whipping – Contemplating the divine

Facts are stubborn things

… a bit like donkeys, then, and males. Today we have OWKFacts! Ages since we had any OWKFacts… this blog will be in danger of losing its reputation as the femdom blog of record and its obsession with accuracy and verisimilitude (oh, thank the Goddess for spell-checkers) if I don’t put some more facts out there.

Bonny brutality

I don’t pee standing up, either. My SO insists that I do it lying in my bathtub, with my legs up as far over my head as they’ll go. It’s quite uncomfortable – and messy – but she says it’s funnier that way.

The trick is to have a weekly joint budget – and for the male to have sufficient incentive to make sure it isn’t exceeded, no matter what she spends.

You can get an app to track your pillory time each week, I understand, which can be useful for writing letters of thanks.

‘D-I-V-O-R-C-E – find out what you’re worth to her, on the open market.’

Oh good. I hope one of them’s a nice cup of hot chocolate.

It’s not mind-reading. Men can’t really hide it when they’re aroused. I don’t just mean erections – even we submissives who aren’t allowed them exhibit subtler signs, like whining and pleading.

Love is a sacrament that should be taken kneeling

It’s a very rewarding relationship. But there can also be penalties.

She hasn’t completely forgiven him you understand. The topic *will* come up again… but that’s enough for one day.

A bit thoughtless of Suzie, I’d say, leaving her gimp chained up for her friends to look after. She could have got one of those autofeeder things and saved them a lot of trouble. Or just a really big bucket for the food mixture.

Then you can get on with making dinner. They’re going to be hungry, I expect.

I never know anything. Wouldn’t particularly want to, if I were there… I could just be.

…and an extra one, which I wrote in a particularly worshipful mood.

… although actually that’s not true (like many things on this blog), because obviously in session you can get away with calling her ‘Mistress’. Which was just as well for me, as I’d always assumed it was some variant of ‘El-ee-ssa’. I was granted the extraordinary privilege of visiting Mistress Eleise three or four times about ten years ago and I never did realise I was saying her name wrong in my head until I heard her say it in a video, quite recently. Fortunately, I never committed the unforgiveable sin of mispronouncing her name out loud, to her very feet (oh, those feet…). Not that it got me out of the slappings (and the mocking… oh, that mocking!) I so thoroughly deserved.

Held in contempt

Have a bit of empathy for goodness’ sake: she’s not actually ‘asking’ here… mars and venus thing, you know?

Curiously enough, none of them confessed until she got to level 11, then three did, all at the same time. So of course she had to carry on a bit to sort out who was telling the truth and who lying. Which *was* a bit hard on the other six, I suppose, but fairness is important to her so she wanted to be sure who was guilty.

They’ll be bringing you a special meal and drinks, so be sure to tell them if there’s anything you really don’t enjoy eating.

They can still have a lot of mushrooming fun. The woods are full of fungal growths: on the mossy ground, around the base of tree-trunks, growing on rotting old logs. A few of them are poisonous to humans, though, so she should find a way of testing for toxicity before taking any home to cook.

They used to have cigarette girls too, astonishing though it is to think of that today.

Kitten’s sympathetic face is pretty good, don’t you think? She had to practise it a lot, when she was starting out, because she didn’t find it easy.

Pervertiveness training

See? There may be things Sven’s better at doing than you are (her, for instance) but can he do a wiggle-waggle bunny-dance? With all the actions? I think not. That big swinging dick of his would probably knock over a coffee table or something, I’m sure it would be an utter embarassment anyway.

In any event, she didn’t specify *which* hour of shock collar play she meant… it might be an hour later today, or even in a few months’ time. Women aren’t as literal-minded and linear in their thinking about these things. Anyway, whatever she ends up doing, she is determined it’s going to be mutually agreed with his explicit – enthusiastic, even – consent, so that’s all right.

Remember, though, when she clicks her fingers that *other* way, it doesn’t mean that. You’ll get the hang of it eventually.

They’re actually missing out: their friend Kayla has been paid for years to come along to these sessions and never does.

AI has a long way to go. It still tends to think human rights apply to males – and equally annoyingly, it *still* gets the number of fingers wrong way too often.

Her spankee wouldn’t be demeaned either (de-manned, maybe, but that’s different). It would be an honour.

Relentlessly romantic

And it makes her life easier too – she can focus her disciplinary efforts on gratifying her own sexual desires, instead of constantly having to make you scream for mercy over simple household tasks inadequately carried out.

You don’t want to make it her problem, believe me. She employs very effective problem-solving techniques.

Well she could look a bit more interested! I mean, here you are, ready to scream your guts out as you thrash around in agony for everyone else’s pleasure…

I can date to the very day – almost to the very stroke – the moment I reached the same realisation, in my own blissfully happy marriage.

She’ll get the hang of it. You can’t make an omelette without breaking a few kitchen slaves, am I right?

Actually, she’s unfairly disparaging* AFM’s technology section here. Just in the last few issues they’ve reviewed all the latest electronic air fresheners – focusing on how easy it is to change the scent they disperse – they’ve had some fascinating pieces on the microfungus ecologies that thrive and provide such rich aromas from even the cleanest armpits and they have tested out all of the latest AI models with a carefully standardised prompt crafted to induce them to describe a particular activity (can’t remember what it was) in as much detail as possible. Plus reviews of shaving technologies obviously.

*But then, Ms Palvin is very welcome to disparage me unfairly as hard and as often as she wants. I live for the hope that one day she will.

Whip smart

Just to cite one possibility, at random, among so many.

The Honourable Dogbreath-Twattington takes his role very seriously and never reaches a decision without careful thought about the possible consequences of getting it wrong.

Some prefer candles and soft music but they’ve discovered through much experimentation that this is what works for them.

He’ll thank her for it eventually, you’ll see.

Oh, I hate playing the ‘guess what I stepped in’ game. Surprisingly enough, for instance, beetles and slugs taste very similar, despite actually coming from entirely separate phylla of the animal kingdom.

Oooh kerosene play! Quite edgy if you currently have quite a lot of body hair, I understand.

Simply irresistible

Resistance is futile.

You may well find that your opinion is not firmly held, while you’re firmly held and hearing hers.

I’m naturally suited to SPH too. Just lucky that way, I guess.

’tis. But sometimes its better to receive than to give. How to decide? Fortunately, I never have to, so that’s not a dilemma I face.

Poor thing. Women sometimes have to work so hard – my SO, bless her, is absolutely tireless and relentless in how hard she works herself to make sure I’m performing at my absolute best. I’m very grateful.

Of course, no subbie is going to love a movie as much as one his goddess appears in.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.

She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.

Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.

It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

So this is what makes life divine

Fairy tales… yes, more fairy tales. But there’s a theme today. See if you can guess what it is.

No prizes, of course, for spotting the theme (any who didn’t, please go and book a session with a suitably severe lady to be beaten for stupidity). All fairy tales should feature breathtakingly beautiful princesses, wicked queens, clever heroines and evil and sadistic villains – how much simpler the author’s task when all of those are combined in one, wonderful, elegant and… well, divine form.