Category: Felicitations

Women of consequence

You often hear it said that women don’t really care about cock size and that’s certainly been my experience. Most women I’ve dated have made clear to me that the size of my cock is of no interest or practical significance whatever, as far as they are concerned.
In the modern world, men have to learn to be supportive if they want to remain useful.
Oh, you can stick with being Number 13. You’re already among the luckiest men alive, to be one of her paypigs, so I don’t think you need to worry about anything bad happening.
Men don’t really do irony. Screaming and begging for mercy, that’s what they do.

Tamara Kenworthy there… oh, Tamara Kenworthy.

Who is also the lovely Samantha Alexander, here being delightful and non-dominational in a video introduced by (formerly Strict Miss) Zoe Page. So regrettably vanilla, although so captivating in appearance and voice and the line “We’re not in Chesterfield any more” gets extra points for Britishness. Does anyone know if the other lady, Charlotte Elizabeth, is also a domme? She looks kinda dommey.

Now he has to endure that agonising pause while he awaits her reply. She’s really good at agonising pauses.
How could you not, when she smiles so sweetly?

Unassertiveness training

Well, if she’s fine with it, I suppose you can just carry on twitching!
Not quite sure what she’s saying here… but just go along with it.
If all else fails ‘being male’ is usually a safe bet, although any dommes sessioning with me should be warned I barely qualify. Fortunately ‘being annoying’ works too.
Why would anyone want to be ‘liberated’ from… from… I mean, isn’t she? Don’t you think?
They’re betting on the outcome: loser’s slave gets a double beating. Which might not seem fair – seeing as the slave doesn’t actually get to position the ships or choose the locations of the salvos – but it’s not supposed to be.

Lovely Cruella shoot there, for once not in an abandoned industrial wasteland but instead an abandoned country house. If you haven’t checked Cruella lately, by the way, you should do: Andy has been fantastically active over the last few months. There must be a female standing over the lazy little sod with a whip because he’s put up lots of free and paid-for (PDFs of magazines) content. And you no longer need the bizarrely unobtainable ‘Cruella Card’ for the latter: just, y’know, money.

You could try pushing her boundaries – maybe she’ll crack eventually.

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.
She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.
Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.
Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.
It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.
Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

Sexual inequality

Oh, those grabber machines… they can be such an exercise in frustration.
Their buy-one-get-one-free offers are pretty good, but they had to abandon their no-questions-asked policy on taking back damaged goods, as too many dommes were abusing it.
You’ve got to be careful with the wording of hard limit lists. For example, mine rules out blow torch play, but it turns out welding arcs are actually hotter! Oh well, live and learn.
It’s easy to tell them apart – his helmet reads ‘other gimp’.
It might all sound complicated but actually, it’s a lot easier to learn Czech than… well: refusing to learn Czech. You’ll see. Don’t worry about making grammatical and other mistakes at first: the ladies expect that; in fact they rather enjoy pointing out those little errors.
The trutch can be painful, but not usually quite as painful as lies.

Strictly controlled

It’s actually an important sign of how well a relationship is developing, when a couple can both be in the bathroom at the same time without embarassment. I can still remember the first time the woman who became my SO came into the bathroom to pee, while I was there. I wanted to leave, but I was much too firmly tied in position to go anywhere, and as the ring gag prevented me saying anything, I just had to lie there while she did her business – which I found quite distasteful at the time, but it was the first of many such intimate moments and nowadays it just seems routine.
But if you don’t, then there’s ‘fear of missing out’ so really you don’t have any easy options.
It takes a lot of control and self-discipline to be a ballerina, so laundry boy’s going to have to up his standards to meet theirs. Good of so many of them to make the effort to help help him see how he needs to improve, especially after a long hard rehearsal.
Ironically enough, she actually does believe that all men should be treated equally and with exactly the same degree of dignity.
Don’t worry: Sami won’t do anything unless her owner lets her.
My own subconscious often seeks out brutal punishment beatings, usually by making me behave in an “irritating” manner without any conscious intent to do so. Funny things, minds. Even male ones, which must be relatively simple.

Under her tutelage

I’ll confess I don’t understand husbands who don’t do as they’re told. Do they have something better to do?
This could be the beginning of a beautiful obedience.
In my experience those situations are rare, although my SO has frequently expressed her profound regrets that I’m such a useless, annoying, unattractive and tedious piece of shit.
I think the idea that there might be a universe in which I have sex with someone like her calls the many-worlds explanation of quantum phenomena into serious doubt. I mean, Nazis winning WW2 sure, dinosaurs living on in Australia why not… but there have to be limits.
Hmm… not sure I’ve quite grasped the difference. Maybe try the first again?
Fortunately, she’s not run out of effort.
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