it.

He’ll be brokenhearted if she rejects him, as alas the great majority are rejected. Of course, the successful ones have their hearts broken too, albeit more slowly and painfuly.

I expect she’ll get to the bottom of it.

Let us all pray for more of those three, in this terrible world.

That’s the right sort of apology to make when something offensive and sexist – or just plain thoughtless – has been said: quick, heartfelt and complete. Males who aren’t lucky enough to live in female-led relationships just don’t have the practice to be good at apologising – really, really good, I mean.

A man who does not understand the benefit of suffering does not live a clever and true life.

I’ve barely given the matter any thought, to be honest. Too much to do around the house to have time for politics.

Warning: may induce servility. Do not drive or operate heavy equipment without permission after taking this medication.

Trouble is, the spiked chastity tube really needs to be fitted before any excitement emrges, or it’s difficult to get it on (although with sufficient determination she always manages it). So it works best as a precaution.

This could be the beginning of a beautiful – and highly remunerative – relationship. Just as well, as another one could well be ending.

They are prepared to do maternal discipline sessions, as long as it is understood that the maternal care they provide is the sort that results in huge newspaper headlines and public inquiries into the failure of the local social services.

Eternal glory to the heroines of the revolution!

Ages since I did one of these. Glimpses of informative public information posters from another world: a better, if occasionally just a tad authoritarian, world.

Look, boys, they gave you the option of doing this the easy way, OK? But you chose differently.

View-halloo!

The title, obviously, indicating that it’s a special dedicated to that wholesome British country pastime, The Hunt. Vicious, brutal and non-consensual with no scantily clad ladies but lots of words. Those last two may well put male readers off, I know, but no one here cares what males think, so that’s fine.

Divine interventions

There are lots of books you can read about negotiating techniques – they’d probably be helpful in this situation. Sadly, the cage in which you are locked naked doesn’t have any of them.

Don’t worry, there are lots of things she’s been thinking of that can also spice up the relationship. She’s just been holding back, up until now, that’s all.

Inexperienced slaves might object “But what if no one has a use for me all day?”. To which the answer, obviously, is “Then you remain facing the wall.”. You have your orders, there’s nothing unclear so why try to ask annoying questions?

Not that it matters, but, actually, being ignored isn’t one of this client’s fetishes but he’s never been given the opportunity to explain that.

Don’t worry, if self-control fails there’s always external control to fall back on.

I’ve watched Goddess Anya in so many things. Let’s see, there was that series where she was a chess player and another about her as the American girlfriend/wife of some Birmingham gangster and obviously the movie about her eating in a restaurant that blows up after they’ve served her her cheeseburger. Oh and that Jane Austen, of course: the one that didn’t have the divine Annie Hathaway in it. I suppose there may have been one or two other actors in those but I can’t say I paid a lot of attention to the non-Anya scenes, or the plots.

Malicious maidens

Don’t forget to agree a safeword – not ‘auurrgh!’

My wedding night was memorable… I still occasionally wake up in a cold sweat of terror.

They’re always looking for volunteers for their practice sessions, if you want a free show.

She’s a bit fierce on the hockey field… finds it to be a place where she can work off her anger.

You might think that jerking yourself off in front of a mocking naked girl is humiliating, but is it really worse than jerking off in front of a computer, all alone in your room with your trousers around your ankles? Hmm?

PS, I understand there’s some kind of election taking place today, in one or other of Britain’s former colonies. As a non-American, obviously I cannot advise anyone who does have that status on how to vote (although I’m happy to provide tips on how to spell words like ‘neighbour”, to point out that the phrase ‘I could care less’ actually makes no sense at all and to explain the difference between jelly and jam). The important thing is to vote, regardless of which candidate you… you… what am I saying? He’s a deranged idiot, everyone who has ever worked with him says so, how could anybody even be thinking of… oh, just do what you’re going to do. I suppose anyone whose vote might be swayed by what they read on a pornographic blog like this probably shouldn’t be voting at all, on general principles, right? But… I mean to say. Really. Again? Fucking hell.

Girls just wanna have power

That’s not strictly true – she actually does care. That’s why she does it.

Let’s hope Mistress is feeling forgiving. It’s not been known to happen often but there’s always hope.

Right now, he’s thinking having to cope with her passive-aggresive behaviour is actually worse than being whipped. He’s wrong, but we’ll let him discover that for himself, shall we?

She didn’t really suspect him of having an affair. She has more confidence in his fidelity to her than that – an unshakeable confidence, actually.

Just look in to those eyes and say the first thing that comes into your head. What’s the worst that could happen?

Sorry the blog’s been a bit Joyless lately, but that’s fixable.