Boxing stupid

Yes, it’s Boxing Day. A day I have come to realise is culturally specific to the UK and a few other places that are a bit like the UK, but not as damp and with fewer bat-tunnels. It’s one of those phrases that non-British people often fail to understand, like ‘having a fag in the back alley’ (you can also be a fag, for an older boy at boarding school, of course); or making sure ‘your child always has a rubber in his schoolbag’, as the teachers don’t provide them, or ‘letting some woman piss in your ring-gagged mouth’, which is just an idiomatic way of saying you’ll take her advice (“Oh, I don’t know which movie to go and see, darling: just ring-gag my jaw wide open and you can piss in my mouth, OK?”)*

Anyway, traditionally a day for tidying up after the excesses of the day before, although some people are more active: many hunts go out on Boxing Day, for example, with whips cracking and horns blaring as they pursure their terrified quarry across the fields, and some hardy souls even have a tradition of jumping naked into the sea, here in Britain on one of the coldest days of the year. My SO has very thoughtfully signed me up for all three of these festive activities, so I’ve no time for a themed post, just the usual dross.

Forget Kurt. Well… don’t forget him, obviously: he still needs his laundy done and his appartment cleaned. But the important thing is that your chastity regime should be right for you and that’s what she’s focused on.
Wow, tough situation! Thank goodness she’s there for him.
Looks like babe brought a pineapple, though, and I’m sure there are some bits of that that could be put to good use.
She was a little disappointed that Dr Taylor insisted on anesthetising you for the procedure, but there’ll be plenty of time later, when you’ll have the feeling restored in all of the bits of your body that remain attached.
I booked a ‘mean date’ session with a sex worker and she didn’t even show up! Wonderful. It’s so rare for someone just to ‘get me’ like that.
Some men find it hard to adapt to a female supremacist work environment, but it’s actually very straightforward as long as you just follow a few simple rules – or a lot of complicated rules, if that’s what she prefers.

* All right, I made that last one up. I make a lot of stuff up, here. But you should try it, I mean you never know, right? And there are never any good movies around, just after Christmas, so it’s good to find alternative ways of entertaining yourselves.

Subordinate clauses

It’s pay to play. Except when it’s ‘don’t you dare play but pay anyway’.
There were great hopes for the ‘living crash test dummy’ programme, when it was set up, but it turned out to provide data of limited medical usefulness in studying brain damage because of course by female standards, males’ brains are already damaged.
Just like my wedding night… except my blushing bride wasn’t actually in the same room as me.
Thank goodness it’s only a hypothetical question. I don’t object in principle, but can’t she see I’m busy with the ironing?
Music hath charms.
Oh… I remember this occasion. Such a bad time to sneeze.

Managing directrices

Their ‘at your desk’ service is very popular. Alternatively, they can just take control of your male employees remotely and sort the problem out that way, but most of their users prefer to watch them work in person.
Well… OK. Sounds pretty standard to me. Do they have good wi fi?
He hasn’t been told himself yet, so I expect he’s eager to hear your guesses.

The wonderful, clever and lovely Tiffany Naylor, who nayled me good and proper a few years back. I still have the warm glow.

There’s always extras. Still, probably worth it for the talented Sven. If she enjoys card games, for example, he could play Gin Rummy all evening and poker all night.
They’re not designed that way, but why not give it a go?
Just as long as she understands that she can’t force you to do anything your wife’s not comfortable with.

A woman scorning

with hellish fury…

NB: I believe there are still some problems with the antivirus thing preventing people posting comments. Obviously the fault of a male somewhere and I hope he gets his comeuppance. If you request access, I will approve and then your IP address goes on an approved list and you should be OK.

Always a good idea to have a best man who’s a better man than you. And his jokes will be something to chuckle over, when you’re sweeping up the mess after he and your lovely bride have departed for the honeymoon.
Fortunately, it’s not a recurrent condition… unless you annoy them again, obviously.
What Mistress doesn’t know about can’t hurt, surely? Or can it?
You might say she has an electrifying effect on the men she meets. That would be a terrible mistake and you would bitterly regret saying it, but you can if you really want to.
I find making choices difficult. Fortunately, I am rarely presented with any, these days.
Kitten likes to focus on the important things in her life. You’re no longer among them.

Don’t you dare

I never do. Never been much of a risk-taker, unless you count marrying my SO.

