lesbians – Page 15 – Contemplating the divine

Speaking strictly

Generally, violence isn’t the solution. But in this case, it probably is, if we’re being honest with ourselves. Not just impertinence, but habitual impertinence, after all.

Why do I find this the scariest captioned photo I have ever posted?

Cool. This could be your lucky break into movies. Maybe when you’ve recovered, you could see about getting an agent?

This of course is Cruella, and the sublime Lady Victoria, from the very first set of magazines after the company was founded. She haunted my adolescence… still does.

Well, she used to, anyway. I think she might have lost it, actually. Doesn’t really matter, but just so you know.

OK, so you’re probably not going anywhere here. Still: you haven’t been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man… you’ve been rejected as a sad, useless and unattractive excuse for a man by Billie Piper! Huh? Not bad, huh?

Just looking

What? Oh God,
no. You don’t have to do anything like that. He can’t cope with real women.

We just have to stand here wearing these
for half an hour while he watches. Then we go and get changed and leave him the
underwear. God knows what the little
pervert does with it – puts it on or wanks into it or something. Easiest money you’ll ever make.

No, don’t worry about that.
He gets off on humiliation. You
can say what you like.

Can’t we, pervert?

That’s right.

By the way, pervert, after this, we’ve got an appointment with a real
man. He wants to fuck both of us all
night, and we’re charging him less than a tenth of what you’re paying for half
an hour!

Isn’t that funny?

Hmm? No, he never speaks. Just sits there and watches. Kind of creepy, isn’t it? Still, probably better that he does this than going off to watch girls in the park, or something.

How are we doing for time? This is the first time I’ve had someone with me. It’s good to have someone to talk to, instead of just me and the creep. He got very excited when I said I was bringing a friend – didn’t you, pervert? Asked if we could kiss, and maybe cuddle a bit.

And what did I say to that, pervert? Do you remember? Oh but you don’t say anything, do you? You just sit there, drinking in the humiliation. Well, I’ll tell you again. I told you to fuck off, didn’t I? There’s no way you’re going to see us doing any lesbian stuff. Not for you to get off to, anyway. Actually, we really are lovers, in real life. I’ll probably kiss her the moment we leave your apartment. And then we’ll probably fuck each other in the threesome. But you wouldn’t want to see us fucking anyway, pervert. That’s real sex you see, between two real women. It’s not like those pictures of straight girls gently stroking each other in pristine underwear, wearing lots of make-up and glancing back at the camera. That’s just porn for perverts. The real thing would scare the shit out of you. Probably leave you impotent for days… if you’re not already.

In fact, fuck it, you don’t deserve the full half hour. We’re leaving early. Come on – let’s go and get changed. He’ll just have to sniff extra hard.

Oh – and pervert? Next time you book us? You’re only getting fifteen minutes. Same price. And we’ll decide what time to arrive – you can just wait for us all evening, if we’re running late.

Now you can call us a limo.

Divine retribution

Do not seek to question it.

It’s funny how you sometimes feel let down after a birthday, don’t you think? As if there should have been more to it, somehow? Oh well – there’s always next year. In you go.

Yes, let’s get it sorted.

Still am, I’m afraid to say. Ow!

And she’s used to getting what she wants.

Easy to confuse the two. Wouldn’t it be awful, though, if you visited a beautiful young professional lady for an intensive CBT session, then found yourself spending the next two hours putting positive feelings into practice?

Teenage kicks right through the night

Great song, terrible idea if you have to get up and go to work the next day.

Like, totally.

Oooh. Four, I think. Yes. Four. But strangely, there’s another eight I never reach. I wonder what they’re for?

Actually you do kiss on both cheeks too. That’s the next bit, after she turns round.

I’m beginning to think that bloody die is loaded. But she wouldn’t do that to me. Would she?

Don’t forget to tell her that joke. You know – the one you found on the Internet to show her how witty you are.

