caption – Page 138 – Contemplating the divine

Hit me with your rhythm stick

Hit me slowly, hit me quick! Nothing to do with female domination, but still great.

The following items may have more to do with female domination.

Actually, many women find the sight of heavy whip marks on a man’s thighs rather exciting.

Very thoughtful.

That’s a relief. Because there are so many of hers you have to remember now, after all.

Fortunately, boys are out of season at the moment. At least, I think they are. Hang on, let’s check.

I find it’s easiest to carry one anyway, just in case it’s wanted.

It seems that Google has changed its image search alogorithm, so it doesn’t show pornographic pictures in response to most searches. Unless there’s a clear request for porn.

But “Contemplating the Divine” brings up lots of my captions…

…which can only mean Google doesn’t think my blog’s sexy!

Waaaah!

(Hurt sniffle)

I shall carry on, regardless. As my SO likes to say, it’s a good thing I’m so stupid or I’d realise how unattractive I am.

Ms Haberman. Lexx. Try it if you haven’t.

It’s taken them almost four hours to get from her house in town. Hope he’s enjoying it.

Actually, the divorce was rather acrimonious. But I’m sure she won’t want to bring up all those old rows now. Not all at once.

Well, yes, I suppose she could shift it to another day, or quickly pull you off before you go out. But it’s just such a fuss, don’t you think? Easier all round just to leave it this month. I’m sure you won’t miss it – Marie’s a super cook!

It’s good when people can find personal satisfaction in their professional lives. In my job, for example, I’m completely useless and I’m always getting shouted at by people, some of whom are women. Makes it all worthwhile.

Out with the old, in with the new

New year, new…well, more…of the same sort of really…captioned images of female domination!

Obviously.

Sigh. Back to it.

My Significant Other reckons some people over-complicate chastity play. You lock someone up – he’s in chastity. Job done, and you can get on with your life.

Actually, I think one of them has a Girl Guides first aid qualification.

The problem being, of course, that Madame Sarka likes the cooked meat arranged in a gentle curve. And she’s not as lenient.

Independent thought is over-rated. Just take the pill.

It’s best not to worry too much about what people think of you, I find.

New Year resolutions

To mark the passing of the old year, and the beginning of the new, I decided to ask all of the ladies who regularly appear on Contemplating the Divine to share their New Year resolutions with our ‘readers’.

Most of them just told me to fuck off and die, of course, but here are the contributions from those who did not. Oh – and believe me, when these ladies resolve to do something, it does get done.

Apparently I’m going to have some New Year resolutions too, but She hasn’t told me what they are yet. Quite exciting!

,,,and last but always first in my heart…

All about Eve

New Year’s Eve, that is.

My very best wishes to all my female readers, and let’s hope the new year brings nothing but misery, humiliation, pain and degradation to the others. That way, everyone’s happy.

Don’t miss tomorrow’s extra, bumper, first-of-2013 edition of Contemplating the Divine! It’s all about resolve…

In the bleak midwinter

It’s Christmas! Get on with your chores!

The divine Ms Haberman. Could you possibly want anything else for Christmas? Could you? Oh. Well, you can’t.

Not that “we” get much say in the matter.

OK, rather a bleak caption for Christmas I suppose… but remember – it’s Christmas for him, too. He just doesn’t know it.

You’ll have to apologise to your wife when you next see her, for suspecting her of such an evil plan. Maybe in sign language.

I have no idea who that is, but I hate him with a burning passionate envy that I can barely express. Ahem.

The Rights of Man

They’re somewhat limited, around here, you’ll find. But we like it that way.

Well, you’ll find anyway, as they’re due round for a drink later.

Hmmm. Looks to me like one person’s doing all the work in this relationship.

And she’s got plenty of time to think of some too – she’s not due back until Tuesday.

Should never have lent her that copy of 50 Shades…

Maybe she can share her literary passions with him when they’re married.

Faith, hope and chastity

And the best of these is hope.
SORRY! Sorry. I mean chastity. Ma’am.

Don’t it always seem to go, that you don’t know what you’ve got ’til it’s gone?

Thank goodness she’s not cross.

Actually, most of the change happened in the first two weeks.

She was keen to explore his ballbusting fantasies too.

Wise husbands know when it’s best not to argue, just to curtsey and get on with the ironing.

Scream nicely, and she might

Oh… and there’s a little extra at the bottom of today’s post. Just a little something.

A day to remember… and then a day you will try desperately to forget.

It’s not as if your parents haven’t seen you cry before, anyway.

I think it’s every boy’s dream. To grow up to do the laundry for a real fighter pilot…

Well…someone who hasn’t paid, for a start.

Gone but not forgotten.

Extra extra!

Now, for those of you who have been sufficently dedicated to ‘read’ down this far, a little treat. Here’s a site I discovered yesterday and I can’t understand why I have never come across it (fnar fnar) before, It’s British, brutal and – well, like Cruella, really. And I do. Like Cruella, I mean.

http://thebritishinstitution.com

Pay site, and the preview pics are a bit small, but there are over 100 decent-quality (very short!) preview vids to watch.

I think it’s great. I don’t normally post links – I leave that to the mighty Paltego – but this site just doesn’t seem sufficiently well known.

Obviously, I don’t have any connection with this site. I don’t have any connection with anything, really.

Here are a few of the (too small!) preview photos:

Off you go, now. Don’t keep the Warden waiting.

Caned to…

(So many possibilities)

…tears?
…perfection?
…amuse her friend?
…help him do a better job of the ironing?
…the sound of The Best of Abba, Vol 2?
…try out a new stroke?
…obedience?
…the sound of girlish laughter?

You decide (if You’re of the superior sex, obviously).

On with the show:

No rush. Take your time. She can even leave you there all night, if you like, and finish off tomorrow.

Well, obviously if you’re going out to dinner, you’ll be swallowing. Really – this doesn’t sound so bad at all, does it?

I used to pay for humiliation sessions, but now what I do instead is just ask ladies I fancy whether they’d like to go out for a drink with me. It’s a lot cheaper.

Whatever you say, I think she’s going to suggest you wear something a bit skimpier, you know.

I’m sure you can think of a good reason between now and tomorrow’s appointment at the clinic.

Category: caption