Sexual inequality

Oh, those grabber machines… they can be such an exercise in frustration.
Their buy-one-get-one-free offers are pretty good, but they had to abandon their no-questions-asked policy on taking back damaged goods, as too many dommes were abusing it.
You’ve got to be careful with the wording of hard limit lists. For example, mine rules out blow torch play, but it turns out welding arcs are actually hotter! Oh well, live and learn.
It’s easy to tell them apart – his helmet reads ‘other gimp’.
It might all sound complicated but actually, it’s a lot easier to learn Czech than… well: refusing to learn Czech. You’ll see. Don’t worry about making grammatical and other mistakes at first: the ladies expect that; in fact they rather enjoy pointing out those little errors.
The trutch can be painful, but not usually quite as painful as lies.

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny

This blog’s all in favour of domestic tyranny, of course – despotism begins at home – but has mixed feelings about war. Nonetheless, today, as so often before, we pay tribute to those heroines who fought in a war they did not seek*, to overthrow a cruel, oppressive patriarchy and replace it with the cruel and oppressive matrarchy the good boys who read this blog fervently wish for.

* You might imagine that the female supremacist side started the war but you’d be wrong (male, are you? Yeah, that explains it. You’re probably wrong about a lot of things – don’t worry, there’s plenty of women who can set you right). They were no more responsible for the war than a wife wearily sighing “Oh darling, don’t make me whip you again!” is responsible for the consequences of your impertinence. The losing side in WWM had only themselves to blame, and if they didn’t take that opportunity to do so and apologise to their superiors, the survivors had plenty of time for that after the war.

Getting your unjust deserts

Or desserts, even, if you’re into messy food play (or toilet play, for that matter).

I’ve never disappointed a woman in bed. Sexually, I mean. I spend my life disappointing women in other ways, in other places, obviously.
Why would anyone look closely? Horrible male bottoms… we don’t pay dommes enough for thrashing away at them.
I’d hate to try hypnotherapy, as I have this deep-seated feeling of terror at the thought of losing control. I suppose that might sound odd – in the lifestyle I live with my SO, have I not already lost control, you might ask? Yes, I have, and I spend my life feeling terror – thank you for asking.
The two options are (1) handing them cash and fucking off or (2) handing them cash and not fucking off just yet, in case they need more cash, basically. Of course, they’re not your options.
Let’s hope she switches the light off, or you’re in for a sleepless night, I’m afraid. I don’t suppose you could reach the…? No, no I suppose not.
*** WORDPRESS READER WARNING ***
Our fact-checkers have red-flagged this claim as ‘Unsupported by evidence. Probable misinformation’. And they reckon the rest of the blog’s a load of old wank, too.

(The real thing: Mistress Eleise de Lacey)

No special Valentine’s Day theme today, you might ask? Well, you see, when you’re in a long-term relationship as I am, you don’t need a special day to show your love. Valentine’s Day is just another day as I see it, or rather, every day is Valentine’s Day.

That’s my take on it.

Unfortunately, my SO took a different view and expected a present. So we discussed it in our usual way and once we reached the part of the discussion where she takes the gag out of my mouth and reduces the tempo of whipping so that I can gasp out coherent words, I explained how for me, every day was Valentine’s Day. So now she expects a present every day. She says she’ll be giving me something every day too, to remember this conversation by. So that’s nice.

They do say love has no boundaries or limits and I’ve certainly discovered that to be the case, today and every day.

Fateful decisions

Fateful for you, that is. The decisions are hers alone.

I think there’s room for some negotiation here, where by ‘negotiation’ I mean abject and unconditional begging for her forgiveness and scurrying off to do exactly what she said.
It’s one of his domme’s favourite activities. The local pet supply shop does so well out of her, the owners sent her a Christmas card.
Ooh – sounds like she might be about to give you a second chance! Guess that cheesy chat-up line worked after all, huh?
‘Dress for success’, that’s her motto.
Next, I expect she’ll ask about what happens when you plug it into the electrical mains and turn the dial. They always do… those that don’t just try it for themselves without asking.
I’ve never understood guys who get sexual pleasure from tying up or gagging women. If she can’t speak, how can she order you about? Anyway, such men are nasty perves who enjoy hurting people, and there should be zero tolerance of that, so I’m sure they deserve whatever these two public-spirited ladies and their friends have planned.

Strictly controlled

It’s actually an important sign of how well a relationship is developing, when a couple can both be in the bathroom at the same time without embarassment. I can still remember the first time the woman who became my SO came into the bathroom to pee, while I was there. I wanted to leave, but I was much too firmly tied in position to go anywhere, and as the ring gag prevented me saying anything, I just had to lie there while she did her business – which I found quite distasteful at the time, but it was the first of many such intimate moments and nowadays it just seems routine.
But if you don’t, then there’s ‘fear of missing out’ so really you don’t have any easy options.
It takes a lot of control and self-discipline to be a ballerina, so laundry boy’s going to have to up his standards to meet theirs. Good of so many of them to make the effort to help help him see how he needs to improve, especially after a long hard rehearsal.
Ironically enough, she actually does believe that all men should be treated equally and with exactly the same degree of dignity.
Don’t worry: Sami won’t do anything unless her owner lets her.
My own subconscious often seeks out brutal punishment beatings, usually by making me behave in an “irritating” manner without any conscious intent to do so. Funny things, minds. Even male ones, which must be relatively simple.

Pleading hearts

Don’t worry if you’re not ‘man enough to take it’, that won’t bother her in the least.
If it gets too irritating, she could always turn it into one of those cults where everyone kills themselves. Or I suppose she could just stop reading their prayer-filled messages on social media… Anyway, she has options.
She’ll see the funny side eventually.
That’s the third time Mistress ‘forgot’ this month. She never used to be that forgetful. I do hope she’s all right.
If it’s really the nails that are bothering you, she could use screws? Or just industrial glue, I suppose, but that would be a lot less fun for her.
Or have a sissy-fight over it, with lots of shrieking and hair-pulling.

You know how it is with some girls. They seem to take the stuffing right out of you.

I mean to say, there is something about their personality that paralyses the vocal cords and reduces the contents of the brain to cauliflower.

P. G. Wodehouse, Right-Ho, Jeeves!

Yes, it’s more Downton Domination.

Under her tutelage

I’ll confess I don’t understand husbands who don’t do as they’re told. Do they have something better to do?
This could be the beginning of a beautiful obedience.
In my experience those situations are rare, although my SO has frequently expressed her profound regrets that I’m such a useless, annoying, unattractive and tedious piece of shit.
I think the idea that there might be a universe in which I have sex with someone like her calls the many-worlds explanation of quantum phenomena into serious doubt. I mean, Nazis winning WW2 sure, dinosaurs living on in Australia why not… but there have to be limits.
Hmm… not sure I’ve quite grasped the difference. Maybe try the first again?
Fortunately, she’s not run out of effort.

Simple obedience

Why make things complicated?

C’mon, don’t be selfish: work harder, Mila needs this orgasm.
She’s got a whole prison cell and interrogation routine worked out too.
Don’t worry: she’ll have to stop when she runs out of apples.
She has a very personal relationship with her deity. And she’s hoping for one with Sister Lucy, too.
You were probably just going to express your gratitude for how perfect everything is and check whether she has any criticisms you can take on board, right?
They come in various flavours, some of which go better with sweaty trainer than others.