caption – Page 2 – Contemplating the divine

Beautifully devastating

Then he can stop being brave and, indeed, stop being a boy, at least on some definitions.

He might have added a gentle little pat, at times, and they’ll be giving him their own version of that too.

He’s got another uniform just as smart as the one you can see in the picture, but with more lace trimming.

Although if you’ve got an existing organ donor card, apparently that already covers it – you’re considered to have donated any organs that seem unlikely to be put to productive use, so they’re free for the taking. Some men have been a bit surprised to discover that, on waking up from a minor unrelated operation, but it’s right there in the small print.

Oh well, I suppose you can be grateful she’s not getting one of those cow milking devices with four tubes, for doing Robert, you and a couple of others all at the same time. For now.

She wasn’t asking for permission

It’s the latest in an occasional series celebrating the thrill and beauty of non-consensual femdom. Do I need to explain that this is intended to be tongue-in-cheek? I probably do, because most of you are male and thus a bit dim, even when you’re not wanking. In reality, consent is obviously of utmost importance in our weird little corner of the Internet. Any male speaking, acting or holding back money without his domme’s active and conscious permission to do so, is doing femdom wrong.

Boxing stupid

Yes, it’s Boxing Day. A day I have come to realise is culturally specific to the UK and a few other places that are a bit like the UK, but not as damp and with fewer bat-tunnels. It’s one of those phrases that non-British people often fail to understand, like ‘having a fag in the back alley’ (you can also be a fag, for an older boy at boarding school, of course); or making sure ‘your child always has a rubber in his schoolbag’, as the teachers don’t provide them, or ‘letting some woman piss in your ring-gagged mouth’, which is just an idiomatic way of saying you’ll take her advice (“Oh, I don’t know which movie to go and see, darling: just ring-gag my jaw wide open and you can piss in my mouth, OK?”)*

Anyway, traditionally a day for tidying up after the excesses of the day before, although some people are more active: many hunts go out on Boxing Day, for example, with whips cracking and horns blaring as they pursure their terrified quarry across the fields, and some hardy souls even have a tradition of jumping naked into the sea, here in Britain on one of the coldest days of the year. My SO has very thoughtfully signed me up for all three of these festive activities, so I’ve no time for a themed post, just the usual dross.

Forget Kurt. Well… don’t forget him, obviously: he still needs his laundy done and his appartment cleaned. But the important thing is that your chastity regime should be right for *you* and that’s what she’s focused on.

Wow, tough situation! Thank goodness she’s there for him.

Looks like babe brought a pineapple, though, and I’m sure there are some bits of that that could be put to good use.

She was a little disappointed that Dr Taylor insisted on anesthetising you for the procedure, but there’ll be plenty of time later, when you’ll have the feeling restored in all of the bits of your body that remain attached.

I booked a ‘mean date’ session with a sex worker and she didn’t even show up! Wonderful. It’s so rare for someone just to ‘get me’ like that.

Some men find it hard to adapt to a female supremacist work environment, but it’s actually very straightforward as long as you just follow a few simple rules – or a lot of complicated rules, if that’s what she prefers.

* All right, I made that last one up. I make a lot of stuff up, here. But you should try it, I mean you never know, right? And there are never any good movies around, just after Christmas, so it’s good to find alternative ways of entertaining yourselves.

While humble subbies washed her socks

It’s the eve of Christmas Eve and it’s all beginning to look a lot like Christmas. In my SO’s household, today’s wrapping day, so she’s busying herself with tape and sparkly ribbon, and soon I’ll be hog-tied under the tree, garlanded with holly and… well, just holly, really, lots of it, all ready to be mocked and abused by her and her guests on the big day. I just hope that if they play ‘pin the tail on the loser’ again, they do it before they’ve had quite so much to drink this year, as last time many of the pins ended up in completely the wrong place! It gave everyone a good laugh, though, and I suppose that’s the main thing. There’s a lot of laughter in the house on Christmas Day and occasionally some tears too… it’s a very special time.

How silly of her not to realise that the solution to her problems is right there in the room with her, even as she speaks. In the chest of drawers, there: third drawer down at the back. You could even plug it in for her, so it has plenty of battery.

He likes to give himself a bit of Christmas cheer by imagining that it’s a stable he’s shivering in and that tin bath in which he’ll be plunging a few days later is a manger. No gold, frankincense or myrrh but she did once put a goat in with him.

