Category: caption

Giving until it hurts

I donate all my spare money to the retired dominatrices’ malevolent fund. It doesn’t make me feel any better about myself, but it saves all that time that I used to waste buying stuff, eating out or going on holiday.

I have a very active fantasy life, as you can tell. Sometimes it does go too far, though.  I mean, really…men’s lib??  Come on Servitor…let’s try to keep the blog reasonably grounded in reality.


Yes, I’ve never had any problem with female authority figures.  My difficulty arises when we have 19 year-old female interns around the office.  They’re just not used to giving orders or having someone else get their coffee.  But over the course of a six week internship, they usually get the idea.

To cut a long story short: she said so, he protested, she insisted, he tearfully agreed and now it’s one of their biggest sellers.  So he can afford to give her even more tribute.  Funny how things work out.

That doesn’t mean she would always give you a handjob, of course. 

…and why it will continue to happen.





And all I do is kiss you through the bars of a cage

… well I would if you put your boot a little closer, anyway.


 

About that which we cannot speak, we must remain silent.
Dommes.. they’re all about rules.
 This is the delightful Domina Liza.  I think I’d be happy in her cage forever, if I could see her dressed in green, setting off that stunning auburn hair, from time to time.
Regrets? He’s had a few.  And he’ll have plenty of time for a few more.




Well, he does need a new companion. Some might say the adventures would be a little dull, if he’s never allowed out.  But I’d watch it.
If you know what this caption is about, you might also enjoy this.  Or you might not.




What do you mean, this one doesn’t fit today’s ‘cage’ theme?  Of course it does.  The cage isn’t actually in the picture, because it hasn’t been delivered yet.  But it’ll be ready for you when you get back from honeymoon.




Marriage guidance

Honesty is so important in a mariage. I told my wife on our wedding night that I wanted her to be completely honest and open, if my performance in bed wasn’t satisfying her, and the very next day she told the hotel staff and a couple of guys we met in a bar all about it.  And since then, she’s told all her friends, all my friends, my co-workers and quite a lot of random strangers.  So much better for these things to be out in the open, don’t you think?


Oh… that Sonia.  Oh dear.







We can’t always get what we want. She can, but we can’t.









I guess you could always renegotiate if it isn’t working out for one or other of you.


She’s got a lot of pain for Doug to work through.




You’ve got me pretty deep baby

I can’t figure out your watery love

She can help you deal with feelings of guilt, too.


I’ve never seen the point of masturbation gloves, to be quite honest.  I mean why buy a special item of clothing that you’re almost never going to wear?

You could try to bluff your way out. Or grovel.  I think I’d go with grovel… but that’s just me.

Nice to have something to think about, to take your mind off how much it’s going to fucking hurt.

Always consensual. It’s rule number 1.  Well, in my relationship it’s actually rule number 286, but you know what I mean.

The agony and the ecstacy

Well, she seems very nice. Many dommes would be quite angry in such a situation.  Up you get.

She needs the money to get into the scene, that’s all.  Don’t worry – she’s genuinely turned on by fat middle-aged men rubbing against her like that.  That’s why she does it.

She owns a plumber too, which could come in handy if she decides to install you as a toilet slave.
I think Emily will be able to tell exactly how very, very sorry you are in just a short while.


Yes, I rather suspect she does.


It’s all so calculating (she’s got a calculator)

You say you’ll never know him, he’s an unnatural man

It’s not the size anyway, it’s what you do with it.  And how many times.

He can say no, of course. As many times as he likes, actually.
She gets through boyfriends quite quickly, I’ve heard.  Must be a bit fickle, I suppose.  Shame, ‘cos she’s cute.

Looks good on her, don’t you think?  Better than on the donors, I expect.

Actually, there are lots of things they don’t approve of men doing. Good job you’ve got her to protect you.

Adult content warning

Persons proceeding past this point will encounter no genuinely adult content whatsoever, merely juvenile humour and sexual innuendo written by someone with the emotional intelligence of a teenager. You have been warned.

Let’s hope he enjoyed wishes 1 and 2.


Not very politically correct. Perhaps I need to be politically corrected.

Don’t worry, she’ll give him a 10% discount for all those extra hours.

These gender roles are essentially all social constructs anyway.  Why should we have to conform to a role because of what sex we are?  What if I choose not to do the housework, hmm? Well… I get tied across a chair and thrashed, obviously. But I could if I wanted to.. and didn’t mind the beating. That’s the point.






Self-harming is such a waste.  When there are people out there who’d love to do it for you.

Humbled in her presence

Of course, for her it’ll be very different from having sex with you.  Longer… more enjoyable…and more frequent too.



 

Don’t worry – it’ll be very special for both of you, I am sure.

And weekly confession too.

Sometimes men need a little encouragement to make the right choice of their own free will.

She has a point, you know.  I’d say more, but I’ve a leash to fetch.
The wonderful, stern Miss Cassie Hunter, the Hunteress, of course – who rather thrillingly could surely not give a rats arse about this blog one way or the other. Mmm.. contempt play.

Simply divine, darling

These things happen.  So do canings.

Pnk’s nice.  It’s a bit showy but manhide isn’t cheap, so why not flaunt it?

You have to hold the toungue very still while you do it, basically.  And of course, you can’t really use a gag, so you have to not mind screaming.  Fortunately, she doesn’t.

Works for me.

It’s not the actual intercourse, it’s the cuddle afterwards, I find.






Oh, I hope there’ll be jellyfish

The servitor who uploads material to this blog will be on an undeserved holiday for the next few weeks.  Normally awful service will be maintained, through the magic of ‘scheduling’ and comments – especially abusive ones – remain as welcome as ever, but will not be responded to (so the grovelling apologies must wait).


The jellyfish thing? Oh yeah. This.

You know, I heard once that feeling sad and lonely is just your body’s way of telling you what an unpleasant person you are to be with?  Makes a lot of sense.

I’m slowly working my way into her affections, I reckon.

Mmmpphhh grtrrth.

Of course, they’ll need to use something else to achieve the burning sensation.  Hot coals, maybe? They’re very creative.

 

Hope there’s some beer for me.