OWK – Contemplating the divine

Take you over and under and twisted up like origami

Sounds like she’s got a good understanding of the basics already.

There’s no excuse for that kind of rudeness. Hugo’s got as much right to enjoy your wife, free from any snide sideways looks, as any of the other guys, right?

Like any organization, OWK needed administrative staff but the ladies early on hit on a brilliant scheme to keep the staff costs down. Incidentally, I understand their management style was largely ‘top down’ although could occasionally also be described as ‘bottom up’.

Just a bit of harmless roleplay… indulge her. In her nurse’s uniform, mmm….

She likes to keep her slaves fit. And in pain, too, of course.

Sounds like she’s got a lot of work to do, in this marriage. I’m sure she’s up to it, though.

Regular ‘readers’ of this blog who actually bother to look at the words, instead of just beating off to the pictures of pretty ladies looking stern, will realise that much of its ‘humour’ is inspired by the style of Gary Larson’s cartoon The Far Side.

Where ‘inspired’ in this context means “a pathetic and embarassing attempt to publish femdom porn in a manner that is spuriously justified”

This week’s ‘special’ (no, not your monthly ‘special’, you have to ask Mistress for that) is a collection of captions that are particularly ~~blatant rip-offs of~~ close homages to that style. Without, obviously, either (a) infringing anyone’s intellectual property rights or (b) being funny.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I get paid just as much either way.

So chic so fine you all look so divine

I do my best thinking in the corner. Sadly, it’s still not very good.

Reminds me of my SO, who has a real phobia about germs. If there are any streaks left in the toilet bowl, she calls me to lick them away immediately. Hygiene’s so important to good health, after all.

Apparently, many men find female sexual fantasy hard to accept – but as long as you’re tied tightly enough, you’ll accept whatever’s going on, I say.

Yeah, it’s weird: from a very early age I had no interest in playing with toy hammers or saws but show me a mop or a dishcloth and I’d be away. I used to play in the girls’ household corner at nursery school (kindergarten to you, most likely). Well… I used to clean up their mess after class, actually, but it was play for me.

Of course in reality she’s speaking in Czech and he ain’t from round there so I’m afraid he’s not getting much of this. He has picked up a few words already in his stay, but all he’s hearing is “—- flogging —- punishment —– ball-kicking —-“. Fortunately the OWK ladies have other ways of making themselves understood.

So if he’s already had gay sex eleven times, that implies a gay/straight ratio over the course of his life of… well: infinity.

All bad poetry springs from genuine feeling

With grovelling apologies to anyone with even the slightest taste, it’s a special OWK poetry day! You see, I – no, come back! Really, it’s not that bad, and anyway at least there are pictures of –

Hello?

Anyone still here?

Oh well, just you and me, then. OWK poetry, anyway, all based on the kind of traditional British canon I learnt (but perhaps suprisingly given my interests did not actually have beaten into me) at school. More difficult than it looks, even done this badly, especially as there is essentially no one-word rhyme in English for ‘kingdom’, or for that matter ‘Owk’.

Just in case any of you are interested, puzzled or just entirely short of better things to do sitting there, as you are, in front of a computer with your trousers down around your ankles, the actual poems these are mangled from are, in order: