Stories and pictures themed around female domination and male subjugation and servitude. Unsuitable for children, for alpha males, for hard-core practitioners with an interest in the politics of bdsm and the mechanics of complicated rope work. Of interest to perverts like me, basically.
I’m crashing cymbals in outer space
More science fiction: tales of terror, flesh-eating alien monsters, savage alternative realities and more… anything to relieve the moronic awfulness of this so-called ‘real world’.
You might protest that it’s only been a few weeks since the last science fiction special. And, unusually, assuming you’re a male, you’d be right. But (1) no one cares about your opinion, loser and (2) it’s Mistress Toyah’s birthday and that’s her lyric I’m using as a title so there you go. She wants to be free. I don’t.
Don’t worry, they’re very careful. They’ve even got a sign above the sink, warning people not to pour anything away that might acceidentally cause the destruction of the patriarchal order, so it’s all good.
I’ve heard Emilybots’ programming does not permit them to tie up or spank their owners, nor to order them around. Or at least ‘not yet’ so maybe there’s an update due? I do wish they wouldn’t release unfinished products like that.
Sometimes it’s best just to let women work their anger out, rather than apologising straight away.
Then you can get straight to work building that new society – hard work, but you’ll soon learn how to find joy in even the most backbreaking toil, knowing that it’s in service to a good cause.
Females are amazing… nurturing new life inside themselves. We males can only hope to be lucky enough to be accorded a minor role in that mysterious and beautiful process.
I quite liked Battlestar Galactica but there were some long, boring sequences featuring space battles and suchlike in which Ms Helfer did not appear, that I thought reflected poor judgement on the writers’ part. Fortunately, then the dominatrix movie happened, my brain melted down, and after that all previous memories are a bit hazy (and frankly, not much missed).
10 thoughts on “I’m crashing cymbals in outer space”
My wife came up with an effective means of dissolving testicles many years ago, with no risk to anyone important.
The technique involves the regular deployment of a leather tailed flogger. It is admittedly a little strenuous in this pampered age, although it can be self-administered and verbally controlled, as she has often proven.
It has been shown to be particularly effective for me. As she is right handed and I am left handed the impact has much more often been on my left testicle. As a consequence, I now do a very effective Adolf impression.
That does sound effective – and lots of fun for almost everyone involved. Everyone who matters, anyway.
Good to hear about the Adolf impression. Perhaps in time you’ll do a realistic Joseph Goebbels too.
Best wishes
S
PS: For any humourless internet types out there (Mr M, you’re not in this category) – there is a long and grand tradition in both British and American humour of mocking the N*zis. Think of ‘Allo Allo – no, no, not just the sexy French waitresses and resistence fighter! Look, what about Mel Brooks and the Producers? I mean, that movie is… what do you mean, you only watch the bit with high-kicking n*zi girls in boots? Oh for goodness sake.
Painlessly dissolving testicles is all very futuristic. However, I suspect many female supremacists will always prefer traditional methods of emasculation, despite such advances.
Apparently there’s something psychologically satisfying (for the castratrix, that is) about the cord, knife or clamp. Or two half bricks.
Sometimes the old-fashioned methods are best, PP. My SO still considers a good bamboo carpet-beater much more effective in getting the house to the peak of cleanliness she demands, than any new-fangled gizmos and sprays.
Incidentally, I did ask one of the lady scientists in the image whether the process of dissolution is in fact painless but she just giggled and said they were busy conducting tests on that – in fact she and some of the other lab ladies had a live test scheduled for that very evening, with a couple of lads who’d volunteered to be test subjects in lieu of a prison sentence. I was going to ask for more details but she said she had to go out and get the sparkling wine and nibbles for the evening. Anyway, sounds like they’re on the case so nothing to worry about.
Luckily testicles are covered in skin, so while great care is warranted, the substance from the caption doesn’t pose a danger under normal circumstances.
Something about the female liver and renal system versus the male, where in a man it gets right into the bloodstream and down the testicular artery? On your blog we are always discovering heretofore unknown differences in physiology between the sexes.
I just hope I would have a chance to learn of the prophylaxis before accidentally taking the ‘cure’!
I know, it’s educational, isn’t it? I won’t claim to be an expert on women’s physiology, though, as I’m rarely allowed to see any of it. I’m just guessing here, as I am about a lot of stuff. Actual sex, for instance.
But that’s the thing about science, isn’t it? The importance of trial and error. Or trial, error and consequences for the lab boys in a female-led research institute.
I should note, though, that this blog takes no responsibility for any consequences of attempting to carry out the activities described herein. Or for any regret felt at not attempting them.
This blog transition seems like quite the journey! It’s good to know all the content is still accessible, even if the links are a bit messy. The mention of dissolving testicles is… unexpected, to say the least. The humor here is definitely niche, but I can see how it might appeal to some. The Adolf impression bit is a bold choice—do you think it adds to the humor or risks alienating readers? Also, the mix of technical blog updates with such personal anecdotes is intriguing. How do you balance these two elements without losing your audience? I’m curious, do you think this style of writing helps build a stronger connection with your readers, or does it risk being too polarizing?
So… I think this is a spam comment but one that uses AI to be more relevant to the subject matter of the blog than most such. If I’m wrong, let me know.
