Category: financial management

You are the product

Except that today you’re not (unless your Mistress is putting you up for auction, obviously). Instead, it’s another collection of advertising-themed images.

Contemplating the Divine takes no responsibility for any painful, humiliating or soul-destroying consequences arising from attempting to use the products advertised here. Although any funny and embarassing stories are welcome, obviously.

No resemblance to advertising campaigns for actual products, especially soft drinks made by huge multinationals with well-staffed legal departments, is intended. C’mon, guys, can’t you take a joke? No? Oh well…

… and a bonus image. A different theme to the ones above, but I don’t have six like this, so might as well put it up here:

Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling

It’s a very rewarding relationship. But there can also be penalties.
She hasn’t completely forgiven him you understand. The topic will come up again… but that’s enough for one day.
A bit thoughtless of Suzie, I’d say, leaving her gimp chained up for her friends to look after. She could have got one of those autofeeder things and saved them a lot of trouble. Or just a really big bucket for the food mixture.
Then you can get on with making dinner. They’re going to be hungry, I expect.
Ma’am!
I never know anything. Wouldn’t particularly want to, if I were there… I could just be.

…and an extra one, which I wrote in a particularly worshipful mood.

… although actually that’s not true (like many things on this blog), because obviously in session you can get away with calling her ‘Mistress’. Which was just as well for me, as I’d always assumed it was some variant of ‘El-ee-ssa’. I was granted the extraordinary privilege of visiting Mistress Eleise three or four times about ten years ago and I never did realise I was saying her name wrong in my head until I heard her say it in a video, quite recently. Fortunately, I never committed the unforgiveable sin of mispronouncing her name out loud, to her very feet (oh, those feet…). Not that it got me out of the slappings (and the mocking… oh, that mocking!) I so thoroughly deserved.

Held in contempt

Have a bit of empathy for goodness’ sake: she’s not actually ‘asking’ here… mars and venus thing, you know?
Curiously enough, none of them confessed until she got to level 11, then three did, all at the same time. So of course she had to carry on a bit to sort out who was telling the truth and who lying. Which was a bit hard on the other six, I suppose, but fairness is important to her so she wanted to be sure who was guilty.
They’ll be bringing you a special meal and drinks, so be sure to tell them if there’s anything you really don’t enjoy eating.
They can still have a lot of mushrooming fun. The woods are full of fungal growths: on the mossy ground, around the base of tree-trunks, growing on rotting old logs. A few of them are poisonous to humans, though, so she should find a way of testing for toxicity before taking any home to cook.
They used to have cigarette girls too, astonishing though it is to think of that today.
Kitten’s sympathetic face is pretty good, don’t you think? She had to practise it a lot, when she was starting out, because she didn’t find it easy.

Women of consequence

You often hear it said that women don’t really care about cock size and that’s certainly been my experience. Most women I’ve dated have made clear to me that the size of my cock is of no interest or practical significance whatever, as far as they are concerned.
In the modern world, men have to learn to be supportive if they want to remain useful.
Oh, you can stick with being Number 13. You’re already among the luckiest men alive, to be one of her paypigs, so I don’t think you need to worry about anything bad happening.
Men don’t really do irony. Screaming and begging for mercy, that’s what they do.

Tamara Kenworthy there… oh, Tamara Kenworthy.

Who is also the lovely Samantha Alexander, here being delightful and non-dominational in a video introduced by (formerly Strict Miss) Zoe Page. So regrettably vanilla, although so captivating in appearance and voice and the line “We’re not in Chesterfield any more” gets extra points for Britishness. Does anyone know if the other lady, Charlotte Elizabeth, is also a domme? She looks kinda dommey.

Now he has to endure that agonising pause while he awaits her reply. She’s really good at agonising pauses.
How could you not, when she smiles so sweetly?

