orgasm – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Domesticated bliss


Actually: confession time. I, servitor, am not actually into femdom at all. It’s all a cruel punishment perpetrated upon me by an evil woman who forces me to spend hours each week scouring the internet for pictures of ladies in leather boots, or holding canes – which don’t excite me at all! – and write silly captions on them. Oh, the torment.

Well, these things matter, y’know? Sure, Kurt’s main priority right now is to spend the night fucking your wife like a piledriver. But in the morning, he’s going to want a nice fresh pair of briefs to pull over his aching cock, amiright?

My SO, a few of her friends and I played this game with a tattoo pen once. Goodness, we laughed! Some of us.

Would it be to make a banana smoothie?

Cultural norms can vary a lot, even within the same country. At the office where I work, for example, I’m allowed on the furniture and to drink water without asking permission.

You’ve got me pretty deep baby

I can’t figure out your watery love

She can help you deal with feelings of guilt, too.

I’ve never seen the point of masturbation gloves, to be quite honest. I mean why buy a special item of clothing that you’re almost never going to wear?

You could try to bluff your way out. Or grovel. I think I’d go with grovel… but that’s just me.

Nice to have something to think about, to take your mind off how much it’s going to fucking hurt.

Always consensual. It’s rule number 1. Well, in my relationship it’s actually rule number 286, but you know what I mean.

Fear and loving

Oh, no. Not Lucy.

They do furnish a room.

It’s a good idea to have it written there on the fridge, to remind you both that it’s overdue. I’m sure she’ll get round to it, though – no need to nag.

Boring old politics. Still, you’d better go along to look pretty on her arm.

You could kiss and make up.

She looked me up and down and really put me in my place

She said: “Nice legs, shame about your face.”

Been revisiting the music of my teenage years. Although to be honest this one provides a rather more accurate picture of my dating experience. And this one is just timeless, as far as I’m concerned.

Actually, as a former investment banker he’d probably be better at handling the financial negotiations himself. But they each have their own role in the business, I suppose.

I hate it when that happens. But then I hate it when it doesn’t, too. You know?

He used to be a client. A lot of the stuff that’s lying around did. Some of the leather coverings too, if we’re brutally honest about things.

Especially with her reading circle coming round to discuss it that very evening.

That’s good. Because when Madame Svetlana is displeased, very regrettable things happen.

Penile servitude

Aooooarrrahhh-oooo, eeehhhhuuuh!

I’m sure we’ve all been there.

That’s true, actually. I mean, I certainly don’t experience pain the way my Significant Other does. I experience it a lot more frequently, for a start.

“Just” in the sense of “only”

Hmm. 16 orgasms in less than a minute. Quite a performance. Let’s try not to repeat it.

More unpleasant things

…of the usual sort.

Don’t worry, she always reaches orgasm eventually. She won’t give up.

(The lovely, Divine, Mistress Heather.)

If you pay extra, she’ll do tease and denial too. That’s where she asks you if you’d like to come, before telling you to fuck off.

Actually, she does get occasional complaints. But they’re always retracted, with a heartfelt apology, before the end of the session.

Technology… oh dear. As if I wasn’t already obsolete enough.

In space, no one else can hear you scream.

Elle ne regrette rien

I just love that “we agreed”, don’t you?

It’s working if it’s hurting.

Oh, it’ll be fine. What could go wrong?

Sometimes being humiliated is not the most humiliating thing..

This of course is the divine Mistress Eleise de Lacy. I met her. She’s wonderful! And no doubt would never be as unprofessional as this, in a real movie.

To be fair, it’s been a while since she had a really good orgasm. So, y’know, she’s owed.

No means no

There’s been a lot of news lately about the need for men always to seek a woman’s consent before any sexual activity. And I think that’s exactly right. If she says no – that’s it. You’ll just have to wait until next month.

Finally found something you’re good at! Well done.

The selection process is quite rigorous. Some don’t survive. But there’s plenty of them, so that’s really not a problem.

Well, if being told off and humiliated by an attractive lady in a sharp business suit doesn’t take his mind off sexy things, I don’t know what will!

They’re more kind of… snaily, if you know what I mean. You don’t? Oh. Well – kind of like a cockroach that’s been squished under a boot most of the day – and I expect you know how bad that tastes!

Awww… sweet.

Relationship management

I don’t really have much of a managerial role in our relationship, actually, so I don’t know too much about that. This is what I know about:

It’s not easy being newlyweds – so many things to learn about how to live together. Thank goodness for whips, eh?

Oh – and for some tips about marriage? Try Servitor’s seven secrets series. You’ll never see marriage in the same way again.

No indeed. He’s only got one left, and he’d hate to lose it.

Now I want you to know that Mistress Eleise, who features so beautifully in this image, would never really use a coathanger as a sound. Not unless it was strictly necessary, anyway.

Why do I imagine that what they decide to do about it will also involve beating…?

It’s actually quite hard doing open-heart surgery when you’re having an orgasm. Fortunately, it’s only a man they’re operating on.

Fatale attraction

Normal service is now resumed. And I can use the letter ‘i’ and everything.

Impalas! Intrepid! Vicissitude! Inimitable! Mississississississipipipipitipie!

Oh god, that felt good.

On we go.