Divine displeasure

Very different from my SO’s attitude – she likes to hear about how much it hurts.
Bit pointless to book a heavy session and use a safeword anyway. It’s like…. I dunno, going to an expensive restaurant and only eating stale bread with water. I mean, I’ve done that, obviously but…
She’ll definitely tell them off: she’s very cross about what they did. But she has a sweet, forgiving nature, so don’t be surprised if she goes back on her intention to ban all of them except Tony. I mean, that is a lot of cock to deprive herself of, and it’s not as if it was really such a big deal, right? And there’s the question of fairness to them to consider too…
You can have one of his trainers as well, if you fancy a threesome.
It’s ridiculous you can’t have men’s brains fixed to stop them being annoying… seriously annoying, I mean, obviously. We need to fund the NHS properly.
Lots of things to think about… and plenty of time to think, too.

At my lady’s pleasure

You didn’t think there was anything better than an orgasm, did you? Apparently you were wrong.
It’s good she’s taking the trouble to be so reassuring.
He’s always been harmless, but when she first acquired him, she decided to make sure.
I’m sure she knows exactly what she’s doing, so best not to interfere.
Most customers only make use of this service when all the machines are in use, but she just went straight for it. Of course, it’s a lot cheaper.
One of a series of ‘Cooking with Mila’ videos. ‘Housework with Mila’, ‘Gardening with MIla’ and ‘Money management with Mila’ all take a similar approach, I understand.

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy

John Calvin said that, kinky little slut that he was.

Scurry scurry….
I hope that isn’t real fur. It’s cruel, you know.
Oh, I hate sissy play-dates, don’t you? Sometimes I’d rather just be left at home, chained up on the back porch. But my preferences don’t enter into it.
I don’t see what isn’t sexy about any of that.
He should take her seriously. Very, very seriously.
You could ask. What’s the worst that can happen?

Simple obedience

Why make things complicated?

C’mon, don’t be selfish: work harder, Mila needs this orgasm.
She’s got a whole prison cell and interrogation routine worked out too.
Don’t worry: she’ll have to stop when she runs out of apples.
She has a very personal relationship with her deity. And she’s hoping for one with Sister Lucy, too.
You were probably just going to express your gratitude for how perfect everything is and check whether she has any criticisms you can take on board, right?
They come in various flavours, some of which go better with sweaty trainer than others.

Pretty woman, don’t make me cry

Oh, go on then, do.

They can be a bit dry but sometimes there are little snails or beetles to provide some gooeyness.
Quite right too. She usually is. In fact, she always is – that’s on her FAQs too.
Phones will only distract you if you let them – it’s easier than you might think to concentrate instead on the important things in life.
Don’t worry: the judge is strictly impartial in the manner she treats all males who appear in front of her. The accused, lawyers, tea boys… makes no difference to her.
Don’t forget to round up if your answer is not an integer. Oh: and to add ‘Ma’am’. That might seem pedantic, but your answer will be marked as wrong – and so will you – if you don’t.
‘As soon as possible’ doesn’t always mean straight away, of course. Sometimes Mistress wants you to spend an hour or two in the corner, holding the paddle, beforehand. It’s still ‘as soon as possible’, it’s just that your possibilities are a bit limited.

An Angel before you to keep you in the way

Definitely an angel. Angels in the bible did a lot of smiting, too.
Many mistress-slave agreements consist almost entirely of penalty clauses, actually.
It was actually Margot Robbie’s performance in this movie – in which she pushes a steel rod through this chap’s eye in the end of this scene, amusingly enough – which got her the gig in Barbie. But they changed the Barbie screenplay, retaining the ‘women’s world’ theme but giving it more ‘mainstream acceptability’ by removing the torture scenes and most references to castration. And they wonder why people say cinema’s lost its magic.
That seems a bit dismissive. My SO always lets me plead for a while.
I can take the beatings but sarcasm is a hard limit for me.
How excited, exactly?

Malicious maidens

There are no problems – only solutions.
Don’t forget to agree a safeword – not ‘auurrgh!’
My wedding night was memorable… I still occasionally wake up in a cold sweat of terror.
They’re always looking for volunteers for their practice sessions, if you want a free show.
She’s a bit fierce on the hockey field… finds it to be a place where she can work off her anger.
You might think that jerking yourself off in front of a mocking naked girl is humiliating, but is it really worse than jerking off in front of a computer, all alone in your room with your trousers around your ankles? Hmm?

PS, I understand there’s some kind of election taking place today, in one or other of Britain’s former colonies. As a non-American, obviously I cannot advise anyone who does have that status on how to vote (although I’m happy to provide tips on how to spell words like ‘neighbour”, to point out that the phrase ‘I could care less’ actually makes no sense at all and to explain the difference between jelly and jam). The important thing is to vote, regardless of which candidate you… you… what am I saying? He’s a deranged idiot, everyone who has ever worked with him says so, how could anybody even be thinking of… oh, just do what you’re going to do. I suppose anyone whose vote might be swayed by what they read on a pornographic blog like this probably shouldn’t be voting at all, on general principles, right? But… I mean to say. Really. Again? Fucking hell.

Just do as you’re told

I mean, how hard can that be?

Don’t worry: you won’t have to say much. Counting and thanking for the most part, maybe a few hundred words of apology and gratitude at the end.
Don’t you always feel uncomfortable, on the outskirts of a conversation like this? I do.
Of course it’s fair. Every ten weeks (subject to good behaviour, obvs)? That sounds like a non-stop sex party, as far as I’m concerned.
I’m told that the trick to buying a car in America (yes, it’s American – see, they put the steering wheel on the wrong side? Oh – and that blue jacket too…), is to negotiate on price and hold out for a good bargain. Just be aware, though, that that same tactic is absolutely catastrophic when approaching a findomme.
Thank goodness the only face we can see is the lovely one of Princess Kali.

Still lovely, still here.

In fairness, Sissy usually gets to go to bed a lot earlier than Mistress, too.

Slavish loyalty

…it’s the best sort.

While they’re gone, the areas on your back they left free of suncream should get nicely sunburnt, so you can pass the time trying to work out what word they wrote.
Thank goodness for that.
Kevin’s going to stand up and be a man. For once.
I admire high-powered career women like her. She manages to hold time a full time job and still take care of inspecting all the housework, as well as putting a lot of time and effort into the relationship itself.
Fortunately, shrieking hysterically when subjected to even moderate CP is something I’m really good at, as every domme I have ever sessioned with can attest.
You’re special, never forget that. She won’t.

Up to her

How can the shopping trip be over when your credit cards are all still below their limits?
Make sure you get a receipt. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, but £20 is four times your weekly allowance and she doesn’t want you to have to face that kind of temptation.
Men who try reading snip-lit are often disappointed – expecting it to be full of descriptions of vicious gadgets and gore. But women are actually much more interested in the character development. Sure, she’s tied him to the bed and she’s slowly castrating him, but how is that going to make her feel?
It’s actually quite common for the woman to provide most of the love in the relationship.
Oh, and that scene you wrote where she’s standing on your back? Just be a love and make sure there’s a firm hand-hold out of camera shot, will you?
Look at that happy face. Isn’t that worth just a little pain, hmm? Of course it is. So having established that, if instead it’s a lot of pain she inflicts, we’re really only haggling about the price, not the basic principle, right?
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