forced bi – Page 9 – Contemplating the divine

Gender imbalance

I won’t give away the ending. Oh all right then, I will. The book falls off and he gets the crap beaten out of him with a perspex cane. OK?

Now I understand why they make the interns wear shorts.

erm… Translation? Rotation? Summation?

I’ve heard that if you insult the waiting staff in some restaurants, they’ll spit into your food. But I just can’t bring myself to be other than grovellingly respectful to a waitress. What’s a sub to do?

One day she’ll meet Mr Perfect and won’t feel the need to enslave and degrade him. One day.

Pitiful, really

…but it’s all I’ve got.

I once dated a girl who said she wanted me to be a stallion in the bedroom. So I got all kitted up, you know in reins and harness, and when she came into the room I handed her spurs and the riding whip and she just screamed, slapped me round the face and left. How humiliating. Happy days…

Former boyfriends… bane of my life.

The first time a domme gave me a golden shower and ordered me to lick it up, She asked me what the taste was like. I replied ‘tart’ and things got very painful, very quickly. (Non-British readers won’t get that: don’t worry about it, move on).

I took a personality test once and scored a perfect zero.

She’s lying because she knows I like the contempt. Really, she has to keep swigging at that bottle to take her mind off the hot action in front of her. Otherwise she’d be overpowered with lust, at the sight of an overweight middle-aged sub, desperately jerking away on the floor by her boots. Women just can’t resist that kind of thing.

Simply divine, darling

It’s always such a relief when finally the boxes are all unpacked, there’s a chain the right length in each room, all the pillories and cages have been assembled and you can get back to ordinary married life, for goodness sake.

She’s always taken roleplay very seriously. They tried medical fetish play once and it didn’t turn out well.

Making a decision of my own free will, to do exactly whatever she has told me, immediately, is the secret to a happy life I find.

Oh, you’ve already promised to honour and obey him, so adding love to the mix doesn’t change much.

The truth will not set you free.

Chain keep us together, running in the shadow

Yes, it’s another link to a music video with only the most spurious and tangential connection – if any – to the theme of this blog.

That theme being, obviously, this:

He even scratched in the corner his tally of how many there are. But you could wipe that off if you don’t want spoilers.

He’s going to have ever such a clean mouth. And a very respectful attitude too.

Hmmm. Looks like you’re gettig that date rape after all!

Oh, it doesn’t matter. Mouth and anus – they’re just two ends of the same tube. As my SO likes to point out: shit comes out of both and ocasionally needs to be shoved into both too, so why worry?

Awww. Sweet.

You made a life out of hurting me

Well, a career anyway. (warning: link is DSFW*)

*Disappointingly safe for work.

Yeah, just do whatever comes naturally. She doesn’t mind.

Apparently, onset of the male menopause can occur as early as your 20s. You just have to marry the right woman.


And what’s Ioannis got that I haven’t, I’d like to know?

In an emergency, she could always just use one of the hotel’s coathangers or something.

She only puts the big ones on her trophy wall. Smaller ones she makes into into novelty hat or shoe racks and sells them on e-bay..

Mistress of arts

Women, eh? You can’t just straight-out discuss something, she has to set up the whole situation just right to ‘discuss it’. Oh well. Better humour her.

That’s a very wide hole. Still, maybe there are some guys who need that. Not jealous…

Phew. That could have gone quite badly. Remember the time you bought that fur coat in the wrong shade of silver?

I wonder if in the years to come, he’ll regret not having signed more forms? After all, it’s not going to be easy to sign anything, when she’s done with him.

This of course is the sweet and kindly Mistress Jo, of Cruella and British Institution fame. She’s just a softie really.

That’s something we’ve seen a lot of this year – this contemptuous attitude to ‘experts’. She could easily double the efficiency of the plant by not sitting on it, for example, but you just try telling her that…

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn. Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it’s any consolation, Jerry’s no happier about it than you are, In fact, he’s bloody furious. Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm. That’s diamonds eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don’t want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Pay to obey

I do.

Just remember to tell yourself that he’s just as humiliated by this as you are, OK?

Don’t listen to them. There’s plenty of kinky three-way sex in your future – it’s one of the most popular activities at the leather bar they’re selling you to.

I could probably work with it, to be honest.

You know, I think sooner or later I have failed every single ‘challenge’ a domme’s ever set for me in session. I’m beginning to think they might be rigged.

It’s good she isn’t letting a little thing like that rock her confidence. I’m sure her former client wouldn’t have wanted that.

Reasons to be fearful

You need to be careful about dehydration, as that can cause brain damage. So, if the sub’s higher brain functions are important to you, make sure you give him plenty of water. But if not, don’t worry about it.

Somehow I’m guessing that saying ‘no – sorry, I think there’s nothing here like that’ would not actually result in the beating being cancelled.

You just have to learn to masturbate without using your hands. Or moving.

It’s the difference between a cold, professional relationship and the warm partnership of a real marriage.

There’s a lot more of it, though.

Before you start, you’re already beat

She’s going to play you for a fool, yes it’s true.

I wouldn’t mind. Not that anyone would care whether I did or not.

If you’re still worried that there might be gay sex involved somewhere, they’ve offered to sign a written agreement that under no circumstances will you engage in any sexual activity of any sort, ever. OK? So: that’s all right.

I think it’s good that she still plays with her former boyfriends occasionally. The ones she hasn’t broken, anyway.

This was, and is, the lovely Mistress Mina Thorne who I am sure is a perfect professional and would never do anything even the teensiest bit non-consensual, unless you asked her to. Asked very nicely. But she does have a delightfully wicked smile so I keep featuring images of her doing evil things.

You’ve got to learn to pick up on these little signals now you’re married. Guys: the gag means she doesn’t want to hear it, OK?

I like this one a lot… S.