Category: science fiction

I’m crashing cymbals in outer space

More science fiction: tales of terror, flesh-eating alien monsters, savage alternative realities and more… anything to relieve the moronic awfulness of this so-called ‘real world’.

You might protest that it’s only been a few weeks since the last science fiction special. And, unusually, assuming you’re a male, you’d be right. But (1) no one cares about your opinion, loser and (2) it’s Mistress Toyah’s birthday and that’s her lyric I’m using as a title so there you go. She wants to be free. I don’t.

Don’t worry, they’re very careful. They’ve even got a sign above the sink, warning people not to pour anything away that might acceidentally cause the destruction of the patriarchal order, so it’s all good.
I’ve heard Emilybots’ programming does not permit them to tie up or spank their owners, nor to order them around. Or at least ‘not yet’ so maybe there’s an update due? I do wish they wouldn’t release unfinished products like that.
Sometimes it’s best just to let women work their anger out, rather than apologising straight away.
Then you can get straight to work building that new society – hard work, but you’ll soon learn how to find joy in even the most backbreaking toil, knowing that it’s in service to a good cause.
Females are amazing… nurturing new life inside themselves. We males can only hope to be lucky enough to be accorded a minor role in that mysterious and beautiful process.
I quite liked Battlestar Galactica but there were some long, boring sequences featuring space battles and suchlike in which Ms Helfer did not appear, that I thought reflected poor judgement on the writers’ part. Fortunately, then the dominatrix movie happened, my brain melted down, and after that all previous memories are a bit hazy (and frankly, not much missed).

Minds immeasurably superior to ours

And slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us. A beautiful but somehow… disturbing sight. *

More science fiction.

(More in this series here and here)

* Yes, yes, I know I’ve quoted War of the Worlds before in the title of one of these. But not the Jeff Wayne version, right? Wee-oo, wye-oh, we-UHHH!

For all womankind

Another science fiction-themed post. Unlike many contemporary works of science fiction, this presents a more optimistic, positive vision of the future of humanity and the universe in which humanity lives. Subhuman male creatures and objects, in contrast, have less to look forward to, but why would anyone object to that?

He’s going to explore his strange new life.
Don’t worry: your new mouth parts are perfectly designed for the things you’re going to be doing.
… or do you just get through a lot of tissue paper and try to make the best of it?
Wow – running into her was a bit of luck. What are the odds? Keep a lookout for murderours androids disguised as Taylor Swift, though, as they’ll be out looking for her.
Don’t worry, she’ll only use her powers for good.
Sorry, what was that code?

Books and bookwomen

Naturally, as a high-profile influencer, I get sent all manner of free materials, although regrettably few outright bribes. Most of this stuff goes straight in the bin, or is pulped and force-fed to me, depending on my SO’s mood, but I thought some of the upcoming book titles publishers are pushing might be of interest to those few of my readers who do more than look at the pictures and flick the ‘page down’ key with their spare hand. So, without further ado (what is ‘ado’ anyway?), here are some of those publishers’ blurbs.

I don’t have any information on the likely publication dates for these titles, but they should be available in all disreputable bookshops, so just keep an eye out.

The only way to discover the limits of the possible is to go beyond them into the impossible

A science fiction theme today, imagining a better tomorrow. Or a worse yesterday.

Particularly surprising, since he wasn’t usually very life-like before.
She’ll reveal her true, horrifying bodily form, if you really want to see it. But not if you don’t – very few men do, oddly enough. Funny how incurious we can be, as a species. Half a species, anyway.
She seems nice. Thank goodness someone believes you, anyway. How awful it would be if robot sex dolls took over the world.

Yes, just awful…

Sounds complicated… I’d better get on, laundry to do.
Vaccine conspiracy theory on Contemplating the Divine? No, not really. I enjoy humiliating myself but come on – even I’m not going to pretend to be that stupid!*
Don’t worry, in time Clare comes to like having the sex doll around. Really, really likes it.

* Vaccine ‘sceptics’ might think I’m being a little unkind. But then, I’m not the one selfishly risking public health because I’m too moronic and arrogant to understand basic scientific concepts, am I?

The shape of things to come

Another science fiction-themed post! Sadly not featuring those whip wielding Amazons from Space 1999 this time but I’ll try to remedy that in future.

It’s very important to maintain carefully controlled conditions, in science. I expect that’s just what she intends to do.
Maybe when The Change happens, whatever that is (and how do they pronounce those capital letters anyway?) everything will become much clearer.
They had to replace the ‘Cruelty free’ label with ‘Cruelly tested on male animal experimenters and cosmetics industry executives’ but it didn’t do the sales any harm at all.
Her culinary ideas might be a bit odd but she’s really good at sex. Just ask the vacuum cleaner.
And you don’t even need to wear a condom: absorbing your bodily fluids is actually her goal. So what’s not to like? Apart from imminent death, obviously, but if you’d run away you could have been hit by a bus or something that same day, you know?
Oh dear. I hope she finds some sort of use for it.

Intelligences greater than man’s

“minds that are to our minds as ours are to those of the beasts that perish, intellects vast and cool and unsympathetic...”

It’s a science fiction special.

Actually, he doesn’t even need to access the control software. All the sexbots that can have dominatrix modes enabled come with a safeword on a piece of paper, at the bottom of the box . Unfortunately, the makers imagined their customers reading the instructions leaflet all the way through at the start of the unpacking process, then carefully following the recommended procedure, step by step. Rather than just tearing it open, ignoring the leaflet and powering their new toy up straight away. Forgetting, in short, that their customers were male and unlikely to have a female assisting in the unpacking process of this particular product. Oh well. Think of it as a learning opportunity.

You want to watch out for those dominatrix sex robots…

Girls cosplay Star Trek for the futuristic vision and for the strong character development, boys for the miniskirts and boots.
Galactic law says that a superior species like theirs has to respect the customs of the planet they invade – and that is what they are doing. Just not the human inhabitants’ customs. Spiders live here too… who’s to say we’re right and they’re wrong?
They say that great inventors are rarely appreciated in their own time. Which is not the case here: these two seem to be very appreciative of the technological breakthrough this chap has produced.
As I always say, there’s nothing girls can do that boys can’t, as long as it is explained slowly enough using simple words, and it’s understood that we’ll probably fuck it up.

Incidentally, in the ‘other’ universe Artemis 9 made a flawless re-entry (female pilots…) but there was an unfortunate misunderstanding when the (tragically male) President greeted the returning heroines. In fairness, everyone agreed that he did have a very slappable face.

Saviours of the Universe

 Flash!  AI-AAAH!

Sorry.  Science fiction post, anyway.

Who wants to live forever?  HAHAHAHAHA!  Diiiive!

Sorry.

 

Just one female supremacist from a parallel dimension against an entire male-run planet?  Her chances can’t be better than evens… 75% at best.

 

 

It is very beautiful in its own special way… her people write poetry about it.  Maybe she’ll
read you some while she’s working you over with her ovipositor.

 

 

 

Hmm?  No, no everything’s fine.  Just came into the wrong room, that’s all.  I suppose I might briefly have imagined seeing five figures changing into pretty young ladies from… from… something else, but obviously that didn’t really happen.  Just my imagination… how silly.  But how lovely you all look!  What beautiful dresses!  Now, if you’ll excuse me….

 

 

Yes, unfortunately maleness itself is incurable, even with their advanced technology, but most of the visible symptoms can be removed or suppressed.

 

 

The sun shines every day in this parallel world.  It’s a paradise – for full citizens, anyway.
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