caption – Page 20 – Contemplating the divine

She must be right

We want to hear happy positive words: specifically your online banking details.

Can you believe the ungratitude – and look at all the effort she’s making, you can see that just from his back.

After all this time not able to get an erection, it’ll be nice to be doing that again. Up – zap! – and down. And up again and – zap! Aaanndd….

There are twenty-four verses but I’ve spared you that.

This is the firm and very fair Tamara Kenworthy. Look at the determination on that face – I can only hope her husband learns to appreciate his luck.

If you’re worried about any darts missing the board and piercing you in the neck or face, don’t be. It’s going to be on a long cord, so it’ll be hanging lower down your body than that, just about over your stomach.

Or you could maintain your dignity and accept a spanking and early bedtime without supper, if you don’t want to demean yourself.

She is your everything

… which is just as well, as you’re her nothing.

Oddly enough, I was actually engaged in SPH play years before I even knew what it was – in the school changing room, for instance. I guess I’m just a natural.

Don’t worry, she generally just takes little light puffs, she doesn’t pull on it to drag it down quickly. Unless she’s had a hard day or something like that, obviously.

In a very real sense, marriage to her is a stress position, so it’s all good practice.

I find being on a leash quite reassuring. My SO got one of those extendable ones – you know, that have a kind of wheel that can pay out to allow the pet to run off some way – and I have to say, I felt almost agoraphobic with it on. Unfortunately, it broke one day when I was fetching it, and after a good hard discussion of why ‘it broke’ I was dragged out of the door on the good old chain.

Bunnies are actually savage little creatures. True fact (read Watership Down). Perhaps that’s what inspires these lovely ladies.

Hmm… looks like Jake was a bit surprised by that! He really shouldn’t have been – anyone could have guessed that Bluetooth connectivity was likely to come up. Now he’s going to get all embarrassed by having his ignorance shown up right there on stage.

Number 42 in the series, apparently! How many roads must a man walk down before he reaches a turning point, eh? OK, one, I suppose, as if he was on a second road he would presumably already have passed a turning point. OK, so not a good analogy, but you see what I’m trying to say here, right? Erm… anyway, I’ll just get on with the not-quite-femdom captions, now.

Just do as you’re told

I mean, how hard can that be?

Don’t worry: you won’t have to say much. Counting and thanking for the most part, maybe a few hundred words of apology and gratitude at the end.

Don’t you always feel uncomfortable, on the outskirts of a conversation like this? I do.

Of course it’s fair. Every ten weeks (subject to good behaviour, obvs)? That sounds like a non-stop sex party, as far as I’m concerned.

I’m told that the trick to buying a car in America (yes, it’s American – see, they put the steering wheel on the wrong side? Oh – and that blue jacket too…), is to negotiate on price and hold out for a good bargain. Just be aware, though, that that same tactic is absolutely catastrophic when approaching a findomme.

Thank goodness the only face we can see is the lovely one of Princess Kali.

Still lovely, still here.

In fairness, Sissy usually gets to go to bed a lot earlier than Mistress, too.

Sentimental cruelty

She knows perfectly well you’re only doing it in the hope she’ll get the leash out and drag you along. Be careful what you wish for, that’s what I say.

Although some ladies playing it don’t seem to understand the ‘or’ concept.

Oh dear. These social events can be such a pain.

When I pay for a lesbian sex show I like it to be much more realistic. The girls are more sensibly-clad and at home in bed with one another and I am nowhere in the vicinity – usually not even in the same city. That’s how real lesbians do it. I’ve heard.

She provides the glove, you can provide the rest. Oh – and the permission, of course, she provided that too. And that’s the most important thing of all.

Oh those sex robots. I bought one of the latest ones that supposedly has ‘artificial intelligence’ that reacts appropriately to the situation, but when I turned it on it opened its eyes, took one look at me and shut down irreparably. I told a friend at work who just laughed and told me I shouldn’t always fall for the very latest technology – if I want a machine in my life I’m better off with an electric toaster. So I tried that and now I have second-degree burns in a very uncomfortable place. Dammit.

As keen as mustard

… which is to be used in a poltice and secured firmly on the bodily part in question. More tales of domination with decorum, from Downton days.

Apologetics

…a word that doesn’t mean what you probably think it means, as it is a form of ‘systematic argumentative discourse’. So probably not recommended in the sorts of relationships this blog favours, where apologies should be simple, heartfelt (and felt in other parts of the body too) and frequent.