The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.
She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.
Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.
Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.
It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.
Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy

John Calvin said that, kinky little slut that he was.

Scurry scurry….
I hope that isn’t real fur. It’s cruel, you know.
Oh, I hate sissy play-dates, don’t you? Sometimes I’d rather just be left at home, chained up on the back porch. But my preferences don’t enter into it.
I don’t see what isn’t sexy about any of that.
He should take her seriously. Very, very seriously.
You could ask. What’s the worst that can happen?

Malign neglect

She’s not one of these ladies who objects to your having an opinion that’s different from hers – in fact, you can have any opinions you like, as far as she’s concerned.
Madame Samantha’s technique with a cordkscrew is legendary.
Oh dear, how embarassing.
Don’t worry: it’s a purely symbolic sacrifice the Goddess will demand of you. You won’t be deprived of anything important.
Which is fine, but did Trevor hear his wife call out for him to “just tidy this lot up, will you darling?” as she was carried into the bedroom? Better start wriggling.
Nothing ventured nothing win… faint heart never won fair mistress (or an unfair one).

A state of war only serves as an excuse for domestic tyranny

This blog’s all in favour of domestic tyranny, of course – despotism begins at home – but has mixed feelings about war. Nonetheless, today, as so often before, we pay tribute to those heroines who fought in a war they did not seek*, to overthrow a cruel, oppressive patriarchy and replace it with the cruel and oppressive matrarchy the good boys who read this blog fervently wish for.

* You might imagine that the female supremacist side started the war but you’d be wrong (male, are you? Yeah, that explains it. You’re probably wrong about a lot of things – don’t worry, there’s plenty of women who can set you right). They were no more responsible for the war than a wife wearily sighing “Oh darling, don’t make me whip you again!” is responsible for the consequences of your impertinence. The losing side in WWM had only themselves to blame, and if they didn’t take that opportunity to do so and apologise to their superiors, the survivors had plenty of time for that after the war.

Authoritative statements

I have a right to stand up for myself, don’t I? And to bend over for someone else if so ordered, too, of course.
Quite right only to use the low settings unless there’s some kind of silly refusal or sulkiness. It’s a solemn and dignified service, she doesn’t want it punctuated by shrieks of agony. Plenty of time for that tonight.
Whatever the service – haircut, tax return advice, torture, anything – it’s always reassuring to know you’re going to be in the hands of a professional.
Polite society in those days of course frowned upon explicit reference to certain natural bodily functions, so the phrase used when a man performed this service for a lady was ‘paying his respects to her’. Knowing that gives a whole new flavour to reading Austen.
Combining cage-play and pool-play can be a bit edgy but sometimes it can be just what a relationship needs, to help them both move on.
Actually, in long-term chastity play it can often be better if the keyholder does not wear sexy, fetishistic items during unlocking sessions. Takes a little longer to reach orgasm, you see, and – even a few extra seconds are precious. He hasn’t realised that yet but he’ll have plenty of time to think about it.

At her mercy

If she has any.

It’s all right, he has a desk job so as long as he can basically limp in and his fingers aren’t too bruised to type, it’ll be OK.
Apparently it’s best not to think about it too much. But then, when it happens, it’s hard to think about anything else. Dilemma, really. Where’s all that thoughtlessness that got you into this mess, when you really need it?
I expect the two of them will get a bit jealous, of all five of you down there together.
Don’t worry: she’ll make sure you get what you deserve.
Actually, professional wrestling’s all for show: no one really gets hurt. Of course, as an amateur, that doesn’t apply to you, but it’s nice to know, isn’t it?
I don’t know what she’s talking about; just put this up because I thought the two of them looked pretty.

Red for danger

Perhaps she put it somewhere special. More special, I mean.

The magnificent Mistress Tess. But you knew that, right?

What an embarassing misunderstanding. Still, no harm done.
Precious looks a little worried. She shouldn’t be – the lady in red, there, likes to talk tough but she never really harms her playmates. She’s more into the psychology of dominating them than pain or other physical activities, you see. Oh: and brutally torturing their husbands too, but then that’s also part of the psychological game, you see?
Much fairer that way, in that there’s less chance of your escaping justice.
It’s funny how ther girls who aren’t really into humiliation play can be so good at it. Some of the dates I went on as a teenager can make me cringe with remembered humiliation in a manner that a specialist to whom I’ve paid hundreds of pounds for the session could only dream of…
She’s right, of course. They both are.

That little chat

You know… that little chat. The one she’s been promising you all week. Don’t keep her waiting.

And don’t forget what happens to sissies who tell lies. Although I don’t imagine you will, after that last time.
Oooh – potential ally! Maybe you could start by explaining how oppressive and inappropriate disciplinary spankings are, see how she reacts, then develop the conversation from there.
Unlike many mothers-in-law she’s quite pleased with her daughter’s choice of husband and enjoys her visits.
Maybe they’ll have a ‘bring your sissy to work day’ at the silo.
Those slaveboys… they get up to such mischief. Good thing she’s there to keep an eye on him.
He is lucky. Look at all that effort she’s putting into their relationship.

The wonderful Lady Kenworthy, demonstrating the sound of one hand clapping.

When she clicks her fingers

I can simultaneously be desperate, lazy and incompetent, can’t I? I thought women were in favour of multitasking.
I think her defeated male opponents are just sore losers.
Teachers love hearing from their former pupils, especially ones who have gone on to develop successful businesses or professional careers.
Try to enter the spirit of the thing by being horribly embarassed and hating every moment. Remember: they’re laughing at you not with you.

Image reminds me of my favourite ever search term, back when this blog was on blogger (you got to see search terms that led ‘readers’ there), which was “tutu humiliation -bishop -desmond”.

He was also going to report them for smoking in a public building, so they use him to dispose of the evidence.
I don’t see what’s crazy about that. I mean it’s a nice car, but…

She must be right

We want to hear happy positive words: specifically your online banking details.
Can you believe the ungratitude – and look at all the effort she’s making, you can see that just from his back.
After all this time not able to get an erection, it’ll be nice to be doing that again. Up – zap! – and down. And up again and – zap! Aaanndd….
There are twenty-four verses but I’ve spared you that.

This is the firm and very fair Tamara Kenworthy. Look at the determination on that face – I can only hope her husband learns to appreciate his luck.

If you’re worried about any darts missing the board and piercing you in the neck or face, don’t be. It’s going to be on a long cord, so it’ll be hanging lower down your body than that, just about over your stomach.
Or you could maintain your dignity and accept a spanking and early bedtime without supper, if you don’t want to demean yourself.
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