wife – Contemplating the divine

Under her tutelage

I’ll confess I don’t understand husbands who don’t do as they’re told. Do they have something better to do?

This could be the beginning of a beautiful obedience.

In my experience those situations are rare, although my SO has frequently expressed her profound regrets that I’m such a useless, annoying, unattractive and tedious piece of shit.

I think the idea that there might be a universe in which I have sex with someone like her calls the many-worlds explanation of quantum phenomena into serious doubt. I mean, Nazis winning WW2 sure, dinosaurs living on in Australia why not… but there have to be limits.

Hmm… not sure I’ve quite grasped the difference. Maybe try the first again?

Fortunately, she’s not run out of effort.

Indisputable truths

Don’t worry, you’re not doing too badly. The most important thing is to take her orders. Adverbs like ‘literally’, ‘immediately’, ‘subserviently’, ‘unquestioningly’ are important but next-level.

Men in strict chastity see many more sexy women on the streets… simple fact. It’s best to treat it as a bonus of the regime.

Another bonus: no need to worry about self-control when someone else is doing the controlling.

She’ll give you her hand in marriage and you’ll take it.

The first time I defied my SO’s orders, soon after we married, I was worried she’d be upset but in fact she enjoyed herself immensely over the next four or five hours.

She’s just read him a lovely bed-time story called “Spunk on my face!”

And apropos nothing very much, here’s a nice little bit of found femdom, which corresponds closely to a scenario I’ve featured once or twice here.

Just do as you’re told

I mean, how hard can that be?

Don’t worry: you won’t have to say much. Counting and thanking for the most part, maybe a few hundred words of apology and gratitude at the end.

Don’t you always feel uncomfortable, on the outskirts of a conversation like this? I do.

Of course it’s fair. Every ten weeks (subject to good behaviour, obvs)? That sounds like a non-stop sex party, as far as I’m concerned.

I’m told that the trick to buying a car in America (yes, it’s American – see, they put the steering wheel on the wrong side? Oh – and that blue jacket too…), is to negotiate on price and hold out for a good bargain. Just be aware, though, that that same tactic is absolutely catastrophic when approaching a findomme.

Thank goodness the only face we can see is the lovely one of Princess Kali.

Still lovely, still here.

In fairness, Sissy usually gets to go to bed a lot earlier than Mistress, too.

The bonds of love

It’s easy to wait patiently when you’re chained up. Or at least, it’s not different in any sense that really matters from waiting impatiently. Still… if there’s a biscuit going, I’m not saying no!

Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time for desperately remorseful apologies – they might even let you beg for forgiveness, if they’re in a generous mood.

Cruella, of course – even the Editrix herself (yes she was, who else do you imagine wrote the editorials?), Lady Victoria, on the right there. She inspired Goddess-Lady Lucia, you know.

Arguably, offering a plausible explanation is ‘impertinence’ in and of itself, but I’ve learnt not to argue.

Fortunately, your wife has a very high tolerance for observing pain, so I doubt the safeword will be needed. Still: safe, sane and consensual, right? Any BDSM play should incorporate at least two of those.

Not a good start to a lifetime of married bliss, is it? Still, I expect you’ll improve and she expects that too.

See – and you were worried you wouldn’t be respected in this relationship! They value your expertise in menial drudgery and that’s nothing to be ashamed of.

Benevolent brutality

She’ll work around it. A relationship is founded on how the partners feel about one another; things like whips and canes and tawses are just the physical expressions of that.

He’s not actually naturally balding; she just prefers him that way as she says it tickles less when she’s watching TV.

Wow – sounds like you might have an important assignment on your very first day!

He doesn’t need to check his privilege because she’s checking it thoroughly on his behalf.

Classic Cruella, of course, featuring the stunning Lady Sonia and the lovely Lynda Leigh. And some bloke, probably with an ugly moustache, but who cares, eh?

You might as well blame yourself. After all, she‘s going to be blaming you and it’s not as if anyone else cares.

I think we know what’ll happen to Rob if he doesn’t make more of an effort. Rob doesn’t, but he’s more brawn than brains.

The boys were falling like an avalanche

I think she has a choice… maybe she should assert herself more? Take control of her own life (as well as yours, obviously).

