medical – Page 8 – Contemplating the divine

I beg to differ

… but she rarely lets me.

I don’t want to do anything she disapproves of. It’s too painful.

Always expect the unexpected. Except on this blog, where we ran out of ideas years ago and just keep recycling the same old tropes.

It’s only a small bottle, but they deliver them in packs of 24, annoyingly.

Sure,
darling, of course, I… do you know, I don’t seem to have a pen with
me? What a shame, I’ll just – what’s that? You have one with you,
darling? Oh. Oh good. Right. So I just sign…? There. Right.

Mmm… blackmail fetish and schoolgirl play combined! Lots of fun.

She’s pure as New York snow

and if you’re lucky I expect she’ll tease you.

I expect she was just joking. Like the castration stuff – you shouldn’t take her too seriously when she says things like that.

Well, OK, as long as I don’t have to try to be brave.

So she should.

It worked on the first seven males she encountered. Not the brightest, human males, are they?

Two lonely people… why not give it a go? What’s the worst that can happen?

Violence is golden

Actually, I understand a day is like a whole beetle year. So in beetle years, you’ve got, what… 6 minutes left, maybe longer? And it’s not like you’ll be dying all in one go, anyway.

I don’t have any secret embarassing thoughts about women. They’re all laid out here, for all to see,

A little food goes a long way in the OWK.

Cherishing’s very important. She’s going to insist on lots of that.

It’s silly to be afraid of the sea, anyway. You know, you can drown in just a few inches of water, right? Especially with handcuffs on. My SO told me that once and likes to remind me of it from time to time.

Sexual kneeling

Mmm… concussion play.

To be fair, she did promise Simon a blow-job. So don’t dawdle.

They did a guy last year who – purely by coincidence – actually developed tonsillitis two weeks later. It took forever to get him strapped down the second time, goodness only know what they poor thing thought they were planning to cut off on that occasion!

It likes looking at the pretty pictures and thinking naughty thoughts, though, doesn’t it?

Well, all right then. But I hope Mike doesn’t go talking about it at work on Monday, that’s all.

Cower pose

Actually, little wifey has a spare and could easily be persuaded that medical monitoring at work is important too.

Remember: she loves you and would never want to cause you any pain. But sometimes she feels she has to.

Nicer, but dimmer.

It’s quite a slow way to communicate. But effective.

She believes equally in strict maternal and uxorial discipline.

What is femininism anyway?

Philomena Cunk has the answer. Men are just like women really, they’ve got their own little personalities.

Not femdom – I just adore Diane Morgan.

This that follows is femdom, obviously.

A romantic moment. Treasure it.

Hmmm. Now if only I could unlock this collar, to get the word out to the other men… Oh well.

She sounds even Mina than the lovely ladies in the picture.

Nothing to be embarrassed about. Unless you enjoy that sort of thing.

Or why the world’s hair is such a weird colour.

Dancing to Her tune

It’s definitely syrup, so don’t worry about that, OK?

I mean it’s no wonder she prefers spending time just with Howard if you’re all gloomy, is it?

I dunno. She orders me around, ignores my wishes, feeds my genitals to the cat… Sometimes I wonder why I put up with it all.

See? And you were worried you might not be having any sex on your honeymoon!

Domino specialists are odd. To visit one, you need to book in advance, phone that same morning before 10am to confirm (and receive instructions on meeting up, the first time) then take your course fees along in an unsealed envelope. I always take a little gift, too. Not dominoes – I expect they get enough of those.

Femalevolence

Oh, just go with it. You enjoy sexy abbatoir play, she enjoys bacon sandwiches. You’re very compatible.

Don’t worry. She respects the hard limits imposed by the Geneva Convention. No hollow-nosed bullets, just a good clean round through the forehead if you get the password wrong.

Poor thing. She obviously misses him terribly.

Yes, I could use a muscle relaxant. I’m feeling strangely tense about this – which is silly, because there’s really nothing that can go wrong with a tonsils operation.

Love that biker chic. He’s a switch – prefers to top, but confident enough to play the strong and silent sub on the bottom, you know? Goes by the name of Master Marcus when he’s domming. He’s also bisexual, or he soon will be, anyway.

Compliance training

He’ll do OK on personal appearance too. He looks like a cringing, terrified little worm, which is exactly how she likes it.

Don’t you just hate it when the dates of your personal appraisals at home and at work coincide?

Don’t worry, the HR people will deal with this sensitive matter appropriately, too. Perhaps you ought to drop round, thank them for resolving the matter so speedily? They’re the unsung heroines of the workplace, in my view.

Chemical castration – some say it’s a valid alternative to physical castration, but I say why not try both?

Don’t worry – I don’t mean actual ‘bears’! No bestiality in this blog, thank you very much! No, the caption is suggesting a scene in which this lady is renting out her – husband, boyfriend, stepfather, slave? – to anyone who calls and on this occasion it’s going to be a group of big, hypermasculine male hairy biker types. He is presumptively heterosexual by inclination, so the implication is that she is lying, exhibiting gratuitous cruelty to her insignificant other. OK? There – now you can enjoy the caption. Anyone confused by any of the captions in this blog is recommended to read the template post, available here.

Abject-oriented


I’m definitely going to have words with them about it when they visit! I expect that won’t be long. They’re very affectionate… in their way.

I might have a few thoughts about ironing? And obedience to women? But I guess those will survive the treatment.

Yes you do. You know you do. You’re probably doing it right now. Pervert. (That is kind-of what the blog’s for, after all)

I’m not following. I’m just walking here, enjoying the view. I expect if I just explain that, it’ll all turn out all right.

It’s actually a simple enough operation to remove it. The only problem is it’s tuned to detect such thoughts, so you’d be rolling around on the floor in agony before you could even pick up the phone to a doctor to arrange it.