When she clicks her fingers

I can simultaneously be desperate, lazy and incompetent, can’t I? I thought women were in favour of multitasking.
I think her defeated male opponents are just sore losers.
Teachers love hearing from their former pupils, especially ones who have gone on to develop successful businesses or professional careers.
Try to enter the spirit of the thing by being horribly embarassed and hating every moment. Remember: they’re laughing at you not with you.

Image reminds me of my favourite ever search term, back when this blog was on blogger (you got to see search terms that led ‘readers’ there), which was “tutu humiliation -bishop -desmond”.

He was also going to report them for smoking in a public building, so they use him to dispose of the evidence.
I don’t see what’s crazy about that. I mean it’s a nice car, but…

Control the beast

You should care about her a lot more than she cares about you. But you probably do anyway, even without realising it.
It’s only about 40 minutes walk, in those high heels. And at her very reasonable tribute rates, that’s only a little more expensive than taking… oh, a helicopter, I suppose?
Don’t worry, they’ve all given their consent: in fact, they renew that consent in a lovely little ceremony every morning, just after the 5am work detail finishes.
Oooh – that’ll be your first discussion as a married couple! I wonder if it will feel different?
In the event, Treasure decided to keep the jar. It’s not that she wants to look at the disgusting thing, but she said she likes to know it’s there, you know? And I suppose it has sentimental value for you, too, so maybe she was thinking of that as well.
I hope the boys appreciate how pretty it is, this time, rather than just ripping it off.

Ladies in red

Title says it all…

It’s a long staircase… plenty of room for more memories. Let’s hope these ones are happier, as she does seem awfully unlucky, the poor thing.
Waste not want not… you’ll be boiling that up with some dirty socks for your supper, later.
I think it’ll be a lot easier. Leaves you more time to concentrate on the things that matter.
If it makes her more comfortable, where’s the harm in it?
Sometimes it can be hard to get to the right answer, but it’s always easier when there’s a woman to tell you what it is.
In German, the verb is always at the end of a sentence which must make for tense conversations with disciplinarians.

She must be right

We want to hear happy positive words: specifically your online banking details.
Can you believe the ungratitude – and look at all the effort she’s making, you can see that just from his back.
After all this time not able to get an erection, it’ll be nice to be doing that again. Up – zap! – and down. And up again and – zap! Aaanndd….
There are twenty-four verses but I’ve spared you that.

This is the firm and very fair Tamara Kenworthy. Look at the determination on that face – I can only hope her husband learns to appreciate his luck.

If you’re worried about any darts missing the board and piercing you in the neck or face, don’t be. It’s going to be on a long cord, so it’ll be hanging lower down your body than that, just about over your stomach.
Or you could maintain your dignity and accept a spanking and early bedtime without supper, if you don’t want to demean yourself.

She is your everything

… which is just as well, as you’re her nothing.

Oddly enough, I was actually engaged in SPH play years before I even knew what it was – in the school changing room, for instance. I guess I’m just a natural.
Don’t worry, she generally just takes little light puffs, she doesn’t pull on it to drag it down quickly. Unless she’s had a hard day or something like that, obviously.
In a very real sense, marriage to her is a stress position, so it’s all good practice.
I find being on a leash quite reassuring. My SO got one of those extendable ones – you know, that have a kind of wheel that can pay out to allow the pet to run off some way – and I have to say, I felt almost agoraphobic with it on. Unfortunately, it broke one day when I was fetching it, and after a good hard discussion of why ‘it broke’ I was dragged out of the door on the good old chain.

Bunnies are actually savage little creatures. True fact (read Watership Down). Perhaps that’s what inspires these lovely ladies.
Hmm… looks like Jake was a bit surprised by that! He really shouldn’t have been – anyone could have guessed that Bluetooth connectivity was likely to come up. Now he’s going to get all embarrassed by having his ignorance shown up right there on stage.

Strict Instructions

Sissies aren’t good at lying. Or thinking hard.
They don’t go in for gratuitous cruelty at OWK – professional work should be paid for.
Actually, she’s had this one for years, it’s just that she rarely brings it out.
It does apply, but it’s still a girl who consents, on his behalf. It’s just easier that way.
Actually, having a proper slave to whom she could do whatever she liked ended up making Janice a much nicer person, oddly enough. Maybe it helped her divert her anger and frustations away from her friends and co-workers, I dunno.
Of course, male users in Europe will have to click a box giving permission for the use of their information under GDPR rules, when signing up. Important that everyone’s rights are protected.

She’s got it

And she’s quite prepared to use it, so stop arguing and bend over.

There’s obviously no inherent contradiction in describing something as both ‘a traditional costume’ and ‘a spanking dress’. Just ask the ladies or – when they’ve finished standing in the corner – the men of the Czech Republic.
It’s shocking the state some of these railway station toilets get into. Thank goodness there are public-spirited people like her prepared to step up and do something about it.
At least she mentioned it, first. It’s actually quite offensive, the way so many women consider castrated males’ bodies almost to be public property – just reaching out for a little pat without asking permission.
Ironically enough, those discussions tend to be anything but ‘instant’, often going on for hours.
See, that’s a Mars/Venus thing right there. The male naturally focuses on the physical cause of his pain but the woman looks beyond these trivial mechanical explanations for the underlying psychological reason. Like during a beating: it’s not the whip she’s cracking across your back that’s hurting you, it’s your own behaviour.
I have follow-up questions… Let’s hope she doesn’t consider them impertinent – oh, who am I kidding? Let’s hope she does.

Up to her

How can the shopping trip be over when your credit cards are all still below their limits?
Make sure you get a receipt. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, but £20 is four times your weekly allowance and she doesn’t want you to have to face that kind of temptation.
Men who try reading snip-lit are often disappointed – expecting it to be full of descriptions of vicious gadgets and gore. But women are actually much more interested in the character development. Sure, she’s tied him to the bed and she’s slowly castrating him, but how is that going to make her feel?
It’s actually quite common for the woman to provide most of the love in the relationship.
Oh, and that scene you wrote where she’s standing on your back? Just be a love and make sure there’s a firm hand-hold out of camera shot, will you?
Look at that happy face. Isn’t that worth just a little pain, hmm? Of course it is. So having established that, if instead it’s a lot of pain she inflicts, we’re really only haggling about the price, not the basic principle, right?

Far and wide of the mark

Regular ‘readers’ of this blog who actually bother to look at the words, instead of just beating off to the pictures of pretty ladies looking stern, will realise that much of its ‘humour’ is inspired by the style of Gary Larson’s cartoon The Far Side.

Where ‘inspired’ in this context means “a pathetic and embarassing attempt to publish femdom porn in a manner that is spuriously justified”

This week’s ‘special’ (no, not your monthly ‘special’, you have to ask Mistress for that) is a collection of captions that are particularly blatant rip-offs of close homages to that style. Without, obviously, either (a) infringing anyone’s intellectual property rights or (b) being funny.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I get paid just as much either way.

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