office – Page 6 – Contemplating the divine

Penile servitude

It turns out they did get the sugar, but it was a little untidily heaped in the bowl, so, you know…

Bad interns get spanked. Good interns get spanked and made to wear little lacy panties too.

I had to go to court once. The lady magistrate ordered me to be bound over to keep the peace. But apparently that doesn’t mean what you might think. Who knew? I just started to get myself ready, then and there, but… it’s a long story but anyway, I ended up sentenced to six months with hard labour for an obscene display in contempt of court. So that turned out quite well in the end.

Odd thing to say. I think she looks very nice.

And that’s before they start.

Silly things do cease to be silly if they are done by sensible people in an impudent way

You might want to pay particular attention to the inflight safeword briefing.

Damn. Maybe we could play backgammon instead?

If it’s any consolation, Jerry’s no happier about it than you are, In fact, he’s bloody furious. Try to make him happy, OK?

Hmm. That’s diamonds eleven times in a row, now. That means hearts must come up next time, right?

I don’t want you to get the impression that reading this blog in any way singles you out as a loser, OK? As long as no one ever, ever finds out, then there’s nothing to be ashamed of. Obviously, if they do, then there is but that just means you have to take care, right?

Subjugated

Ah… reminds me of my collaring ceremony. It happened right here, actually, not three feet away from where I am crouching right now.

I’m very aware of sexism in the workplace, being one of the more inferior members of the inferior gender.

I don’t understand men who send women pictures of their penises. I mean, it’s just asking for trouble. Like waving a raw steak in front of a hungry leopard.

On the plus side, his steel tube is a lot bigger than mine or yours.

You say “Yes, please”.

Unsafe words

…and some bloody dangerous pictures too.

Ah, you always need to watch out for the feminine, unthreatening ones. And even more for the feminine, extremely threatening ones, obviously.

Oh well. Something to do while waiting to drive her home, I suppose.

I imagine most readers of this blog will mainly be familiar with this actress from Walk All Over Me, but I understand she was also in a science fiction series on TV.

She wishes she didn’t have to do this, you know. She hates pain. Oh no, hang on – that’s him. Never mind. She’s fine with it.

Actually, I come closest to achieving self respect in precisely those circumstances. But it’s never that close, admittedly.

…and a bonus topical one:

Before you start, you’re already beat

She’s going to play you for a fool, yes it’s true.

I wouldn’t mind. Not that anyone would care whether I did or not.

If you’re still worried that there might be gay sex involved somewhere, they’ve offered to sign a written agreement that under no circumstances will you engage in any sexual activity of any sort, ever. OK? So: that’s all right.

I think it’s good that she still plays with her former boyfriends occasionally. The ones she hasn’t broken, anyway.

This was, and is, the lovely Mistress Mina Thorne who I am sure is a perfect professional and would never do anything even the teensiest bit non-consensual, unless you asked her to. Asked very nicely. But she does have a delightfully wicked smile so I keep featuring images of her doing evil things.

You’ve got to learn to pick up on these little signals now you’re married. Guys: the gag means she doesn’t want to hear it, OK?

I like this one a lot… S.

…and you can spend more time in the office!

Two short pieces about office life that were just too long to work as captions.

Recognition

OK! Yeah! Great! Thanks, Mike. Now the prize for the idea that most contributed to the company’s success… well, we didn’t need to think too long about this one! I guess you all know the story? One of our biggest Chinese suppliers really screwed up and sent us three months supply of babywear in sizes, like, six or seven times too big? I don’t know what they were thinking – centimetres and inches? Even that doesn’t really do it. Do they have, like, six foot tall babies in China? Anyway, they went bankrupt so I guess no one will ever know.

So there we were, right? Three months stock – plastic pants, dresses, dummies, baby reins – and none of it was going to fit any baby that ever lived! But cometh the hour, cometh the man. One employee who heard about the trouble – a guy who didn’t even work in our babywear divison – sent an anonymous email to marketing with the idea that saved the company, right? And you all know what happened then.

And today our fetishwear division is the most profitable in the company! Yeah! Those humiliation freaks will pay any kind of margins we set for our stuff – they can’t get enough of it. Oh – and have I mentioned we’re about to launch a very exciting range of lockable sissy clothing?