Try to see it Her way

Quite a moment here, in your marriage. Because it’s the last time you’ll hear “fetch the canvas bag” without experiencing that stab of fear.

Nothing wrong with a healthy day’s sport. Really, they’re just helping Nature to keep the numbers down.

Another femdom castration caption? Dear me

Hmmm… she’s rather pretty isn’t she? It’ll be fun fantasising about her when you’re lying in bed after your operation. As long as your throat doesn’t ache so much you’re not feeling in the mood, anyway. Something to look forward to!

Lesbian twosome is the closest youll get

God, it can be agonising waiting for a woman to come sometimes, can’t it? Especially when you’ve started drawing blood. Oh well – better get on with it.

Really, you can scream and beg as much as you like. She doesn’t mind at all.

Femdom captions. More femdom captions.

Oi, Google! Over here. More femdom captions. Other world kingdom. Dominatrix. Bandicoots. Anne Hathaway. Kittens doing amusing things on video.

That’s enough site optimization for now. On we go.

The arms only get broken anyway, so it’s a bit silly really.

No danger of this one being talked about in the secretary’s pool. Not as long as she gets that pay rise. And yours too.

It’s better to give than receive. And important always to swallow, too.

Of course, she’s a bit of an amateur and there’s lots she doesn’t know about. Safewords, for instance. She doesn’t know about those. Or care.

Lesbian girlfriends and punishment oh my

Poor Natalie. I hope she gets over it quickly, don’t you?

Just a few captions I tossed off this morning

Sorry, I think there might have been some punctuation missing there.

Contempt. Indifference. Marriage.

I expect you’ll be able to work out why. After all, you’ll have plenty of time to think.

That’s a little unfair. Let’s not forget production of a few dribbles of something that looks like snot and tastes horrible. Ah, ’tis a magical thing the male orgasm. If I remember rightly, anyway.

Femdom caption now with added search terms

I like the way she tries to motivate you not to let him bite off your cock or testicles by telling you she’ll be cross if he does.

It’s just a lot quicker that way. You’re graded on a scale of F to F-, by the way. Best of luck.

Gently brutal

Consent: it’s the most important word in BDSM. Of course Jane will usually say it’s OK – but you should always, always ask.

And yet they’re too small for her boyfriend. What a waste.

I quite enjoy the occasional onesome. It’s just the beating afterwards that bothers me. In fact, I’m reporting tomorrow, so maybe I should watch what I say.

It’s sad that there are still so many people in the economy who have to do such disgusting things for a living. Still, quite a lot of investment bankers have now moved on to other careers, like our friend in this picture.

Men understand men, you see. She’d never have thought of that.

On the fourth day of Christmas

My Mistress gave to me
…four across the buttocks
…three across the knuckles
…two hours in the corner
…and an hour being spanked across her knee.

I expect they’ll find something to amuse themselves with. I wonder if Amanda has any hobbies?

Their grades have been quiite poor, actually. I think your professional integrity requires you to resist revising them for as long as possible.

Ironically, being married to her is a bit more expensive too. Still, too late now.

Beat the shit out of him first argue later

Yes Ellen.

Wasn’t it nice of her to ask him? And isn’t Anne Hathaway just the most…., just the… oh words fail me and I’m not even fit to be unworthy of her. Sigh. SIGH.

Thou shalt not

Not without permission anyway.

And they all lived happily – oh no, hang on, no they didn’t.

Bunny girl dominatrix...always wanted to type that phrase

I think it’s great when husband and wife can work together. But don’t expect her to help out with the housework – remember who’s bringing home the big bucks in this relationship. She earns more money, too.

Cruel dominant lesbian wife...what's not to like?

A G5? A G5 airplane?

You have to time it right. Best to work up to it in stages, taking him a little further each time until that IQ’s just down where you like it.

She's not going to lick it off you know.

You need to learn to respect her rights. Or just respect her.