surprised by Joy – Contemplating the divine

Scoldplay

This café’s quiet but it can be quite fun taking a gimp to a busy café terrace. People at neighbouring tables want to know what insulting names you call it, ask if they can slap it, that kind of thing. Good converation starter.

With a monthly subscription it works out at just a few cents per stroke, which is very reasonable. Unlike the ladies who work there.

I suppose we’re all familiar with the trope that a stiletto heel exerts more pressure than an elephant’s foot. Personally, I still think I’d prefer the stiletto but in the event (unlikely, I know, but my SO can be wonderfully creative) that I’m ever trodden on by an elephant, I’ll let you know how it compares.

Queen Patricia always insisted on the importance of hygiene, at OWK. Any new Lady soon learnt that anything dirty, rotting or smelly had to be put promptly into the proper receptacle.

You could spell some of the words out, letter by letter, under the cane. Particularly fun in German. Just ask your Lebensabschnittsgefährterin.

I could be unnecessarily distracted by Anya all day.

… and yet more images of the lovely Jutta Leerdam, inspired by a comment by shorty:

Your two great eyes will slay me suddenly

Their beauty shakes me who was once serene; Straight through my heart the wound is quick and keen.

I realise that Sunday’s posts tend to be themed and this is only loosely themed, since most of the ladies featured on this blog do have eyes, usually two of them (except in the stranger sci-fi or ‘further side’ captions) and the eyes, like everything else about them, are usually great. But it does get a bit more specifically themed, towards the end, you’ll see.

Hey – well done you! First time your sexual perfomance has really satisfied her. Let’s hope it’s the first of many.

Mixed signals can even end up in slavery contracts. For example, my first contract ruled out having cigarettes stubbed out on me as a hard limit, but it also said that my purpose in life was to please my SO, including sexually. Quite a dilemma – but she dealt with it decisively, as she so often does.

Many men prefer women of moderate size in that regard, but you wouldn’t think so from looking at online porn.

It’s actually much nicer not to have a financial allowance, I find, as you don’t have to bother yourself with budgeting and suchlike and it really helps develop those pleading skills, which are all-important in a successful relationship. Plus there’s much less danger of buying anything she might not approve of, which is just one less anxiety to worry about, isn’t it?

Don’t worry: you’ll get a new name. And if you ever forget it (and you will, lacking any long-term memory), just strip naked and ask someone who knows how to read to tell you.

Actually, Anya quite likes submissives, in their proper place.

The above refers of course to….

By the way, truth imitates art, reality imitates fiction and all that sort of thing, right? As is so infrequently demonstrated on this blog, whose predictions are scarily inaccurate. But Anya…

OK, look, do I think she’s really the lifestyle domme / female supremacist of my dreams? No, alas, probably not. But do I think she knows perfectly well what effect some of her outfits have on a certain male demographic? Oh yes, I totally do. As I pointed out before, so these are just a few more:

OK, that one was because she’d just been in a Mad Max movie. But the rest…?

Could be taken from a Woman Worship shoot. Not AI to the best of my knowledge?

… and… and even when it’s not specifically the clothes, it’s the look, it’s the attitude. Right? I mean…

…and… and…

I mean, sure you *can* caption the image with her saying something chastity-themed (I think I have) but it doesn’t actually need the caption, does it?

Of course although the dominatrix and ice maiden looks will have 90% of male submissives essentially catatonic with awed desire, there’s still the more sissy-oriented minority in our community who are unlikely to respond to… oh hang on, never mind:

… and surely any findomme would kill for an image like this on her web site:

Sigh…

Why are we still here?

It is fifteen years since this blog launched, with a post whose brilliantly creative title still dazzles across all these years: Why are we here?

That post does not feature among the best the blog has produced, but under the lash of my lovely overseer’s whip, I have quarried out a few milestones from each of the years this blog has managed, against all expectations and logic, to continue to exist.

