Customer services


Yeah, this is FDproducts. What the fuck do you want?
What?  No, of course
we’re not going to exchange it. If it ripped when you tried to put it on, it’s
your own fault, isn’t it, you fucking moron? You were probably putting it on
wrong.

No, I do not want to hear how you put it on, you little
pervert.  My day’s going quite badly enough
without having to listen to a graphic description of some sweaty old balding guy trying to squeeze
himself into a latex French maid outfit.

What?  Consumer
rights? What fucking consumer rights?

Look, let’s get something straight, right?  You’re a submissive male, correct?
Right.  And what am I?  That’s right. I’m a woman.  And women are…

‘Goddesses’, yeah, OK. 
I was thinking of ‘the superior sex’ but that’ll do.  So does a sub talk to a goddess like that?

No he fucking does not – quite right.  So you can start speaking more respectfully,
you little shit.

Well yes, as a matter of fact I do think you should
apologise.  Down on your fucking knees!

And to show how sorry you are, I think we’ll have a
financial penalty.  Let’s see – what’s
the most expensive item on our web site… mahogany whipping bench with attachments.
Right – you’re buying three of those. 
Then maybe you can spend any money you have left paying someone to strap
you over one of them and beat the crap out of you.

Yes, we do take Amex.  But you have to ask very, very politely.

Normal service

Right, after that little April interlude, this blog will return to its usual subject matter.  Or ‘object matter’ when male submissives feature in the pics.


I don’t really ‘get’ maledom anyway, to be honest.  I mean, I can just about see that it could be quite sexy to have an attractive woman all tied up, available for any sexual act of my choosing.  I could iron one of her skirts, for example, or tidy her tights drawer even if what she really wanted was to be brought a cup of tea or have the garage cleared out. The thought of that kind of power’s quite a turn on.  But what’s the point of my being turned on if if she’s completely helpless in the bondage – she can’t remove my chastity belt with her hands tied, can she?  In any case, how can I decide what I want to do if she’s gagged and can’t tell me?  See, I just think maledoms haven’t really thought it all through.


Oh well. Here are some things I do understand, dimly at least.

Ah, yes, the purest form of male submission: not even daring to irritate her with your presence.  I find women really appreciate it when I do that.

Then, bruised and bloody, the winner gets to have a heavy BDSM session.  Quite a day.
But you have to book.  And until you’re a ‘regular’ you’ll need to pay a deposit in advance. No exceptions – sorry.

I’m sure she respects us really.  It’s a kind of harsh femdom persona she puts on. She’s really good at it, don’t you think?
 This is of course the lovely Gigi Allens, whose boots I am not fit to lick, and whose name I don’t even know how to pronounce. Hard g, soft?  One of each?
The pre-marital agreement also refers to ‘objectionable conduct’ so don’t even think of arguing – that’s a red flag right there.

Hmm. Have I posted hat last one before? I have a system for this blog to avoid that, with ‘posted’ and ‘unposted’ folders (over 1000 captioned images presently in the latter, so this blog will be here for a while!  Keep coming back.) Unlike the Tumblr site, where I just randomly post previously bloggered images, so there’s repetition from time to time (2700 now posted, though, so it doesn’t happen often! Keep going back – although there is nothing there that has not been here so I don’t really understand why people do).  Still, the above looks awfully familiar.  Oh well, have an extra one:

Oops. My bad.


Female submission month

You know, although it has been going for over five years, there’s one topic in the big toybox that is BDSM that this blog has never covered: female submission.  I think it’s time Contemplating the Divine bit the ball-gag, so to speak, and sought to depict this excitingly weird practice, in several posts over this month.   

I have found some images of female submission and tried my hand at a few captions. Obviously, it’s not really my thing so these might be a bit hit-and-miss at first, but I’m sure I’ll get there.

I hope that my core readership with femdom interests won’t abandon the blog completely during this time.  It’s just a matter of numbers, really: I have noticed that sites featuring female submission seem to be much more common, so I think there must be many more readers for this sort of material.  But we’ll just try it out during April and see.  Around the end of the month, I’ll have a look at the readership figures and take a view on whether to continue.  If there’s a big increase in traffic, I might turn the blog into one focusing on female submission, perhaps with an emphasis on school scenes and suchlike. But more likely, the future of the blog is as a mix of male and female sub imagery.


So here are some sexy servitor-captioned images of females on the submissive side of BDSM play.  Yay!


Trigger warning: contains images of ladies being treated with less than their due respect.  Male submissives should not look at these pictures.  I certainly didn’t when I posted them, so I warn you now that some might be upside down.











Well, that’s that. April fool obviously, but you knew that, right?  Course you did.


Except for the lovely picture of Madame Sarka being her lovely self, I found that a sickening display of perversion.  I hope all you dominant males feel suitably disgusted with yourselves and turn to something more wholesome and natural, like sissy maid laundry service, pegging or penis sounding.  You’ll feel so much better about yourselves, believe me.