She’s generous with her gifts: it’s not just the quantity but she also has a knack for choosing something that is just what he least wanted.

Let’s hope she’;s not disappointed. She’s suffered a lot of disappointment in her marriage, poor thing.

That wooden doll on the table is actually a large nutcracker. One of my SO’s girlfriends got her one just like it, one year, and she spent most of the day playing with it obsessively. One of our more memorable Christmasses.

Try to look pleased, even though it’s what she gets you every Christmas or birthday. She’s not thoughtless or anything, mind you: she does think quite a lot about what present you might like. She just doesn’t care.

I’ll take this opportunity to wish all my male readers a miserable, frustrating and humiliating Christmas. I hope you all get what you deserve.

A turn for the better

Turning points! The 45th installment in a series of… oh, I don’t know. How hard and for how long can a dead horse be flogged? And why would anyone want to, when there are live males who are still, laughably, legally considered ‘humans’ to be flogged instead?

She’ll decide

Best to get these things right, you’ll find.

Modern best practice in dentistry holds that pain isn’t something to be avoided at all costs, rather something to be managed and they’re experts at that.

Make sure you get the special soap she bought for the purpose; it’s a lot more astringent than anything she’d ever wash with.

A meaningful job supporting others is its own reward.

The lovely Victoria from Cruella, of course, with the obligatory reminder that you can download magazines featuring her, other beautiful ladies and a lot of males with thinning lanky hair and dodgy 1980s moustaches – including this (magazine, not moustache), the cover photo of which is from a simply magnificent set.

Come on now: have you ever heard Janice’s husband complain? About anything? Or any of the other males in Janice’s household, for that matter? Well, then.

She welcomes feedback from male participants too, of course: on their knees and using their tongues, ideally.

They also serve, who only wait and wait…

In other respects, the two are very similar – the tubes are almost exactly the same size, for instance. Also, my SO likes to grab hold of what’s below the bottom of the tube and twist sharply.

Genital burns can be quite tricky to deal with. I actually help out, by volunteering (OK, ‘Someone’ volunteers me) once a month to let our local female first responders practice treating nasty burns to my penis and balls. I like to feel I’m (OK, She’s) giving something back.

He certainly doesn’t – it was touch and go last time. But that’s his thing, so he keeps making the bookings.

I always think thanks are reward enough. Or mockery and contempt, as I enjoy those too.

You might imagine it’s hard to survive seven gunshots, but with careful aim you should survive long enough to make it worthwhile for her.

It’s not a rhetorical question, as so many questions in the captions here are. The delightfully unsmiling Ms Venten does genuinely want to know what you think, so she can decide whether your opinions as well as your behaviour need to be sorted out.

…and some of them lived happily ever after

More fairy tales.

Latest upate in the ‘spam filter unduly limiting genuine (if perverted and despicable) commenters’ saga. The spammers seem to have penetrated the updated widget thingy and I’m getting a lot of spammy comments – worst of both worlds, as I know real commenters are still sometimes blocked but now the bad guys (as opposed to the very naughty boys) are getting through. I’m just deleting manually for now but I might have to tighten the settings again. As ever, if you get blocked just request access and check back in a day or so. In case I do have to tighten the settings, I’d suggest avoiding mentioning the names of any cryptocurrencies, casinos or phrases such as ‘make money fast’ in comments*. Keep discussion on more wholesome topics like slavery, castration, piss-drinking and torture, OK?

Right… on with the fairy tales.

* Yeah, I delete all the crypto spam. It occurs to me that, since the majority of my readership is male, some of you might be very stupid indeed and feel aggrieved that in doing so, I am depriving you of the opportunity to see potentially valuable financial advice. After all, there can be few more dependable tips than those posted by a random stranger based in Russia, in the comments on a fetish porn blog. I can only suggest (and I should warn you that this does not constitute professional financial advice) that you’d do better handing over all your money to almost any random findomme. If you’re more of a long-term investor, consider signing up to a blackmail contract and suppplying her with the photos to enforce it, too. Investing in Princess Perfect’s shoe and handbag collection, or her holidays with Ibiza with her boyfriend and bf, will at least produce a certain and known return, unlike crypto, and probably one of the same expected value.