female-led relationships – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Savage elegance

… and elegant savagery too. Both are good.

She’s being remarkably patient with you, but patience has its limits you know.

I’m not sure it’s entirely sensible to assign such an important task to someone who is obviously completely unqualified and inexperienced. Those plants need just the right amount of water: too much and they drown, too little and they dry out.

He’ll have plenty of opportunity to think about it, which is just as well, given he is male.

Poor Treasure… I’m sure she is wracked with paroxysms of guilt. Maybe she needs a kiss and a cuddle, hmm?

Girl talk… good thing the guys have got more important things to be getting on with, than sitting around listening to her prattle on.

Her whip, her rules

It’s basically self-enforcing.

Males who spend their lives being obedient to a dominant female partner and carrying out her every command live longer, you know. Fact. They get beaten less often too.

Don’t worry, the first performance is just in front of a few special friends.

Hands out of your trousers first, OK? Don’t want to embarrass yourself.

Actually, you can have plans if you like. She really doesn’t mind one way or the other.

To misquote the immortal Bing Hitler (3.15 in): ‘A domme won’t sting ye, as long as ye don’t annoy her… but how dae I know what annoys a domme?!”

Severely

I suppose it’s polite to ask, but really she should just make herself at home.

He looks pretty trustworthy to me. You’ll be fine. Just think about something else for 20 minutes.

No, she’s not particular. Well…she is, obviously. Just not about that sort of thing.

See? There’s always a solution if you just talk it out. It’s like the time I finally told my SO I was finding our ‘lifestyle’ a bit difficult and in just a few minutes ‘talking it through’ we hit on the solution of shutting the fuck up and never complaining to her again. So simple, in retrospect and it’s avoided so many problems since.

She’s definitely going to go down there and check he’s OK, though. There’s just something she needs to do first, that’s all.

Textual humiliation

Scamper scamper… wag wag wag.

She’s not, like, a pervert or anything.

Mistress’s boyfriend actually, so a bit of both you might say.

Personally, I just feel more comfortable wearing stereotypically female clothing, because when I try to sneak any male clothing on I invariably get found out and beaten.

One fewer thing to worry about, then.

The nymphs tread out their ground, fa la

.. for now is the month of Maying. Fa la la la la la la la.

A latex-shining session? Pah – that’s practically vanilla. You’ve got a proper femdom activity booked, you have, so go ahead and enjoy every authentic moment of it.

That’s a shame, as the date was going quite well up to that point. Maybe they’ll leave you their phone numbers.

My SO is fine with me deciding for myself what I want to eat when we go out to a restaurant. She doesn’t usually let me have it, of course.

Don’t worry, she’s only planning to shoot to wound. Much more fun that way.

The shapely ankles and calves within these elegant boots belong to Miss Chambers, of Cruella fame. Now if only we could see her lovely, lovely nose too.

That’s a good clause. I have it tattooed on me, just in case I ever forget.

Oh, and as a little bonus, I just discovered this delightful thing and felt compelled to share it.

#Chris Pine from Entertainment Weekly

Adding insults to injuries

Costs extra but it’s worth it, believe me.

Try making a list of all the things you know annoy her and run through them all. It might take a while, but you’ve got all day.

I’m good at being annoying. Less so at having orgasms, because I don’t have as many opportunities.

Many visitors to OWK think Czech classes are pointless because the ladies just scream at you and beat you up anyway. Which they do, obviously, but occasionally being able to plead piteously for mercy in Czech can result in slightly less pain. Very slightly. Sometimes. And if the Lady in question is not actually Slovak, obviously. But still…

You might find you get a bit irritable without coffee. Interestingly, that can turn out to be a learning experience too.

Maybe she’ll show you what she’s put down on Governess Hardcastle’s booking form. Or maybe she won’t and it’ll all be a surprise! Still, at least you can be confident there won’t be any little blonde findomme princesses or tarts in latex with big tits. Thank goodness.

Her opinion matters

It does – like many other men, I discovered early on in married life how much pain can be caused by not listening carefully enough to my partner’s concerns.

Hmm. It’s hardly surprising they don’t send her the best boys they have, if she keeps on breaking them. But I don’t want to be the one to tell her that.

Unnecessary rudeness can leave such a nasty taste in the mouth.

Mistress wants her slave to put his clothes back on – quietly now! – tiptoe off to the dungeon door and silently fuck off. There’s a good boy.

It’s good they’re all labelled because the faces usually get a bit messed up and hard to recognise, particularly those who were married when they arrived.

Try not to judge her too harshly. He is very annoying.

More in indifference than in anger

Actually, female spiders eat their mates in only a minority of spider species and you’re in luck – the one that bit her is not from one of them. So I’m not even sure why she’s doing this, actually, but I’m sure if you point that fact out she’ll let you go.

Actually, the company medical plan does cover males but only for a few, specified surgical procedures.

Just go with it, see where it takes you. She’s not going to rush anything, plenty of time.

You might develop a foot fetish, eventually. And if you can develop a fetish for doing chores too you should have a very enjoyable marriage. Oh – and findom, too. Yeah, you definitely want to try to get into findom because there’s going to be a lot of that.

Irony… it’s like rain on your wedding day – which actually isn’t all that ironic, it’s just bloody uncomfortable, take it from me, especially when you’re chained up naked outside the church waiting for the bride.

Supremely confident

Thank goodness he’s around.

My SO can be quite inconsistent on this. If a tawse or cane she was hoping to use goes missing – or on one memorable occasion the batteries from her favourite cattle-prod – she instantly suspects me and we ‘have a little chat’ about it. But if a key isn’t where she’d expected it to be it’s ‘just one of those things’ and ‘is bound to turn up in a month or two’. Women. Eh?

As anyone deeply familiar with the OWK photographic record will testify: describing an OWK slave as ‘that one with the stupid moustache’ isn’t really specific enough. They might have to have a lot of slaves punched to be sure to get the right one. Still, no real harm done if so, I suppose.

Am I the only male sub whose first experience of toilet slavery was during the interval during a fully-booked theatrical performance? I suspect not.

…which is actually true of a lot of things, if you think about it. As I’m sure you have. Pervert.

Correct me if I’m wrong…

… or if I’m right, for that matter.

Another year, more of the same. Here we go.

Three and a half men, then.

Some people have complicated femdom fantasies. Others just have simple femdom realities.

Here – have you heard this one? Why did the blonde in charge of the Sexist Detention Centre press the red button in her office? To give all the inmates a series of agonising electric shocks! OK, you might not think it funny but, believe me, she does.

She’s not really a believer in unisex fashion, you see.

Don’t get her wrong – she’s prepared to accept there’s plenty of room for improvement in the relationship. Just not in anything she does.