It’s scurrying time.
They’re planning to get together regularly.
She’s hoping to break into movies. Not necessarily castration movies, obviously, but if the offers come in…
If you’re not convinced by her argument here, don’t worry: she can help you come to a fuller understanding.
Reminiscent of that time a whole nest of scorpions infested the OWK Prison. Hard to imagine where they came from, given there aren’t any scorpions in the Czech Republic, but I expect there’s a perfectly sensible explanation.
They also serve, who only writhe and scream.

Don’t make her ask you twice

It wasn’t really a request in the first place.

The world looks different, seen through tears. Often a lot clearer, oddly enough.
Of course, later, historians would debate whether ‘the lab leak hypothesis’ was actually a correct description of the cause, many (such as Sonia Lucysdaughter in her book They Had it Coming Anyway) preferring the ‘Some male moron probably fucked up, as usual’ hypothesis.
She’s struggling to keep control of herself.
If anyone’s thinking she’s only giving away someone else’s money, you haven’t really got the findomme thing. That’s Jerk-off’s wallet, so the money in it is hers, whatever you (or indeed Jerk-off) might think. Incidentally, Jerk-off’s name is going to change soon, as it doesn’t really suit his new lifestyle.

I read somewhere that modern AIs hallucinate things, so any AI femdom programme might punish you mercilessly for things you never even did! Yum…
And your parents will be gone long before Simon and Olly arrive, later.

We know that the Furies do not come uninvited

In fact, you usually have to pay them. After sending a polite introductory email, and confirming on the day.

You might have an opinion on the subject, but not one that’s different from hers, surely?
It’s good they provide an alternative activity for those slaves not up to the hard labour. My SO always allows me a second option if there’s anything I don’t want to do: I can take a beating and do it after that.
There’s bound to be some wear and tear on the agency’s stock. You know what girls are like.
If you haven’t tried wearing a shock collar, you should try it just once. If you decide you don’t like it, just tell her.
If you have any concerns about the course of treatment she’s proposing, do feel free to burst into tears and start pleading hysterically.
She’s accepting the award on his behalf because he’s… erm… well, he’s not able to be there in person, anyway. Although maybe some of him is, in her handbag, if the rumours are true.

Implacably romantic

Ah…. the holidays are over. So much laundry to do, so many ‘thank you for the fuck’ postcards to send to her holiday beaux. But it’s good to be back to abnormal.

“Even”? Ohh….
This (tiresomely) repeated theme I run here, of dommes getting bored during foot or shoe worship is thoroughly inaccurate, of course. One of my former dommes used to say she loved extended shoe worship play – it gave her a chance to catch up on all her social media.
Nothing like being fucked up the arse and in the mouth by a gang of big hairy men to cure that irrational fear of gay sex. At the very least, it can turn it into a rational fear and it might even be the start of something beautiful.
Whichever kind Mistress Mina wants, I would suggest. But he might be limited to marques that don’t involve a lot of plosive consonant sounds, given the ball-gag.
Nothing unusual about feeling a bit nervous before getting married. It’s like going to the dentist… as soon as you’re strapped to the chair and you realise the dentist is planning to use a manual drill on your teeth and she’s not giving you anaesthetic, it’s too late so you might as well just lie back and scream so she can enjoy it.
Not illegal. It’s OK to own a cattle prod, as long as you don’t use it on animals, because there are animal cruelty laws preventing that.

You made the rules and you could not see

you made a life out of hurting me.

Males always have disgusting things in mind. It’s not their fault (but that’s no reason to let them off a beating for it) – they are disgusting.
Contrary to the stereotype about women’s sexual preferences, findommes tend to want to skip the foreplay of little teasing gifts and just get straight into deep penetration of their partners’ bank accounts.
She’s going to be hanging around in lingerie a lot from now on. It’s just her making sure, to show how she feels about you.
I was about to ask whether there’s anything worse than having a lovely pair of shoes when your chain’s just too short for your lips to reach them… but there are worse things, obviously. Many, many worse things – as my SO has been kind enough to teach me, over the years.
This could explain some of the apparently random and heartless decisions global companies have taken in recent years, actually. Maybe I’ll write something for the Harvard Business Review.
Must be nice for Kate and her boy, being ‘out’. I’ve had to read up about epilepsy, because that’s our cover story if anyone ever sees me writhing around on the floor gasping incoherently after saying the wrong thing to my SO (or looking like I might be about to). Still, I suppose that’s a small price to pay for living the fantasy in reality.