Women’s men

It took a while for me to get used to our D/S dynamic in restaurants. I used to get embarassed at being so publicly submissive – even over what are actually practical and necessary things like, for example, my SO requesting that my food be given a quick whizz in the liquidiser so it can more easily pass through my feeding funnel. But you soon realise that the waitresses just don’t care: they’ve got jobs to do, after all.
That’s awfully generous of her.
I can do some quite spectacular things with it. Just not while having sex. Or at least, spectacular things have occasionally been done to it, by mischievous and highly creative people.
She has a keenly attuned sense of what your needs really are.
She’s got a little whip on which each of the thongs is studded with diamonds cut into sharp little points. Some might think that’s overdoing it, but she thinks it and the marks that it leaves are pretty and as long as she likes it, really who is to question her taste? Not me, certainly.
Form an orderly queue by the stage door…. Hey! I said an orderly queue! Look, if you can’t even follow simple instructions, she’s hardly likely to …

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”
It is – brutally – simple.
They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.
If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.
Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. John Cleese, Clockwise.

The gimp and the simp – a poem

A silly little thing (I know I am but what are you? Oh no, hang on…). Anyway, just a poem, not worth taking up a whole posting slot, so up it goes as an extra.

“I don’t know how you cope”

Said the gimp to the simp

“With her constant demands for more cash.

Don’t you long when you meet her, to kiss shoes to greet her

Or serve as a tray for her ash?”

 

“It’s my kink and that’s that.”

Said the simp to the gimp

“But your lifestyle is hardly ideal.

Caged or chained all alone, with no life of your own

Till you’re summoned to crawl at her heel.”

 

“I’m her pet and I’m proud!”

Said the gimp to the simp

And he showed off his monogrammed collar.

“You’re just moneyslave 9; when you’re typing online

All she sees is the sign of the dollar.”

 

“At least I can type”

Said the simp to the gimp

Showing fingers splayed out, with a grin.

“I can move my hands freely and stand on my feet – see?

My meals don’t come out of a tin.”

 

“Right!” – started the gimp

But his voice was soon stopped

By a ball gag, inserted at speed.

“Your mouth’s not to bicker, you boot and floor-licker!”

And the gimp was dragged off on a lead.

 

“Well that finished fast”

The simp chortled in glee

Then with shock he caught sight of his phone.

“Too slow to reply – that’s three times now, so bye!”

And he sat there, all sad and alone.

His purpose in life

Yeah, she’s very generous with her slaves’ time. Well, there’s plenty and it’s not like she needs or wants it all.
Wow – it doesn’t get better for a submissive than that! Well… maybe just a little better.
I once told a domme in session I was too cold and she promised to warm me up with her paddle, but after that I was still cold – just in pain, too. Of course, I didn’t tell her, after she’d been so thoughtful.
They’ll expect a tip of course.
The ‘sadistic dentist’ trope is so annoying to the profession. A survey found that only 42% of female dentists gained sexual pleasure from inflicting intense pain, which is actually slightly below the percentage in the general female population. And of those, no more than a third said they fantasised about having a man helpless in their chair and drilling for fun. So the next time you’re visitng for a routine check-up just try to remember that and relax, OK?
Kitten wouldn’t mind giving a pay piggie like you a blow job but she’s read up on it and apparently that’s only for sugar daddies and she does so want to do this right.

Spoken for

She’s already apologised to her sister on your behalf, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be going round to her place to apologise directly, too – and offer to make amends, of course.
Must be terrifying being tiny. Good thing there are big strong girls like her around to look after you.
Fishers of men.
Understandable that he wants to make sure, given that the two of them will be working so closely together every day, but sometimes a candidate arrives at an interview and just makes such a strong impression from the start that you know she’s going to get the job.

That’s the divine Heather, being contemplated in the scene above.

Many people don’t realise that in English, like very gendered languages such as Japanese, there are words that women can use that men cannot. But there are.
Sometimes an unexpected, spur-of-the-moment session can be best. One time, for instance, I was walking home late at night and clumsily bumped into one of a group of girls. Given no time to apologise properly, I was beaten up, kicked repeatedly in the balls and face, robbed, spat on and left penniless lying in a side-alley. When you think of all the emails and careful arrangements you’d need to do that with a pro-domme….
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