feet – Contemplating the divine

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”

They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.

If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.

Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.

It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. *John Cleese, Clockwise.*

Talking down to you

The natural position, for those we look up to.

And actually, if you think about it, the three big hairy leathermen are probably just as scared of you as you are of them, right? Right?

A little light bondage is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the things she can do to you only *because* she’s put you into a little light bondage that you should fear.

Bit weird, because she always said she thought bald guys look stupid.

I think you might have pushed her boundaries, there.

Nothing personal. Almost all her clients are more important than you.

Don’t pretend to be a free human, not under that gaze.

An Angel before you to keep you in the way

Definitely an angel. Angels in the bible did a lot of smiting, too.

Many mistress-slave agreements consist almost entirely of penalty clauses, actually.

It was actually Margot Robbie’s performance in this movie – in which she pushes a steel rod through this chap’s eye in the end of this scene, amusingly enough – which got her the gig in Barbie. But they changed the Barbie screenplay, retaining the ‘women’s world’ theme but giving it more ‘mainstream acceptability’ by removing the torture scenes and most references to castration. And they wonder why people say cinema’s lost its magic.

That seems a bit dismissive. My SO always lets me plead for a while.

I can take the beatings but sarcasm is a hard limit for me.

The flesh is weak

But fortunately steel is a lot stronger.

She *can* supply both, but usually prefers to dole out only one.

If you’re worried about the client who was abandoned in the cell for so long, don’t be: he’ll be fine. She’ll give him a discounted rate for all that extra time.

It was a labour of love. Which would have caused pages to stick together in the old days of typed manuscripts, but now it’s just a matter of wiping down the keyboard from time to time.

Some couples find it uncomfortable to talk about money, but there are ways of making it easier – romantic, even.

She’s a sweetie really, once you get to know her properly. It’s just a matter of surviving long enough to learn her little ways.

Hopelessly unrealistic. A nun with jewelled rings on her fingers? I don’t think so!

Wait until she gets home

And if, when she does, she doesn’t come to open the cage, you can wait until she goes out again, too, and then start the whole thing all over again. It helps pass the time.

The occasional spanking can form part of a healthy and mutually-respectful relationship… as well as the sorts of relationships celebrated on this blog too, obviousy.

If it’s any consolation, she is actually wearing silk underwear.

It was this or the kennels and that can just be more trouble than it’s worth. All that fuss about how they generally only take dogs and cats… speciesism, that’s what it is.

She needs to develop techniques to relax, maybe take some of the tension away, especially if she’s going to be watching a lot of castrations. I expect going to lie down in the nurse’s room will help.

Apparently, the priest is planning to preach a sermon on practising thankfulness in marriage, which seems very apposite.

Special post today, featuring a lady you’re going to see a lot more of on this blog in – what? No, I don’t mean you’re literally going to see more of her, you nasty little pervert, I mean you are going to see the same bits of her more frequently. OK? I mean what sort of blog do you think this is? – sorry, where was I? Yes: this is Petra and you’re going to see her freqently here because there are tonnes of pictures of her out there and I think every single one of them looks very lovely indeed, so I have captioned at least half a tonne of them myself.

She is actually the star of a foot fetish site, as the logos in the images imply, and obviously if you really like this sort of thing I would encourage you to take out a subscription and have a look.

She is even into feet herself, as the bio at the front of the site explains, and honestly if you can’t believe what you read on a porn site in this day and age, then what are you going to believe, hmm?

For me, although I’m sure her feet are lovely – and very feety – for me, it is more her amused, sweet mocking expression that drives me absolutely wild.

So almost all of the ‘petrology’ captions are also about being driven absolutely wild, in that they suppose she is the keyholder in some insanely over-complicated and strict commercial chastity / findomme arrangement. Teasing, denial… rinse and repeat. With an Italian accent, obviously.

The only way is her way

Like ordinary wedding anniversaries, divorce-iversaries have materials associated with them. Appropriately enough, given his situation, this one is concrete – and the next is steel.

Oh yes… sweaty foot-dirt. That must taste just… awful.

Some men behave as if they’re losing their manhood when they go bald, which is just silly. Losing your manhood feels quite different.

Note to non-British readers. ‘Slaphead’ is a word for a bald person that is normally considered derogatory and insulting. However, since almost all bald people are male, there is no reason not to use it freely.