surprised by Joy – Contemplating the divine

A post dealing with feelings of low self-worth

So, just like all my other posts then.

Tsk! Mixed signals. Why do women do that?

The guy has it easy, if you think about it: I mean, the ladies are the ones doing all the work. Jasmine’s amazing, by the way: she doesn’t hold back. I don’t know where she gets her stamina. I hope he’s appropriately grateful.

Don’t worry, after a few years of marriage you’ll have a very keenly-developed understanding of exactly what annoys her and by precisely how much. There’s quite a lot, but one of the joys of marriage is learning about one another, isn’t it?

I suspect the hairdresser might be slightly less amused if she discovers how much money Mistress is being paid to sit there and mock her slave, compared to how much she’s actually paying for the haircut. Well… *she*‘s not actually going to be paying this time, obviously, and she’ll make sure he leaves a massive tip, but you know what I mean.

He’s barely paying attention because he’s upset she hasn’t noticed or commented on the ‘anniversary bunny ears’. He went to so much trouble…

He will. Mentally, he already is and has been for some years now.

Canings and crumpets

“We’ll take our tea in the punishment room, Watkins, as I’m afraid His Lordship needs an extended session today. No tea for him of course but do ask Cook to whip up one of her marvellous horseradish enemas, will you?”

More Downton Domination.

She’s right on this one

And all the other ones.

Obviously, in dental play she avoids doing anything for which you need years of specialised training. Using anaesthetic, for instance, which can be quite dangerous if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, so she wisely never tries it.

Miss Chambers of Cruella, of course – and although it’s not in the foreground, it is in profile so once again, I will obsessively draw your attention to that lovely nose. Cleopatra has nothing on Miss Chambers. Now go and buy Andy’s stuff before he changes his mind about selling it online!

Just for once, the queue for the ladies’ isn’t that bad but she’s always wanted to try this.

That’s the thing about a visit to OWK – it helps you confront your irrational fears and replace them with rational ones.

‘All men are equal’ – sure. I can get behind that. But that’s about as far as it goes.

Or should I say, she once had me

It’s almost as if the designers of women’s loos knew…

I got caught up in the ‘you too’ movement – it just took one finger pointing languidly in my general direction, if I remember arright.

There’s actually relatively little outside work experience that can prepare a slave for the rigours of an OWK working stay, although I have heard that working for Amazon can help.

Not really. He was bending long before he finally broke.

Not quite sure what she means there. Housemaids’ and husbands’ roles are practically indentical anyway.

She was known for being a bully at school. I read an interview with a guy who was so traumatised by being mocked and humiliated by her in geography class that he abandoned the teaching profession entirely.

Of all tyrannies a tyranny sincerely exercised for the good of its victims may be the most oppressive

And the sexiest, too. The quote of course is from dear old Jack, rumoured to have had an interest in all things spanking, but alas only on the dark side. Perhaps he just never met the right woman. Like most Englishmen of a certain age I read The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe and The Magician’s Nephew when I was young and impressionable (I’m now old and impressionable) and believe me, Jadis the White Witch would not have had to proffer much turkish delight to entice me into slavery.

I mean, goodness me…

He went to say that to experience the tyranny he is describing “is to be put on a level of those who have not yet reached the age of reason or those who never will; to be classed with infants, imbeciles, and domestic animals.” Well, indeed. It could almost come from an advert for the English Mansion.

Anyway, I digress. Rather a lot. On with today’s nonsense, which is not particularly CS Lewis-themed except for the usual tag about Mistress Anya – obviously.

Some people recommend dangling from your ankles to help sort out a bad back and I’m sure Princess Neive and Miss Analisa here would be happy to help out with that – and even give him something to think about while he’s dangling there, to help pass the time.

If it’s too difficult to decide, don’t worry: I’m sure she’d be happy to leave the upper bound undefined.

If you don’t like it, just tell her you’re not satisified with the service – go ahead, she’ll make sure your complaint is treated properly.

I hope she does it properly, potting them in the right order.

If ‘small testicle humiliation’ is a thing he’s going to be really good at it.

She believes in trying new things and it’s not as if her supply of boys is going to run out any time soon, so why not?

It is amazing how complete is the delusion that beauty is goodness

‘Readers of this blog, being erudite types, often to be found in exclusive salons discussing the role of foreshadowing in literature with other members of the intelligentsia (when they’re not sitting in front of their computers, trousers around their ankles, wanking to porn, obviously) will instantly have recognised the quote as one of Tolstoy’s and will thus, with sinking heart but a dreadful sense of inevitability, have discerned that today’s is another of those boring historical posts in which ladies rarely show their tits or dress up in exciting latex outfits.

Never mind, there’ll be a ‘normal’ post on Tuesday. In the meantime, try to get excited about finely-turned ankles and flirtatious badinage… or just go and whack off to whatever you can find on ImageFap, I don’t care.