Just to warn you about links to badly-formatted posts below… one of the least interesting milestones for this blog is that it transferred from Blogger to WordPress in 2023 because Google decided it was too naughty for ordinary people to see. So any posts before that were imported en masse using a WordPress tool. It worked reasonably well, but the formatting of text is awful, the resolution of images on the main pages is bad (click on them to see them properly) and although people’s comments are there, each post says there are zero comments.

OK? Not my fault if the old posts look crap. Blame Google. Right: on with the milestones.

2011 saw lots of firsts on this blog, obviously, since that was the year it started and it started in January. But June 2011 was the first post featuring actual heart-stopping beauty, Miss Hathaway (whom I disgracefully – against wishes she has repeatedly stated perfectly clearly – called Anne, not her preferred ‘Annie’). But that wasn’t her first appearance in the blog, as the Blogger version had a different layout, with a footer image, which was the lady herself, reclinging languidly (hence the reference in the linked post to looking down at the bottom of the page – this is the image).

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2011/06/captivating/

2012… oh what happened in 2012? Goodness, I can’t remember. I suppose, I was young, free and sing- … no, that’s not right. Young and fr-… no. OK, just young, then. Younger anyway. But then I was younger yesterday too, so what’s new? The caption below appeared in 2012. I like it.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2012/09/little-things-that-make-her-laugh-2/

2013 saw the appearance of Turning Points! Fresh and original at the time, tired and hackneyed today, like so much else in the blog and, if we’re honest, life. But it was good, for a bit, and still very occasionally is.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2013/09/turning-points/

2014 saw the first post in a series motivated by nostalgia for former days: OWK Ladies Remember. The original OWK ladies – not the modern visitors such as Mistresses Courtney, Ezada and Sophia, wonderful as they are all. Reminiscing to a supposed interviewer about the grand old days of weird hats, slaves with mad moustaches in concentration camp uniforms and frankly a career that the lovely ladies cannot reasonably have anticipated, as happy little Young Pioneers growing up under communism a few years before. And now here I am reminiscing about the OWK ladies reminiscing. I reckon nostalgia’s just not as good these days, have you noticed?

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2014/10/owk-memories/

Incidentally, 2014 also featured the generic Contemplating The Divine post, that anyone can use (or nowadays simply feed an AI) to churn this stuff out forever.

2015 featured lots of stuff, including one of my favourite science fiction themed captions, ever. I don’t know what it is about this one that… oh yes I do. Anyway, obviously there have been lots of science fiction captions, because I’m ~~a sad little nerd who gets excited about space and aliens and~~ an aficionado of the genre.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2015/07/like-lovers-do/

2016 saw an interesting departure for this blog, into the weird world of maledom / femsub play. Personally, I prefer my fantasies a little more realistic – I mean, if I tie a woman to my bed, to have my wicked way with her, how can she even unlock my chastity belt? And anyway, how would I find the time to dominate a woman with all that laundry still to be done? Be that as it may, I did one post featuring captioned images of submissive women and decided April 1st 2016 would be the perfect day to publish it. Back to ‘normal’ on April 2nd, obviously.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2016/04/female-submission-month/

2017… oh I don’t remember what I was doing in 2017. Looking at naughty pictures on the Internet and trying to think of captions, I expect, same as usual. I had previously published some pieces of advice, to subs and dommes or anyone foolish enough to think my opinion on anything might matter, really (of which this is my favourite) but in 2017 I published a travel guide for American subs visiting Europe that I still quite like. It needs updating, though… I’m sure there are some lovely strict dommes in Copenhagen who’d like nothing better than discussing Greenland with any visiting US patriot.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2017/08/if-its-friday-this-must-be-belgium/

2018 saw the outbreak of World War M. It’s been going on ever since.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2018/05/world-war-m/

2019 was mostly much the same as other years. It’s funny, it seems like almost every week my SO is kind enough to give me ‘a beating to remember’ but after a while they all merge into one hazy, vague screaming fit of desperate apologising, you know? Memory fails – and so do I, frequently. So here’s just one caption I found when perving around my 2019 posts, which I quite like. But then I like images of ladies wearing gymslips, you know? Rancid old creep that I am. Especially ladies who later successfully got two lots of alimony off a billionaire, like the lovely lady below (and here). Oh – and Debbie Harry. Obviously.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2019/05/penalty-and-repentance/

2020 was a strange year. There was that thing going on, remember? Yeah, that was quite a thing. I wrote some captions about the thing. (I also wrote my most popular story – The Lovelorn Blacksmith. There’s a sequel in 2025 but it’s not as good).