Back to normal next time, if I can get these atrocious images out of my head enough to continue this blog.

Reminiscence




Really? Oh my god! 
That must have been, like, so embarrassing!  Hey – you know, the same thing happened to my
brother?  When he was 15?  Mom walked in just when he was…
well, actually you know, just when he was finishing if you know what I mean!  And he couldn’t stop so it happened right
there in front of her!
Yeah. He was pretty embarassed about that!
 
Mom was kinda strict too. Especially about that kind of stuff.  She paddled him so hard he could
hardly sit down for days.  Made him read out the bits of the bible about the ‘sin of Onan’ while she did it.
Yeah?  Your mom
paddled you too?  What, with a big wooden
paddle?  Ooooh – that must have hurt.
So when did all this happen?
About 25 minutes ago?
Oh.
Erm…
Right.
I just…I
dunno, thought maybe it was when you were a teenager or something… and, erm…
Hey!  You know, what I just suddenly remembered?  I can’t go tonight! I promised my friend Becky I’d
help her with her hair.  I am so sorry!
What?  ‘Where does
Becky live’?  Oh… well, hey, where do you
live?
OK.  It’s right the
other direction from there.

I hope you liked that.  I just wanted to warn regular readers that the next posting, due on Friday, is going to be a bit of a change of theme for this blog, as it will feature female submission.  Obviously, that’s not something that everyone who reads Contemplating the Divine will be into, so I just wanted to warn you as I don’t want to offend anyone.  Maybe it’s a mid-life crisis, maybe it’s something else, but it’s just a theme I feel I want to explore at this stage in my sexual journey and I’ve tried my hand a few captioned images.  Anyway, if you’re broadminded enough, come along and see what you think!
Servitor

Controlling promiscuity after hours

Shame they never made a video for that one. 

The Stranglers, of course.  Who are also famous for a lyric about a woman’s clitares*… which one day I will work into a caption as an extremely bad pun**.

But today, we have a scholastic focus.

It’s always worth negotiating.

Oh well.  Adult life was fun while it lasted, I guess.
Hmmm.  Might have to review her salary after a while.







But when does the blow job happen?





Well, if she can’t be bothered to get the details right, then what’s the point, eh?  I mean, really!  I’d have a word with her about it, but I’m still very bruised from last time.







*  No, actually it doesn’t mean that.  Just go and look it up for yourself, OK?  Honestly, do I have to provide a link for everything?

** I haven’t actually thought up the pun yet.  But I think we can confidently predict it will indeed be extremely bad.

Mean and nasty and pretty and horrible

Or pinches any other parts for that matter. Ouch.  Only eight hours to go, though…

Yes, that should work.  I certainly wouldn’t expect many erections any time soon, anyway.

They’re very nice shoes too.

If you want to get to know her better, you could try joining her reading circle.





My SO and I are agreed that wearing fur is cruel. That’s why she wears so much of it.







(Yup, same old anti-Vietnam littering-based protest song, Steve.  But I’m hoping no one will notice the repetition.)

There’s something she forgot to say to you

Celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state!

The company has a very strict policy agaimst sexual harassment too.  So don’t worry about that. If you’re groped, or propositioned or demeaned in any way, you can complain to your boss, right then and there.

Hmm.  Looks like he’s going to be spending a lot of time bent over the the engine, today.

She might have her own list of course.
Nope.  No hangups there.  None whatsoever. I have five years of blog postings to prove it.

 

Female liberation. Quite the best sort.

Tales of shame and degradation

Kinky and socially useful at the same time!  What’s not to like?

Better be worth it… I need those fingers for my everyday sex life.

He did mind.  But she didn’t.

Oh well. Live and learn.

Don’t diss housework simulators.  After a hard day’s ironing, there’s nothing I like better than to relax with SimLaundry 3.  I’m about to earn the 10,000 pleated skirt achievement.


Back down Memory Silnice

Recently, while down in the cellar (basement to you Americans), I was nearing the end of a long weekend scrubbing away at the walls with a toothbrush (it’s bit of a funny story how I found myself doing that, actually – remind me to tell you some time) when I noticed in an old cardboard box another file full of interviews* with those lovely Sublime Ladies from the Other World Kingdom.  So, as soon as the walls were clean enough for my chain to be lengthened sufficiently to allow me to come upstairs again, I scanned the ones featuring Madame Katarina and I’m now uploading them for you to wank over enjoy.

Now of course, OWK is lost in the pages of history, but in our hearts it will never die.  What matter it, if – 

– what’s that you say? ‘Shut up and get on with the pictures of Madame Katarina, Servitor, you prat’?  Oh. OK, then.



 …and in a postscript, with a written comment by the interviewer in handwriting too shaky to read:




* regular ‘readers’ will recognise this as the latest in one of the least popular series on the blog: OWK memories.