Category: joi

Just do as she says

hmm? So much easier.

Actually, guys with small penises have proportionately more everything. My little finger, for instance, is huge in comparison – a woman remarked upon it, once.
They’re reworking the pay structure too, to make it more discriminatory.
Zoe’s good at games, usually winning on the first move when she plays slaves at chess. She also enjoys playing ‘guess the voltage’.
I expect he’ll come up with some lavish belated gift or other… she can even make some suggestions while she has his full attention like this.
Of course it’s best to wear thick gloves when handling that X stuff as it can irritate the skin. But they’re professionals, they know how to handle things that can be irritating.
She likes to give her clients a ‘happy beginning’ occasionally.

Subordinate clauses

It’s pay to play. Except when it’s ‘don’t you dare play but pay anyway’.
There were great hopes for the ‘living crash test dummy’ programme, when it was set up, but it turned out to provide data of limited medical usefulness in studying brain damage because of course by female standards, males’ brains are already damaged.
Just like my wedding night… except my blushing bride wasn’t actually in the same room as me.
Thank goodness it’s only a hypothetical question. I don’t object in principle, but can’t she see I’m busy with the ironing?
Music hath charms.
Oh… I remember this occasion. Such a bad time to sneeze.

A woman scorning

with hellish fury…

NB: I believe there are still some problems with the antivirus thing preventing people posting comments. Obviously the fault of a male somewhere and I hope he gets his comeuppance. If you request access, I will approve and then your IP address goes on an approved list and you should be OK.

Always a good idea to have a best man who’s a better man than you. And his jokes will be something to chuckle over, when you’re sweeping up the mess after he and your lovely bride have departed for the honeymoon.
Fortunately, it’s not a recurrent condition… unless you annoy them again, obviously.
What Mistress doesn’t know about can’t hurt, surely? Or can it?
You might say she has an electrifying effect on the men she meets. That would be a terrible mistake and you would bitterly regret saying it, but you can if you really want to.
I find making choices difficult. Fortunately, I am rarely presented with any, these days.
Kitten likes to focus on the important things in her life. You’re no longer among them.

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”
It is – brutally – simple.
They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.
If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.
Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. John Cleese, Clockwise.

Rulers of your lonely heart

My approach, whenever there’s anything ambiguous in my SO’s instructions, is just to do all of the things she might possibly have meant. It’s a lot less trouble than asking for clarification, which I often find turns out to be quite uncomfortable.

Hardly worth going back on for the second half. Still, I suppose it teaches them valuable lessons for their adult lives.
Korean’s a difficult language to learn, I understand, but with the right motivation you can quickly pick up all the phrases you really need to know.
Scientists (mainly Serena and Alice, actually) have conducted extensive tests on the tensile strength of scrotums – although I understand they’re always looking for more volunteers, if you fancy it. You’d only be giving up an afternoon and it’s to help science.
Hmmm. Better concentrate.
It’s a funny story actually, because although it was very unprofessional, no one was actually hu – well, OK, someone was hurt, repeatedly and extensively, but he didn’t suffer any actual permanent damage. I understand the stage manager did apologise to Annie afterwards, for any embarassment his errors had caused her.

Bottom marks for effort

Something I should get for that headline, I suspect. Oh well.

Early on in our marriage, I once tentatively suggested to my SO that she could maybe lend a hand with the housework occasionally. She didn’t react well, although to be fair I was given lighter househod tasks for a few days afterwards, as I recovered. We still commemorate the day every year, actually, like a kind of second anniversary. It’s in a few weeks’ time and I’m already starting to feel that pit of dread in my stomach.
For a one in ten chance it comes up surprisingly infrequently. Oh well, can’t argue with maths – or women.
One of the slaves does understand Czech, but at this point he was trembling too hard to explain to his colleagues what was in store for them.
As AI and other technological marvels come in, I suspect that oral skills are going to be more and more important for young men starting their careers in the business world.
It’s all very well to say I go to bed at 8.30, but frankly Steve can be quite noisy too – as can she – and there are some nights I don’t get a wink of sleep for hours.

Seductive logic


I understand they have some extra toppings to add, too.


Seems only fair.  He was up half the night, poor chap.

Knew I should have gone with the gift card.

I went to see the St Trinians movie as soon as it came out, but I was a bit disappointed that I was the only one who’d bothered to dress up for it.  

Thanks for coming.