Month: May 2026

Weak, pliant, ridiculous…

Aren’t we, though? Leopold Sacher Masoch said that and he was right about a lot of things.

Sorry – did you just ask about facial recognition? Do you really think she wants to bend down and… oh, that’s just perverted. We don’t want that sort of thing round here, thank you very much.
Don’t worry, she makes sure he sheds the excess pounds after the tournament. She has a special dietary regime called ‘chained up with no food’. It works a treat.
All those pretty dresses and they just want to wear jeans? Oh well, a lap is a lap, when you’re lying across it, I suppose.
They’re planning a big party at the weekend – over thirty guests. They dropped round to ask if she minded, and of course she said it was absolutely fine. Should be a fun evening.
She’s never had a problem motivating her students; in fact it’s the part of the job she enojoys the most.
My SO’s the same… even if it causes her mild discomfort, there are no lengths she won’t go to to ensure that any lessons I need to learn are soundly beaten in. So touching… it makes me cry.

Gracious, devilish, mythical ladies

Some women are very hard to satisfy. Others impossible. It’s about 50/50 between the two, in my experience.
Don’t worry, she’ll look after you and provide for all your needs.
You may kiss the floor a respectful distance away from the bride.
Don’t be too disappointed if his humiliation ideas are a bit basic – he’s new to this. And male, so sophistication isn’t really to be expected.
She is nothing if not consistent. Except when she decides on a whim to be capricious.
He’s right about one thing: it will be an experience.

Magical unrealism

More tales of fairies and witches and tingly sparkly stuff like that, joyously to celebrate that now is – once again – the month of maying and the sun is shining brightly through the tiny grill high up on the wall opposite, illuminating a little square far above my head, which I can just see if I twist my head around as far as the iron collar will let me. Sunshine just makes everything better, doesn’t it? Which is probably why dungeons don’t traditionally have a lot of it.

She uses a slipper on him occasionally, just for old times’ sake.
Don’t worry, you’ll get a chance to plead your case. In fact, you’ll be doing a lot of pleading.
Lessons learned and all ready to be turned back, then! Now… where did she go…?
She’s behind you!
Wouldn’t you think she’s the girl, the girl who has everything? Wish she could be part of my world.
What big flensing blades you have, Grandma! Can I use one?

The sound of one hand slapping

I was a bit nervous when my own dear SO first suggested we make our relationship public with a public slapping but in the event, no one seemed to be shocked and in fact quite a few other people in the pub had a go once she’d finished. It just goes to show that things sometimes aren’t as bad as you imagine.
The trouble with ‘being ignored while Mistress sleeps’ sessions is that they can get quite expensive at standard hourly rates if she sleeps through her alarm.
It should – and will – be grateful she pays it so much attention.
Apparently she does have a punch-bag, although I can’t see one in this picture… maybe it’s hanging behind the camera.
She believes that almost any problems can be solved, through the rigorous application of science.
So much easier in these days of streaming services… I remember having to buy face-slapping compilations on CD, and by chance there always seemed to be a giggling pair of young women on the cash desk – often with strong arms and hard palms – when I went to pay.