sissy – Contemplating the divine

At her…

feet
beck and call
convenience
command
disposal

… choose your own ending. Or ask someone from a more competent sex to choose for you.

She’s a firm believer in forgiveness, once the necessary corrective measures have been taken.

I myself have never paid for sex. Quite the opposite, if anything.

Maybe he enjoys obsessing about it. Let’s hope so because I suspect he’ll be doing a lot of that.

I can’t imagine why she thinks she needs her hockey stick – it’s not as if the teacher’s likely to change his mind about any of his decisions, even if she gives him a demonstration.

Maybe she was a little dismissive, but there are global news organisations in the room. Not every day a supermodel shares a new bra and they have front pages and newsflash segments to fill.

Clever Mistress Eleise knows lots of magic tricks. A male ego can be made to disappear forever, for instance, with nothing more than a simple raised eyebrow and the hint of a smile.

Paradox girl, mighty woman,you are the thing that terrifies them.

Don’t worry, she’ll adhere strictly to the conditions in the contract you just signed. You did read it, right?

It’s understandable: most operations on males don’t require anesthetic.

Next time she might try just not turning up. Testing your limits… you see?

No animals were or will be harmed in the making of this torture-snuff caption.

That is a good mnemonic: works for lots of things.

Fortunately they were able to use agency photos to illustrate the article as the camera-sissy’s hands were shaking too much with shy excitement to do justice to Mistress Kate’s flowing locks.

Due to the unparalleled reach of this blog (other blogs may – indeed do – reach more people and indeed many of the same people, but none will be exactly parallel), book publishers tend to send me ‘flyers’ for their latest publications. I thought I might as well chuck them onto the blog, as you lot will wank to anything with pretty girls saying vaguely pervy things, and it’s a lot easier than doing anything creative.

Available in all good bookshops, but you might have to go along way to find a bookshop good enough, these days.

Sanity, thy name is woman

Oh dear. I think the discussion about whether you need to be microchipped is finally over.

She wears things that turn you on… dresses, shoes, that kind of thing. So: time to slip into something less comfortable for her.

Actually everything was OK, because it turns out Treasure’s a bit kinky too. Well… maybe kinky’s not quite the right word. It’s more that she had deep-seated issues of rage towards the male sex to work through, but the result is much the same in practice.

She has developed a technique for dealing with panic attacks… usually she just goes off and has a cup of tea.

The lovely Maîtresse Blanche, there, who applies her treatments in a pretty little town near Fontainebleu outside Paris. I have been in that position, presumably in that very chair, and I was coping… OK with it all, until she discovered I was ticklish. But she coped very well with my not coping.

If you’re lucky she might let you have a longer ankle chain. But I wouldn’t bet on it.

Kitten’s going to think *really hard* about that.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.

She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.

Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.

It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy

John Calvin said that, kinky little slut that he was.

I hope that isn’t real fur. It’s cruel, you know.

Oh, I hate sissy play-dates, don’t you? Sometimes I’d rather just be left at home, chained up on the back porch. But my preferences don’t enter into it.

I don’t see what isn’t sexy about any of that.

He should take her seriously. Very, very seriously.

You could ask. What’s the worst that can happen?

Malign neglect

She’s not one of these ladies who objects to your having an opinion that’s different from hers – in fact, you can have any opinions you like, as far as she’s concerned.

Madame Samantha’s technique with a cordkscrew is legendary.

Don’t worry: it’s a purely symbolic sacrifice the Goddess will demand of you. You won’t be deprived of anything important.

Which is fine, but did Trevor hear his wife call out for him to “just tidy this lot up, will you darling?” as she was carried into the bedroom? Better start wriggling.

Nothing ventured nothing win… faint heart never won fair mistress (or an unfair one).

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny

This blog’s all in favour of domestic tyranny, of course – despotism begins at home – but has mixed feelings about war. Nonetheless, today, as so often before, we pay tribute to those heroines who fought in a war they did not seek*, to overthrow a cruel, oppressive patriarchy and replace it with the cruel and oppressive matrarchy the good boys who read this blog fervently wish for.

* You might imagine that the female supremacist side started the war but you’d be wrong (male, are you? Yeah, that explains it. You’re probably wrong about a lot of things – don’t worry, there’s plenty of women who can set you right). They were no more responsible for the war than a wife wearily sighing “Oh darling, don’t make me whip you again!” is responsible for the consequences of your impertinence. The losing side in WWM had only themselves to blame, and if they didn’t take that opportunity to do so and apologise to their superiors, the survivors had plenty of time for that after the war.