OK. OK. Yeah! Great. OK, settle down because now I’ve got a surprise for you.

Our guys in IT have been working to trace that anonymous email. Because this company believes that great contributions need to be recognised – in public! – and rewarded. And, I guess, because we’d all love to hear how he even got the idea!

And he’s here today… so are you going to come up here and take a bow, Mr Anonymous? Or do I have to ‘out’ you, huh?

C’mon, don’t be so modest! Take a bow and take the credit! You deserve it!

Mr 49 year-old Anonymous… from the Cleveland office…

Conditions of service

OK, yeah, it is ‘that’ Mark Lewis. And listen, if you don’t want to work with him, I’d respect that. Especially after suffering all that sexual harassment in your last job – anyone would be angry with sexually predatory men after that.

But let me tell you a few things about Mark, OK – a few things other than that he stole all those panties from his co-workers and was caught masturbating into a shoe. First off, right, he’s a really great coder and the most painstaking worker in the division. He’ll pull an all-nighter whenever needed, just checking through the code, without complaining. We need our products to be bug-free from the moment they go out the door, and it’s hard to find that kind of dedication.

Secondly, you know about the agreement he had to sign, right?

Yeah, sure, he’s wearing a steel tube. That’s part of it. Everyone knows about that part. But do you know about the behavioural conditions?

Well, Mark has to demonstrate respect for his female co-workers in all his interactions. And it’s up to them how they make him demonstrate that. So, for example, some of his co-workers make him stand to the side with his nose pressed up against a wall when they walk past, others make him apologise for being a pantie-stealing pervert at the start of every meeting – that kind of thing.

So as his new boss you’d –

What? Yeah, sure, anything you like, I guess. I mean, obviously if he really didn’t want to do it he could resign… but he’s 56 and all his healthcare and pension are here, you know, so… pretty much anything goes, I guess.

Do you need some time to think about it?

Of course, I should probably emphasise that you couldn’t make him do anything actually illegal or hazardous to his health… I’ll just make a note that we discussed that at this meeting, OK? But as long as that’s understood, can I take it you’re on board to take on the role of his supervisor?

Great. I’ll call him in to tell him the good news.

Giving until it hurts

I donate all my spare money to the retired dominatrices’ malevolent fund. It doesn’t make me feel any better about myself, but it saves all that time that I used to waste buying stuff, eating out or going on holiday.

I have a very active fantasy life, as you can tell. Sometimes it does go too far, though. I mean, really…men’s lib?? Come on Servitor…let’s try to keep the blog reasonably grounded in reality.

Yes, I’ve never had any problem with female authority figures. My difficulty arises when we have 19 year-old female interns around the office. They’re just not used to giving orders or having someone else get their coffee. But over the course of a six week internship, they usually get the idea.

To cut a long story short: she said so, he protested, she insisted, he tearfully agreed and now it’s one of their biggest sellers. So he can afford to give her even more tribute. Funny how things work out.

That doesn’t mean she would always give you a handjob, of course.

…and why it will continue to happen.

There’s something she forgot to say to you

Celebrate the conscious liberation of the female state!

The company has a very strict policy agaimst sexual harassment too. So don’t worry about that. If you’re groped, or propositioned or demeaned in any way, you can complain to your boss, right then and there.

Hmm. Looks like he’s going to be spending a lot of time bent over the the engine, today.

She might have her own list of course.

Nope. No hangups there. None whatsoever. I have five years of blog postings to prove it.

Female liberation. Quite the best sort.

Kiss the boys and make them cry

Phwoah.

The ‘client’ in this picture was of course the remarkable, rather intimidating… OK, very intimidating, Mistress Cassie Hunter.

Yeah, I tried vanilla sex once. Well, I tried to try it anyway… but she wasn’t having any of it.

There’s men would kill to be in his position. Perhaps one day she’ll let them.

No reason not to mix business with pleasure.

Ah.. voluntary consent. It’s just non-negotiable. As George is finding out.

Penile servitude

Aooooarrrahhh-oooo, eeehhhhuuuh!

I’m sure we’ve all been there.

That’s true, actually. I mean, I certainly don’t experience pain the way my Significant Other does. I experience it a lot more frequently, for a start.

“Just” in the sense of “only”

Hmm. 16 orgasms in less than a minute. Quite a performance. Let’s try not to repeat it.