Category: electrics

Good boys always follow

As Ms Harry said, and I don’t think there’s any arguing with that.

I’m just relieved that the pins all the bridesmaids were issued with are for symbolic purposes. I’d imagined… well, it doesn’t matter, does it?
Males have difficulty sometimes in following through the logical consequences of their own statements. It’s not really their fault, they’re just morons.
Her company takes bullying very seriously. So does she.
Part of the reason the Kerbside Sexist Service is so popular, of course, is the generous rebates of up to 1000% on the subscription fee, paid by the sexists themselves. It makes ‘peace of mind’ very affordable.
If you do mind, she doesn’t.
Yeah, weird that. Mine are mostly for locksmiths, for reasons I’ve never understood, but at least that’s not something my SO could find objectionable, I suppose.

Ladies in red

Title says it all…

It’s a long staircase… plenty of room for more memories. Let’s hope these ones are happier, as she does seem awfully unlucky, the poor thing.
Waste not want not… you’ll be boiling that up with some dirty socks for your supper, later.
I think it’ll be a lot easier. Leaves you more time to concentrate on the things that matter.
If it makes her more comfortable, where’s the harm in it?
Sometimes it can be hard to get to the right answer, but it’s always easier when there’s a woman to tell you what it is.
In German, the verb is always at the end of a sentence which must make for tense conversations with disciplinarians.

She must be right

We want to hear happy positive words: specifically your online banking details.
Can you believe the ungratitude – and look at all the effort she’s making, you can see that just from his back.
After all this time not able to get an erection, it’ll be nice to be doing that again. Up – zap! – and down. And up again and – zap! Aaanndd….
There are twenty-four verses but I’ve spared you that.

This is the firm and very fair Tamara Kenworthy. Look at the determination on that face – I can only hope her husband learns to appreciate his luck.

If you’re worried about any darts missing the board and piercing you in the neck or face, don’t be. It’s going to be on a long cord, so it’ll be hanging lower down your body than that, just about over your stomach.
Or you could maintain your dignity and accept a spanking and early bedtime without supper, if you don’t want to demean yourself.

Sentimental cruelty

She knows perfectly well you’re only doing it in the hope she’ll get the leash out and drag you along. Be careful what you wish for, that’s what I say.
Although some ladies playing it don’t seem to understand the ‘or’ concept.
Oh dear. These social events can be such a pain.
When I pay for a lesbian sex show I like it to be much more realistic. The girls are more sensibly-clad and at home in bed with one another and I am nowhere in the vicinity – usually not even in the same city. That’s how real lesbians do it. I’ve heard.
She provides the glove, you can provide the rest. Oh – and the permission, of course, she provided that too. And that’s the most important thing of all.
Oh those sex robots. I bought one of the latest ones that supposedly has ‘artificial intelligence’ that reacts appropriately to the situation, but when I turned it on it opened its eyes, took one look at me and shut down irreparably. I told a friend at work who just laughed and told me I shouldn’t always fall for the very latest technology – if I want a machine in my life I’m better off with an electric toaster. So I tried that and now I have second-degree burns in a very uncomfortable place. Dammit.

Stinging rejoinders

Let her enjoy the moment, can’t you? For as long as it lasts.
I think a nun could be perfect and still not free from sin. Miss Kenworthy here is – quite literally – a perfect example.
Less is more, they say. And it’s better to give than receive, which I’ve certainly found to be true in my marriage.
Even without direct knowledge, obviously she does know in general terms how painful it is. She’s very knowledgable on that sort of thing.
Funny how ‘can’ means ‘must’ sometimes.
A day trip to remember.

Come along, darling

Don’t dawdle.

Oooh… 50% of the way there! That’s closer than I’ve ever got.
It’s not as high-margin a business as you might expect, but fortunately some of her labour costs are very low indeed. Speaking of which, have you negotiated your salary yet? No? OK.
From the look of the sea, they’ve got ages… which is just as well, because Julie can be quite slow to get aroused, unless she can use her cattle prod.
Every poet should have a muse. This lucky lad has two.
And let’s not have any old-fashioned patriarchal nonsense about ‘earning’ it, OK? It’s not your salary, not now you’re married.
You might find it hard to imagine you’ll forget you’re wearing something as heavy and bulky as that, but believe me: once the nipple clamps go on and the scrotal ring is properly anchored to your ankle chain, you’ll hardly notice it.

Love conquers all

So it’s best to offer unconditional surrender.

He will. Happy place.
He needn’t worry that his session tribute will, increase, though: instead she has a completely different financial model she intends to apply.
My SO told me on our wedding night that our intercourse had lasted almost exactly 45 seconds too long for her to enjoy it – which I thought odd, as it had only lasted 45 seconds in total. Just the first of many misunderstandings, but we’ve come to understand one another very well now.
They won’t be fresh of course… in fact, by then they’ll probably be rank and fetid. Yum. I hope she’ll warm them up, though. Nothing worse than cold sweaty socks.
I’m sure if she could bend the rules on this occasion, she would. But she doesn’t make the… oh, hang on.
And afterwards it’s easy enough to keep you tight by just moving up one strap-on size each time. It’s surprising – and a bit uncomfortable – how big they go. But Anya has strong pelvic muscles, as she says, so that’s OK.

Hypnotized by you if I should linger

I will listen hard to your tuition.

‘Hmmm’ as in ‘Mmmm…hmmm…’? Or as in ‘Hmmm!’ ?
I always switch my phone off before a session, And the location thing too. Once, visiting the delightful Mistress Servalan in Sydney, my own phone ran out of battery just before I was due to call her to tell her I was on the street outside and I had to call a dominatrix on my work phone. That was briefly stressful, but Mistress Servalan managed to bust my stress almost immediately.
C’mon, give her a break, for goodness’ sake.
C’mon: be a man. A very submissive, cringing kind of man, ideally.
She won’t use the shock collar on him either. Says it’s cruel.

The divine Miss Chambers, from Cruella. Oh that nose…

But don’t get too close. 1.5 to 2.5 metres, remember? And always behind her, which can be a problem if she turns around suddenly. A problem for you, I mean. She doesn’t mind.

Elegant arrogance

I once told a girl that I was really into sexy lingerie, and I got a full basket – all handwash only! Best date ever.
There’s no right and wrong way to do this sort of thing, of course: her method’s good, too.
My SO obviously has no personal experience of how painful her ‘little toys’ are, but she does like to hear all about it, in as much detail as I can shriek.
I once asked a pro-domme to choose her one favourite fantasy, for our session: whatever she wanted, no holds barred. So we played ‘Pay double and fuck off’, which turned out to be deliciously humiliating.
Trust is very important in a marriage – right up there with obedience.
There’s a tradition that the targets of the winning team get to go out to the winners’ podium with them – well, actually it’s better than that: they get to be the winners’ podium. So you could be in with a chance of participating in the medal ceremony.