Reproachful words

As Wittgenstein remarked: of that of which she does not permit us to speak, we can say nothing without severe consequences.
Mittens won’t eat that muck, apparently. But then cats are allowed to be picky eaters, unlike slaves, and it’s not as if they can force him to eat it.
Often the way, isn’t it, when couples get together? The wives find they have far more in common than do the husbands.
Poor Amelia, I expect she’s been worrying. Let’s hope she’s not too upset.
Advice to a US sub visiting the UK: if you’re asked what you’d like to do in session and you want a golden shower, try asking the domme if you can ‘take the piss’. If she looks surprised, tell her you’ve been taking the piss out of dommes for years and you’ve seen her website and reckon you can take the piss out her, too
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The lovely Tiffany Naylor, of course, who enlivens the otherwise unlively town of Milton Keynes, or she did at one point, anyway.

Like many stars who get confused with their characters by fans, she was annoyed at first but she’s learnt to lean into it. ‘Oh, you loved me in Mean Girls? Great… and does your girlfriend like the movie too? Oh, really – no one at all? Well, I’m not surprised with a face like that, what a sad little loser…” and so on. It’s a lot less effort for her than it is for the exalted Ms Gadot, whose fans expect a booted kick to the face.

Taking her advice

… as it’s a lot easier than taking her punishment. Often I have to do both, of course, but I’m sure it’s in my best interests.

Does anyone else look at fashion shoots including belts and try to gauge how much it would hurt?
It’s called a ‘no contact’ orgasm. For my part, I’ve perfected the ‘no contact’ aspect, but I’m still hoping that the orgasm thing works out.
That easy-going nature may soon pass, actually as her latex gets quite hot on a sunny day and it does make her a bit testy. So watch out for that, as you’re enjoying your healthy river cruise.
I wouldn’t mind, but he sent me the bill.
He has many happy memories from before, as well, so that’s something. As a matter of fact, just about every memory prior to his being put in the cage was ‘happy’ for him, relatively speaking.
Applies to remote viewing as well, perverts. Sorry. IP and email addresses logged and forwarded – there will be consequences.

Baby watch her eyes, you better watch her eyes

Anything you feel swelling up underneath you when you’re being spanked over Dave’s lap should be kept strictly as a secret between you and him, OK? It’s a guy thing: no need for her to know.
Fashion photographers can be so annoying. Just ask the ladies in this sweet little scene..
I mean, she’d never actually do it, right? You know that, right? ‘Course you do. So stop dithering and let her strap you down.
And your orgasms are even specialer, being so rare.
First goddess in my life, maybe…. I mean, I liked The Damned too, and The Undertones but… Ah, to be looked at, the way she looks at Kermit.

And here’s Captain Sensible performing ‘Wot’ on French TV, because pourquoi pas?

Men think of castration in such all-or-nothing terms, that’s the problem.

Forceful femininity

That’s disappointing. You’d think he’d at least be good at apologising, after all this time.
Sometiomes they shoot to incapacitate rather than kill, in which case the offenders are later inhumanely put down.
She does so like to make sure.
They say the waiting’s the worst part – but ‘they’ are wrong.
The version for hardcore submissives doesn’t even have any women in it: just the chair and the wall.
Everyone, I expect, same as usual.

Her weapons were her crystal eyes

Making every man mad.*

She’s right (obviously): pleading and crying in the hope of mercy is a complete waste of time.
There are some sick people out there… even reading this blog. It’s a creepy thought.
Even Mr Snuggly Bear was new once and remembers how hard that can be. But now he’s one of her favourites, so there’s always hope.
Don’t worry: it all turned out OK. The clinic were very understanding about it and managed to squeeze an extra op into their schedule.
Don’t worry, you’ll still be useful whatever position you end up in. A box is a box and she’s got a lovely tablecloth to go on top.
Just let her take the lead. And keep it.

* Fun fact! A later replacement member of Bananarama was openly into kink. Mistress Sidonia (Servitor kneels, forehead to the floor) has the story. The three goddesses in the video I linked above weren’t, so they probably just did their queening, pegging and mocking behind closed doors.

PS – Just to note again, if anyone missed my note on Tuesday’s post: that all updates to this site for 6 – 13 May, including all comments, alas, were lost following a computer glitch. You might think – I certainly thought – that this must have been my fault, because of technical incompetence and I should be punished. You’re not entirely wrong (even if you are male) as I am technically incompetent and should be punished, but this one was due to my hosting service, as I’ve just discovered now they’ve sent an apologetic email about the (system-wide) crash. I hope the males responsible are dealt with appropriately. Nonetheless, I apologise to people whose comments were lost.

Immature poets imitate; mature poets steal

As you know, this blog features immature material on mature themes so I suppose I do both these things.

NB: anyone playing the game of ‘guess the original song/poetry* won’t succeed with this one, as it’s just a handy safety mnemonic. Y’know like: “Stub it out on arse or thighs, he’ll lose his sight if in his eyes.”

* But did you get all the rest?

Dream girls

The sort where you wake up in a cold sweat with your heart thumping.

Well, if it’s pitiful enough it should, shouldn’t it? That’s what ‘pitiful’ means. Perhaps you could mansplain that to her – it can only help.
I don’t think they’d be in much doubt anyway, but best to make sure.
They pride themselves on delivering the product unharmed. It’s not just for ethical reasons: several of their clients specifically say they want to receive it entirely free of bruises, cuts or burn marks and with all bodily parts still attached. And they are very client-focused.
I tried a sperm donation centre once but they didn’t even have a key – so what was I supposed to do? Fortunately, the nurses there saw the funny side.
You don’t want to eat the stripy yellow and red ones, by the way. OK, obviously you probably don’t actually want to eat any of them at all, but that’s not my point.
I’d much rather give her a coffee than my opinion.

Just do as she says

hmm? So much easier.

Actually, guys with small penises have proportionately more everything. My little finger, for instance, is huge in comparison – a woman remarked upon it, once.
They’re reworking the pay structure too, to make it more discriminatory.
Zoe’s good at games, usually winning on the first move when she plays slaves at chess. She also enjoys playing ‘guess the voltage’.
I expect he’ll come up with some lavish belated gift or other… she can even make some suggestions while she has his full attention like this.
Of course it’s best to wear thick gloves when handling that X stuff as it can irritate the skin. But they’re professionals, they know how to handle things that can be irritating.
She likes to give her clients a ‘happy beginning’ occasionally.

Bitter sweet hearts

If they haven’t, perhaps she could suggest some.
He’s not. And she’s even arranged for a lovely, bracing shower before he gets home… well, about fifteen minutes before he gets home, actually, to allow time for him to dry off by running around a bit.
All trainers know that rule number one is to make sure you remember the names of each and every one of your group. But rule two says “Except Robert or Rupert or whatever the fuck that idiot’s called”, so that”s OK.
Top tip: if you’re offended at being treated like this and want to emphasise – politely but firmly – that you expect to be treated with the dignity due an adult, I suggest balling up your fists, stamping your feet and screaming hysterically about how unfair it is. I’m sure she’ll react appropriately and start treating you the way you deserve.
Think of it as an investment. In thirty years’ time, lying in a hospital bed on a drip, you’ll be able to think fondly back on this.
Ah, like the days of Covid when we were getting used to all this. We’ve all got our embarassing Zoom stories, I expect – mine involves a funnel gag, a plastic sissy dress and one of the bulls my SO had decided to let into our Covid bubble, but I’ll spare you the details. Bull in a bubble, you ask? Yes, she had to limit herself to just three, which she found very frustrating, poor thing, but I’m proud to say that I was able to help her work through her anger.