The whole “I’m just here offering some general comments on your blog” theme and style is exactly the style of hundreds of spam comments I get that are generally picked up automatically and binned. They usually say things like “Great post, but have you considered using a spell-checker?” or “I thought this started well but you didn’t really land your main points” and similar. They are obviously auto-generated.
But this comment references the other comments above. And then chattily remarks on them in an AI-ish tone, if you know what I mean.
Hmmm…. as I said.
So… not deleting for the moment. But, VK, you do have to convince me that you are human (or as close to that as a male can get, at a minimum). And that I’m not talking to an AI.
If you are not an AI, I apologise (but then this blog’s readers generally don’t mind being insulted). If you are an AI then this is a vision of a new kind of hell in which spam comments are somewhat relevant and therefore harder to weed out… eeek!
My wife came up with an effective means of dissolving testicles many years ago, with no risk to anyone important.
The technique involves the regular deployment of a leather tailed flogger. It is admittedly a little strenuous in this pampered age, although it can be self-administered and verbally controlled, as she has often proven.
It has been shown to be particularly effective for me. As she is right handed and I am left handed the impact has much more often been on my left testicle. As a consequence, I now do a very effective Adolf impression.
Don’t mention the waaaaaaah…….
Mr M
That does sound effective – and lots of fun for almost everyone involved. Everyone who matters, anyway.
Good to hear about the Adolf impression. Perhaps in time you’ll do a realistic Joseph Goebbels too.
Best wishes
S
PS: For any humourless internet types out there (Mr M, you’re not in this category) – there is a long and grand tradition in both British and American humour of mocking the N*zis. Think of ‘Allo Allo – no, no, not just the sexy French waitresses and resistence fighter! Look, what about Mel Brooks and the Producers? I mean, that movie is… what do you mean, you only watch the bit with high-kicking n*zi girls in boots? Oh for goodness sake.
Painlessly dissolving testicles is all very futuristic. However, I suspect many female supremacists will always prefer traditional methods of emasculation, despite such advances.
Apparently there’s something psychologically satisfying (for the castratrix, that is) about the cord, knife or clamp. Or two half bricks.
Sometimes the old-fashioned methods are best, PP. My SO still considers a good bamboo carpet-beater much more effective in getting the house to the peak of cleanliness she demands, than any new-fangled gizmos and sprays.
Incidentally, I did ask one of the lady scientists in the image whether the process of dissolution is in fact painless but she just giggled and said they were busy conducting tests on that – in fact she and some of the other lab ladies had a live test scheduled for that very evening, with a couple of lads who’d volunteered to be test subjects in lieu of a prison sentence. I was going to ask for more details but she said she had to go out and get the sparkling wine and nibbles for the evening. Anyway, sounds like they’re on the case so nothing to worry about.
Best wishes
S
Luckily testicles are covered in skin, so while great care is warranted, the substance from the caption doesn’t pose a danger under normal circumstances.
Sure. As long as you never drink any water.
But they do say it can be made safe by being filtered through a woman’s body.
Best wishes
S
Something about the female liver and renal system versus the male, where in a man it gets right into the bloodstream and down the testicular artery? On your blog we are always discovering heretofore unknown differences in physiology between the sexes.
I just hope I would have a chance to learn of the prophylaxis before accidentally taking the ‘cure’!
I know, it’s educational, isn’t it? I won’t claim to be an expert on women’s physiology, though, as I’m rarely allowed to see any of it. I’m just guessing here, as I am about a lot of stuff. Actual sex, for instance.
But that’s the thing about science, isn’t it? The importance of trial and error. Or trial, error and consequences for the lab boys in a female-led research institute.
I should note, though, that this blog takes no responsibility for any consequences of attempting to carry out the activities described herein. Or for any regret felt at not attempting them.
Best wishes
S
This blog transition seems like quite the journey! It’s good to know all the content is still accessible, even if the links are a bit messy. The mention of dissolving testicles is… unexpected, to say the least. The humor here is definitely niche, but I can see how it might appeal to some. The Adolf impression bit is a bold choice—do you think it adds to the humor or risks alienating readers? Also, the mix of technical blog updates with such personal anecdotes is intriguing. How do you balance these two elements without losing your audience? I’m curious, do you think this style of writing helps build a stronger connection with your readers, or does it risk being too polarizing?
Hmmm….
So… I think this is a spam comment but one that uses AI to be more relevant to the subject matter of the blog than most such. If I’m wrong, let me know.
The whole “I’m just here offering some general comments on your blog” theme and style is exactly the style of hundreds of spam comments I get that are generally picked up automatically and binned. They usually say things like “Great post, but have you considered using a spell-checker?” or “I thought this started well but you didn’t really land your main points” and similar. They are obviously auto-generated.
But this comment references the other comments above. And then chattily remarks on them in an AI-ish tone, if you know what I mean.
Hmmm…. as I said.
So… not deleting for the moment. But, VK, you do have to convince me that you are human (or as close to that as a male can get, at a minimum). And that I’m not talking to an AI.
If you are not an AI, I apologise (but then this blog’s readers generally don’t mind being insulted). If you are an AI then this is a vision of a new kind of hell in which spam comments are somewhat relevant and therefore harder to weed out… eeek!
Best wishes (maybe)
S