caption – Page 138 – Contemplating the divine

So here we go… Servitor’s on holiday, having a lovely time by the side of the pool, scrubbing away at the mould that grow on the tiles, before a great night out clubbing, tied up with a spreader gag by the queue for the ladies’ loos.

So in the meantime, here are some robotically programmed captions – three a day every day, without comment. Usually written long ago, but never before published. Probably for a reason, to be honest.

Just like last year.

Feel free to make comments, but be aware I will not respond until September. Abusive comments from ladies particularly welcome, as ever. It always amazes me when that happens – I don’t even have to pay for it!

Here we go.

Leaving – on a jet plane

But I do know when I’ll be back again. 1st September. But in the meantime, just like last year, there will be extra bumper posts – three new captioned pictures a day, without commentary or anything else.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I don’t care! I’ll be on holiday, see?

And now, for something holiday themed…

Don’t worry, some of the staff in economy dress like this too. Andre, for example, and Philippe. I’ve heard they’re very nice.

Did you ever have one of those dreams about being naked? You know, you dream you’re naked in the office or somewhere like that, and everyone’s laughing at you, and it’s all over the newspapers, so you lose your job and to try to forget the pain you start a lighthearted femdom blog called Contemplating the Divine, and… oh, hang on.

Actually I can’t think of anywhere I’d feel more secure during turbulence.

No, I’m good. I had one before we left.

There are some very strange sexual fetishes out there. Don’t you think?

All your praises they shall ring if it be your will … to let me sing

Erm… sorry, was I supposed to be typing something down here?

Well it matters to the bug. Still, I suppose it’s quite low down in the grand scheme of things. No point paying attention to the feelings of worms or cockroaches, is there?

Yes. How awful it must be for guys with huge cocks, who are into SPH, did you ever think of that? Poor souls…

And I’ll be thinking about her (Lady Sophia Black, ladies and gentlemen!)

The nickname’s a bit unfair. It’s not his fault his breath smells of piss.

Married, with consequences

Married couples should talk about their finances. Too few do – but it can save a lot of pain later on.

Than you Susan. (braces)

I hope she doesn’t give in to peer pressure. When she decides to have you castrated it should be because that’s what she wants to do. No other considerations should come into it.

Nasty man with big smelly feet. Really smelly feet. I can’t understand what she sees in him.

Those surveys… I think all they do is make women feel unsatisfied. And I should know.

Active-aggressive behaviour

Actually, I think her levels of married bliss have never been higher.

Have you noticed their expressions? I don’t think they’re going to argue about this. Sometimes couples already really know what needs to be done – the role of the external expert is just to help them open up about it to each other.

He does still participate in rapes from time to time, though. Just in a different role.

Valuable protein.

That kind of bitchy behaviour is quite unusual in OWK, actually. Generally, the ladies work within a supportive and positive team culture. It’s about mutual respect in the workplace, basically.

Don’t be ashamed to cry

I think I’d never worry about anything if I had Mistress Chrissie looking out for me.

Tough decision. She doesn’t like lies. But then, she’s not going to be that pleased about the truth on this occasion, either.

Why does this happen to me every single time?

Sometimes you have to suffer for her art.

Does that make you feel stressed? No? Are you sure?

She’ll probably want a pay rise too.

Maternalistic society

Oh, Gigi Allens is so lovely.

Hey, it’s a free country. Well, except for the slavery, obviously.

She does respect your opinion – but only when it is the same as hers. That seems fair.

Yes, you’re right, it is Jean Bardot. Well spotted.

Remember: you can’t be humiliated if you have no self respect to begin with.

As if it wasn’t bad enough having to sit through a 9-hour flight on a well-caned bottom.

Turning…back again

Ages since I did one of these. I am afraid the muse just doesn’t strike me quite as often as she used to.

Turning points! Captioned images of situations that are not femdom! But might be.. do you see?

Oh, just click on ‘turning points’ in the side menu bar thing there if you don’t understand. Or just look at the pictures of pretty ladies and masturbate anyway. Doesn’t bother me!

Untruth or consequences

So, what did you do in London, my mother asks me as I walk in.

Paid someone to tie me up, beat me and piss on me. I think.

Oh – nothing much, I reply. Just saw some friends.

You smell nice. Have you just washed your hair?

Well yes, actually. Rather thoroughly.