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2020/03/the-thing/

Incidentally, 2020 was the year I picked way back when as being sufficiently far in the future for President Hathaway to be elected for the first time, on the Female Supremacist ticket. Funny how things turn out. But my predictive powers have rarely been great – for instance, I often promise my SO I’ll do a good job on whatever menial chore she has generously ordered me to do for her, and then it turns out on inspection that I’ve done a very bad job. Happens all the time. So what do I know?

2021 mostly featured the usual tired old shit, but I do affectionately recall watching the TV adaptation of the late great Terry Pratchett’s Going Postal and noticing that Claire Foy looked remarkably like Mistress Darla, whom few of you have ever heard of (and those that have are probably too old even to celebrate her in the way you might want to). Two images of each of the lovely ladies in the composite image below – no prizes for spotting which is which because obviously the one brandishing the whip is the mainstream actress, not the dominatrix. I’ve found some other lookey-likeys over the years, some more plausible than others, but I still say Victoria Coren-Mitchell looks like Mistress Sidonia, and others do too, so there.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2021/11/late-delivery/

2022… I didn’t realise she would become a regular feature, I certainly didn’t realise she would become a viral Internet sensation as ‘Bentley Girl’ (OK, more of a minor meme to be fair) but 2022 saw the first appearance of ‘Kitten‘, a.k.a. the lovely Alla Bruletova who in real life I am sure is far from the deliciously self-centred and manipulative little findomme she is so unfairly depicted as on this blog.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2022/06/when-things-are-looking-good-theres-always-complications/

2023… really, did I start the 1980s called series as late as that? Good Lady, I thought it had been going for ever. Well, it seems I did. But I suppose it was inspired by the appearance – at last – of PDFs of almost the entire series of the Vixen and Magazines on which as a 20 year-old I had cut my… rubbed my… well, I’d enjoyed ‘reading’ them a lot anyway. They are now available to buy, and so are Cruella and Goddess, so my bucket list life goals are complete, as least as far as chasing down femdom porn on the Internet is concerned. And actually, my bucket never had much else in it.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2023/07/the-1980s-called/

I hadn’t started faking the actual magazine covers and ‘next issue’ boxes in that first post, so here’s a later one.

2024 featured the development of a couple of series that started in 2023 – The Hunt and The Facility – both essentially ~~excuses to feature long captions to images of ladies wearing riding boots~~ explorations of the social consequences of sexist behaviour, in the English countryside. If they started in 2023 why am I counting them as a 2024 milestone, you ask? Well… I dunno. Don’t you want to see the pictures of pretty ladies in riding outfits? Yes, I thought you would. So why quibble?

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2024/07/facility-management/

2025 was… recent. It featured the same sort of stuff the blog features now because, it is the blog now, essentially. There was quite a lot of Joy on this blog in 2025. Let’s show some of that Joy right now.

https://contemplatingthedivine.com/2025/06/fortune-favours-the-meek/

Sneak preview: lots of Joy coming here on 1st February! Mark your calendars.

2026 is… is now? Really? Already? Seems like such a futuristic date. Shouldn’t we have cool things like… flying cars and… and jetpacks… and a brutal totalitarian femsuprem government? Oh well, maybe one day. For now, here’s an image of Annie herself, first published, umm… now. To round off this… this (chortles) annieversary posting!

Right, that’ll do for nostalgia and annieversaries (oh my sides!), until 2041. Oh – but not quite. Tomorrow’s post will feature an interview with an actual Female Supremacist! Yay.

