If wishes were ponyboys

Once again, this blog takes a little break from its usual commitment to hard-core realism to present some fairy tales. Pretty Grimm, I know, but it’s all I’ve got today.

Don’t worry: if she smashes the door, he has alternative accommodation options. She bought a birdcage, before she had the doll’s house furniture idea.
Even tyrannical despots enjoy ‘bring your daughter to work day’.
Frustrate you? Oh, the poor chap. I wonder how long he’ll be left in that condition?
King Jorral’s queen interpreted the promise as meaning that she would continue to sleep in a queen’s bed, and she was absolutely right about that.
Now she’s learning witchcraft, she’s got some plans for Mr Granger, too.
It’s going to be quite odd for the people running heaven when, in about 970 years, the first post-Internet cohorts of mortals start to arrive. ‘Where are all the men?’, they might ask. Although obviously they’re not allowed actually to say the answer.

Careless talk

Costs… quite a lot. If you want her to pretend to care, that’ll be extra, too.

Well, that’s rather a dismissive attitude! What a haughty young miss! You know, I think you should say something , you really should. My suggestion would be “Yes Ma’am” but, y’know: you do you.
The nurses have discovered that really vigorous, two-fisted rectal examinations that leave the patient gasping and howling for mercy, can actually have useful therapeutic effects – senior staff nurse Perkins swears she always feels utterly relaxed after a really good one, especially if enjoyed with friends.
My SO always says the first hour’s just for warming up – unless it’s under the cold shower or in the ice bath, obviously.
I think they’re beginning to realise just what it is they can do to a man. Let’s hope that causes them to rethink their attitudes.
Face facts: it’s the only costume you’ve got that isn’t pink.
Well, if as a result they help him see the error of his ways, I suppose it might have been worth it. That and all the money they’re blackmailing him for, I mean.

Amorous anxiety

Passionate love should always come with a twinge of gut-wrenching fear.

Sometimes it’s best just to spend a whole session practising the one movement – exactly the same punch, on exactly the same spot – over and over again. Obviously, you’ll need not to move, but don’t worry if you find that difficult – she has some things to help you stay firmly fixed in the ideal position until she’s finished.
My SO can be a bit forgetful, too. Can you believe it, three times now gone home leaving me me tied up in a gay club and completely forgotten about me until the next day? Of course, it’s not her fault: it’s mine. That’s a basic principle of our marriage.
Oh, I expect she’s got nothing to worry about.
No one can humiliate you, unless you humiliate yourself, as a wise woman once told me.
Men who enjoy looking at women in tight outfits should try wearing something restrictive permanently.

Lovely Cruella shoot. Go buy the original magazines!

Don’t worry about something bad happening to you in the night, as you hang there all alone. I’m sure there’s nothing out there that’s half as terrifying as Gillian.
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