Category: slave

Paradox girl, mighty woman,you are the thing that terrifies them.

Don’t worry, she’ll adhere strictly to the conditions in the contract you just signed. You did read it, right?
It’s understandable: most operations on males don’t require anesthetic.
Next time she might try just not turning up. Testing your limits… you see?
No animals were or will be harmed in the making of this torture-snuff caption.
That is a good mnemonic: works for lots of things.
Fortunately they were able to use agency photos to illustrate the article as the camera-sissy’s hands were shaking too much with shy excitement to do justice to Mistress Kate’s flowing locks.

She’s right on this one

And all the other ones.

Scurrying skills required, I’d say.
Obviously, in dental play she avoids doing anything for which you need years of specialised training. Using anaesthetic, for instance, which can be quite dangerous if you don’t know exactly what you’re doing, so she wisely never tries it.

Miss Chambers of Cruella, of course – and although it’s not in the foreground, it is in profile so once again, I will obsessively draw your attention to that lovely nose. Cleopatra has nothing on Miss Chambers. Now go and buy Andy’s stuff before he changes his mind about selling it online!

Well that’s hardly difficult.
Just for once, the queue for the ladies’ isn’t that bad but she’s always wanted to try this.
That’s the thing about a visit to OWK – it helps you confront your irrational fears and replace them with rational ones.
‘All men are equal’ – sure. I can get behind that. But that’s about as far as it goes.

Bonny brutality

I don’t pee standing up, either. My SO insists that I do it lying in my bathtub, with my legs up as far over my head as they’ll go. It’s quite uncomfortable – and messy – but she says it’s funnier that way.
The trick is to have a weekly joint budget – and for the male to have sufficient incentive to make sure it isn’t exceeded, no matter what she spends.
You can get an app to track your pillory time each week, I understand, which can be useful for writing letters of thanks.
‘D-I-V-O-R-C-E – find out what you’re worth to her, on the open market.’
Oh good. I hope one of them’s a nice cup of hot chocolate.
It’s not mind-reading. Men can’t really hide it when they’re aroused. I don’t just mean erections – even we submissives who aren’t allowed them exhibit subtler signs, like whining and pleading.

Under her care and control

Because she’s very caring and very controlling.

‘Rules’ mind you, not ‘contract’. Your agreement was not required then, nor is it now.
Quite a lot at those ladies’ hourly rates, I hope.

I’ll mention again, in gratitude and encouragement, that Cruella’s back catalogue of magazines and photos is finally being made available for download. You can even pay by PayPal. Go on…

I might like it if it were consistently cooked properly but, for some reason, half of the time the person serving me just pushes a bowl of raw octopus into my face. I can’t imagine why this place gets such rave reviews. Still, you go for the experience, really, don’t you?
Obviously, it’s a bit of a gamble giving your life and freedom up to some unknown starlet. Sure, you might end up with a diamond-encrusted collar, chained up in the playroom of a Beverley Hills mansion… But most budding actresses don’t make it and you’re far more likely to end your days working two paid jobs and doing domestic slavery for an abusive, bitter alcoholic, her looks ruined by bad plastic surgery, living with her violent boyfriend in a trailer park somewhere. Which – y’know – isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but you should know what you’re getting into, that’s all.
I might venture a prediction… well: more of a guess, really.
I wonder what it would take to convince him to go vegetarian?

The astonishingly glamorous, beautiful and witty Mistress Eleise de Lacy, a truly wonderful domme, now sadly retired. This tweet from Sardax contains lovely pictures I’d never seen before, showing her playful smile (do tigresses smile? If so, it must look something like that).

Celestial bodies

Good thing she brought a sub. They’re used to them on fashion shoots, of course: no self-respecting model would be seen without an obedient puppy boy on a leash or a sissy maid at a respectful three paces behind, these days.
She prides herself on being the perfect hostess: it’s all about making sure someone makes the effort to prepare everything properly before the guests arrive, apparently.
Humiliation play can be a tricky thing. I once met up with a domme in cafe for public humiliation play and soon found myself being insulted, belittled and eventually slapped by this elegant, blonde lady in high heels and furs. Perfect – until I discovered I’d got the wrong cafe entirely and the domme I’d booked had been waiting impatiently in the one around the corner. Most embarassing.

The lovely Princess Kali, there, trying not to engage in humiliation play.

If all that fails, I understand there’s a briar patch they can throw you into.
I hope someone tells the patient that someone with the right skills and training is looking after his wife. Otherwise he might be feeling anxious for her.
Or those she has set for you.

Insults and injuries

Never was, in any sense that ever mattered to anyone, to be honest.
Don’t worry: mere viewing of the photos on the Internet carries a much lighter penalty. If it’s a first offence, you should get away with just a day visit to the re-education centre.
I’m sure there are planty of more experienced readers of this blog who could help Miss Chambers out.
See? There was no reason to worry about telling her. Kitten understands completely and she’ll adapt to the new situation.
This way, Ma’am.
Of course, the good Governess will have to make up for it on a subsequent visit, but there’s no need to think about that now.

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”
It is – brutally – simple.
They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.
If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.
Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.
It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. John Cleese, Clockwise.

Talking down to you

The natural position, for those we look up to.

And actually, if you think about it, the three big hairy leathermen are probably just as scared of you as you are of them, right? Right?
A little light bondage is nothing to be afraid of. It’s the things she can do to you only because she’s put you into a little light bondage that you should fear.
Bit weird, because she always said she thought bald guys look stupid.
I think you might have pushed her boundaries, there.
Nothing personal. Almost all her clients are more important than you.
Don’t pretend to be a free human, not under that gaze.

Sexual inequality

Oh, those grabber machines… they can be such an exercise in frustration.
Their buy-one-get-one-free offers are pretty good, but they had to abandon their no-questions-asked policy on taking back damaged goods, as too many dommes were abusing it.
You’ve got to be careful with the wording of hard limit lists. For example, mine rules out blow torch play, but it turns out welding arcs are actually hotter! Oh well, live and learn.
It’s easy to tell them apart – his helmet reads ‘other gimp’.
It might all sound complicated but actually, it’s a lot easier to learn Czech than… well: refusing to learn Czech. You’ll see. Don’t worry about making grammatical and other mistakes at first: the ladies expect that; in fact they rather enjoy pointing out those little errors.
The trutch can be painful, but not usually quite as painful as lies.

Good boys always follow

As Ms Harry said, and I don’t think there’s any arguing with that.

I’m just relieved that the pins all the bridesmaids were issued with are for symbolic purposes. I’d imagined… well, it doesn’t matter, does it?
Males have difficulty sometimes in following through the logical consequences of their own statements. It’s not really their fault, they’re just morons.
Her company takes bullying very seriously. So does she.
Part of the reason the Kerbside Sexist Service is so popular, of course, is the generous rebates of up to 1000% on the subscription fee, paid by the sexists themselves. It makes ‘peace of mind’ very affordable.
If you do mind, she doesn’t.
Yeah, weird that. Mine are mostly for locksmiths, for reasons I’ve never understood, but at least that’s not something my SO could find objectionable, I suppose.
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