It’s just one damn’ thing after another

Astute readers (there might be a few, even though the readership is mainly male) will recognise the most accurate definition of ‘history” ever provided, and will wearily be preparing themselves for yet another special featuring ladies covered from neck to racily-hinted-at ankles and no latex. Pre-twentieth century femdom, anyway.

Speaking of ancient history, by the way, tomorrow it will be fifteen years since this blog began and the occasion will be marked in some painful and educational manner or other.

If and when she says so

And not a second before or after.

There’s nothing wrong, of course, with finding humour in femdom. It doesn’t all have to be brutal whippings, torture and opppression inflicted by hard-faced unsmiling females. Brutal whipping, torture and oppression inflicted by happy, giggling females is just as good.

Last session she wanted it done anti-clockwise, I understand. But that was then, now is now.

The nice thing about submissive clients (there has to be something, right?) for the working girls is they can fit their sessions around normal customers. If a guy comes in and asks for Yulia, she can just pop boot-worshipper there into a cupboard in mid-lick, give the normal guy whatever he needs, then let the worm back out for a little used condom play before resuming the fucked-up boot thing. If she remembers he’s there, that is.

How many blondes does it take to change a sexist’s entire outlook on life? Just one, as long as she’s got a whip and he’s got an indefinite sentence. But actually, there are over 10,000 blonde officers in the Male Rehabilitation Service, and more than enough whips to go round, so it doesn’t really work like that in practice.

It’ll probably be easier just to rip the whole thing out and install a completely new unit, which at least gives them an opportunity to find a more attractive male.

Funny how that works. For her. Every time.

By the way, obviously there’s a huge amount of slop out there, so I hesitate to recommend anything AI but there are some occasional interesting bits and pieces. This guy’s little videos are quite fun and nicely done, I think, worth a look.

Don’t you dare

I never do. Never been much of a risk-taker, unless you count marrying my SO.

They’re planning to get together regularly.

She’s hoping to break into movies. Not necessarily castration movies, obviously, but if the offers come in…

If you’re not convinced by her argument here, don’t worry: she can help you come to a fuller understanding.

Reminiscent of that time a whole nest of scorpions infested the OWK Prison. Hard to imagine where they came from, given there aren’t any scorpions in the Czech Republic, but I expect there’s a perfectly sensible explanation.

They also serve, who only writhe and scream.

A post dealing with feelings of low self-worth

So, just like all my other posts then.

Tsk! Mixed signals. Why do women do that?

The guy has it easy, if you think about it: I mean, the ladies are the ones doing all the work. Jasmine’s amazing, by the way: she doesn’t hold back. I don’t know where she gets her stamina. I hope he’s appropriately grateful.

Don’t worry, after a few years of marriage you’ll have a very keenly-developed understanding of exactly what annoys her and by precisely how much. There’s quite a lot, but one of the joys of marriage is learning about one another, isn’t it?

I suspect the hairdresser might be slightly less amused if she discovers how much money Mistress is being paid to sit there and mock her slave, compared to how much she’s actually paying for the haircut. Well… *she*‘s not actually going to be paying this time, obviously, and she’ll make sure he leaves a massive tip, but you know what I mean.

He’s barely paying attention because he’s upset she hasn’t noticed or commented on the ‘anniversary bunny ears’. He went to so much trouble…

He will. Mentally, he already is and has been for some years now.

Canings and crumpets

“We’ll take our tea in the punishment room, Watkins, as I’m afraid His Lordship needs an extended session today. No tea for him of course but do ask Cook to whip up one of her marvellous horseradish enemas, will you?”

More Downton Domination.

She’s right on this one

And all the other ones.

Obviously, in dental play she avoids doing anything for which you need years of specialised training. Using anaesthetic, for instance, which can be quite dangerous if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, so she wisely never tries it.

Miss Chambers of Cruella, of course – and although it’s not in the foreground, it is in profile so once again, I will obsessively draw your attention to that lovely nose. Cleopatra has nothing on Miss Chambers. Now go and buy Andy’s stuff before he changes his mind about selling it online!