Just a little tale, slightly too long to fit as a caption.
Yes, of course, I knew we’d met before – never forget a face! And actually, I recognised that look of startled terror when you saw me arrive; I always get that when I run into a former inmate. But I was thrown by your not having anything branded onto your forehead… I suppose they removed it when your appeal was upheld and you were released, right? They did a good job, I can only just now see the faint scars now I know what to look for.
Well well. I do remember you. Prisoner R552… erm… R5526…?
817! That’s right. You know, we guards were all pleased when you were found not guilty. You never really struck me as the rapist type. Still we all had to whip you and make you do all that hard labour naked and in chains, obviously, I mean: that’s the job. Nothing personal.
Err…a bit indelicate, maybe, but what, er, stage of your ‘re-education’ were you at when you were released?
Pre-op! Right. Excellent. Sorry, but it did seem worth asking, as we’re on a blind date. Wouldn’t want to get all the way through and then find nothing to… you know. I am straight, after all, not like most of my colleagues. If that’s not too forward.
Elephant in the room… go on – tell me the worst thing I ever did to you? Let’s get it out there.
Did I really? Oh dear. And what shock level did we have to reach before you licked it all off my boots?
OK, that’s not too bad. They go up to 20, you know. Very sensible of you not to try to hold out. Everyone always does lick it all up eventually. And swallow, obviously. Some think they can spit it out later but we don’t let them get away with that! It’s not a holiday camp, after all. But you know that.
Anyway, I’m sure the food here tastes a lot better. Shall we order?
But… as that was such a disappointingly short one (feels odd to be typing rather than hearing that phrase) there’ll be an extra post tomorrow, on a topical theme.