Actually, the photo was taken just before this shoot went horribly wrong. She slipped and broke a heel, poor thing. And it wasn’t just a clean break at the base where it joins the sole, either: it splintered at a narrow part of the stem so the pair was a complete write off – one of her favourites too. Oh, and as she slipped, all her weight fell onto the saw for a moment, so there was blood all over that bench and… well, the whole day is not one of her happier memories, let’s just put it like that. She had other pairs of shoes, obviously, but that’s not really the point, is it? They were special.

You know where this wonderful image originated, don’t you? Of course you do.

It’s weird how bulls won’t fold and neatly stack their sex partners’ underwear, like a normal person.

No cup of tea for me? Oh well.

I hope they don’t fall out over the inheritance. Of course, it depends which husband dies first.

Dommes work hard. Mine locked me in a box the other day and gave me an entire 24 hour ignoring session, when I’d only expected three hours, and she didn’t charge me any premium over her usual hourly rates! They’re not as cruel and heartless as the image they mostly like to project, dommes, you know.

Reigning in my heart

It’s best if she doesn’t do any rowing, as she wouldn’t want to work up a sweat and ruin the shoot… anyway, that’s what she brought you for. Don’t worry, she’ll probably do some paddling later, when the two of you are back at the hotel.

So much better to come to a negotiated settlement like this than have an unpleasant fight in court. More fun for her, too.

Not a good morning for her, not going to be a good evening for you. Consequences, remember?

She’s multi-tasking: doing stuff and ignoring you.

If you want to dispute the analogy, I’m sure she’d be only too happy to force your feet into a nice pair of 5-inch heels for the last two flights.

I think Ryan would definitely say it’s up to her.

Angel with the scourge

Two scourging angels, ready to inspire and if need be correct, profoundly religious thoughts.

Of course, it doesn’t need to be reserved solely for cuckold play. Plenty of uses for a pillory and it’s not like she has someone in her bed every night of the week,

Question asked, question answered. Time to move on.

Opinion among mistresses is divided as to whether it’s a good idea for sissies to have thinking time. Why spend so much time doing something they’re not good at?

Her brutality is rarely, if ever, unreasonable.

More and more women are discovering the fun that can be had with a golf club, especially in the company of a supportive man.

Pain points

These ladies like to emphasise them.

Probably best to clear two hours, there’s no point in rushing these discussions.

Oh well, if it’s complicated probably best not to inquire further. Anyway, you’re paying for this time. Let’s play!

For the avoidance of doubt, I am sure that in real life Goddess Lady Skotia plays safely and delightfully, so the widow’s fascinator (such a lovely word) is just part of the outfit. And she does look very fetching in it.

“I am her Highness’ gimp at Kew, pray tell me Sir, whose gimp are you?”

It’s Mike I feel sorry for. She might not be bothered where her shots end up but he has to run to fetch the bolts back. A fully cocked crossbow fires them at several hundred miles per hour, so they go a long way if nothing gets in the way to slow them down.

Miss Chambers from Cruella a long time ago… such a pretty nose.

That’s a bit unfair. I frequently get quite close to girls who are having real sex, sometimes under the very bed where it’s happening.

Winners focus on winning. Losers focus on winners.

Perfectly entitled

She doesn’t have to repeat herself, but of course she’s perfectly entitled to say the same thing every month.

He, on the other hand, is not at all entitled but is hoping for a favourable outcome. I’m sure she’ll say yes: it would be mean and capricious to say no, after all.

He thought it would make the scene more edgy, using a real loaded gun, and he was right. Some dommes would just work it into the scene, maybe even applying a wickedly tight tourniquet to the affected body parts (helping to staunch the massive loss of blood as well as providing a kinky thrill) but it seems this one has had enough. I expect she needs a quiet evening in, with a hot bath, a bottle of wine and her cats – to put her weird and kinky clients right out of her mind.

Don’t worry: no one will think any less of you because you’re only a homemaker. They all regard you with utter contempt already.

Nothing like a cold shower in February to bring a brisk dose of real life to a femdom session, I find. PS – why are dedicated dungeon spaces often so f***ing cold? Perhaps I should just play domestic scenes in winter months, curled up over a lap in front of a nice warm fire, with a nice warm bottom…

She’s a pro and she demands a professional service.