gloves – Page 3 – Contemplating the divine

Violent sexual imagery

… and I just want to check none of you would be terribly offended by that?*

I think he might have forgotten, actually. Hope they’re not too upset.

I’d like to hear the good news, very, very slowly?

As submissive as she wants, in practice.

I don’t know what I was thinking…

Men have too much stuff. Most men do, anyway. I have an iron and a mop I’m very proud of… otherwise pretty minimalist.

* Warning: American or other readers familiar with Peter Capaldi only as the twelth doctor might find themselves disturbed by this. Possibly even ‘extremely miffed’.

Servility costs nothing

(although finding someone to whom to be servile can run to several hundred pounds an hour, in my experience)

This is something many men still have to learn. Just because a woman chooses to wear something sexy, you can’t assume she’s doing so for your pleasure.

Any fundamentalist religious types who don’t believe in female supremacy might care to meditate on why the Divine Being provided males with testicles in such a handy container, and then wired them stright into the pain centres. Don’t you think She’s given us a bit of a clue, there?

Mis-statement I’d like to forget?

One day he’s going to have to give up the thing that matters most to him. Her.

Yeah, the usual order.

Bring me to my knees

Mistress Chrissie always does.

Witchcraft? Oh what nonsens

Apparently, they’ve just discovered a new treatment that prevents testicular cancer altogether. My SO has arranged for me to have it next week – wasn’t that thoughtful of her?

Could be the solution to our over-stretched prison service. I happen to know several ladies in London who own cells, cages and suchlike – they should get in touch with the Home Office, offer to help out.

She does extras. Tip her enough and she’ll even fake laughing at your jokes.

She’s making mushroom surprise.

You’ve got me pretty deep baby

I can’t figure out your watery love

She can help you deal with feelings of guilt, too.

I’ve never seen the point of masturbation gloves, to be quite honest. I mean why buy a special item of clothing that you’re almost never going to wear?

You could try to bluff your way out. Or grovel. I think I’d go with grovel… but that’s just me.

Nice to have something to think about, to take your mind off how much it’s going to fucking hurt.

Always consensual. It’s rule number 1. Well, in my relationship it’s actually rule number 286, but you know what I mean.

Since love is blind, then from the mind, all womankind should rout them.

… because she hates men.

It’s nice when newlyweds have pet names for each other. But ‘bully’ just isn’t appropriate. ‘Boss’ is a good one – he could try that, maybe?

I’m glad she’s taking precautions because some itching powders can be really nasty. But see those gloves? That’s safe BDSM play. She’ll be fine.


Oh – stop worrying! They’re not going to starve to death or anything! This blog can’t abide excessively violent scenes, you know that. No: they’ll die of thirst long before they starve.

Let’s hope this one turns out better than the previous 117. But if not, that’s valuable knowledge too. Science: it’s all about reproducibility of the results.

Very lightly. Safe, sane, consensual – remember?