Category: caption

Heavenly beings

If there is, I’m sure it’s a problem that won’t take her long to sort out.
You know, true connoisseurs can tell from just one sniff which mistress pissed in their wine, and what she had to eat over the last 24 hours.
Actually, he has a sneaky plan to take an emetic and vomit it out, so he’s smiling inside. It’s great, being a submissive, isn’t it? Imagine how awful it would be to have a different fetish, one for which you didn’t have to suffer.

Yes, her. But her web site seems to have last been updated in 2019, so alas…

She puts a lot of effort into it too – I hope you’ll be suitably grateful, once you’re able to speak again.
Callers can end up spending a lot of time on hold, listening to annoying music broken by an occasional recorded message assuring the caller that all their operatives are currently busy or can’t be bothered to take a call and that his call is utterly unimportant to them.
Some people say it’s cruel. Others say ‘Yeah, sure it is. And?’

Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve

Just a few extras to celebrate today’s events in the UK.* Which are a bit uninspiring but at least the leading candidates are under eighty years old and not from parties established to defend Vichy’s fascist sympathisers, so there’s that. I hope all male readers of this blog take sensible advice from someone of the more intelligent sex before voting, and indeed before doing anything else. If you don’t, how would you know whether she approves or not?

* Yes, yes, Americans, I know you declared your independence 248 years ago today making it a special day for you too. Well done you. You don’t have to keep going on about it, you know.

Someone to look up to

That’s the nice thing about really painful experiences in session – you just have to react naturally.
The Collective believes that all property, including males, should belong to the group as a whole. All citizens are equal – and all slaves are equal too, I suppose.
Don’t you just hate waiting until she’s finished on the phone? There are all those moments when she seems to be saying goodbye, then it’s ‘oh – one more thing!’. I find it very frustrating.
You can play Jabba the Hut… some sort of sluglike vermin, anyway.
Don’t worry, the prep isn’t at all uncomfortable. Just a shave, which might tickle a bit, then securing your hands and ankles firmly to the trolley, which many men find to be quite cosy and reassuring.
What do dommes do to unwind? This, it seems.

She’s got it

And she’s quite prepared to use it, so stop arguing and bend over.

There’s obviously no inherent contradiction in describing something as both ‘a traditional costume’ and ‘a spanking dress’. Just ask the ladies or – when they’ve finished standing in the corner – the men of the Czech Republic.
It’s shocking the state some of these railway station toilets get into. Thank goodness there are public-spirited people like her prepared to step up and do something about it.
At least she mentioned it, first. It’s actually quite offensive, the way so many women consider castrated males’ bodies almost to be public property – just reaching out for a little pat without asking permission.
Ironically enough, those discussions tend to be anything but ‘instant’, often going on for hours.
See, that’s a Mars/Venus thing right there. The male naturally focuses on the physical cause of his pain but the woman looks beyond these trivial mechanical explanations for the underlying psychological reason. Like during a beating: it’s not the whip she’s cracking across your back that’s hurting you, it’s your own behaviour.
I have follow-up questions… Let’s hope she doesn’t consider them impertinent – oh, who am I kidding? Let’s hope she does.

Come along, darling

Don’t dawdle.

Oooh… 50% of the way there! That’s closer than I’ve ever got.
It’s not as high-margin a business as you might expect, but fortunately some of her labour costs are very low indeed. Speaking of which, have you negotiated your salary yet? No? OK.
From the look of the sea, they’ve got ages… which is just as well, because Julie can be quite slow to get aroused, unless she can use her cattle prod.
Every poet should have a muse. This lucky lad has two.
And let’s not have any old-fashioned patriarchal nonsense about ‘earning’ it, OK? It’s not your salary, not now you’re married.
You might find it hard to imagine you’ll forget you’re wearing something as heavy and bulky as that, but believe me: once the nipple clamps go on and the scrotal ring is properly anchored to your ankle chain, you’ll hardly notice it.

Up to her

How can the shopping trip be over when your credit cards are all still below their limits?
Make sure you get a receipt. It’s not that she doesn’t trust you, but £20 is four times your weekly allowance and she doesn’t want you to have to face that kind of temptation.
Men who try reading snip-lit are often disappointed – expecting it to be full of descriptions of vicious gadgets and gore. But women are actually much more interested in the character development. Sure, she’s tied him to the bed and she’s slowly castrating him, but how is that going to make her feel?
It’s actually quite common for the woman to provide most of the love in the relationship.
Oh, and that scene you wrote where she’s standing on your back? Just be a love and make sure there’s a firm hand-hold out of camera shot, will you?
Look at that happy face. Isn’t that worth just a little pain, hmm? Of course it is. So having established that, if instead it’s a lot of pain she inflicts, we’re really only haggling about the price, not the basic principle, right?

Dominant narratives

Try to keep the explanation brief when you do get the chance; she’s going to want to get on.
Thank goodness someone with common sense has stepped in to take charge.

This wonderful lady is Miss Tamara Kenworthy, also known as Samantha Alexandra (but not in any pictures you and I are allowed to look at).

It’s a good thing Kitty’s there for her, because she’s going to need comforting as she tries to adjust to a life without a male partner. Kitty’s good at that.
Ah, that’ll be why she’s not letting you masturbate, then. Feel free to ask if you want a half-way quickie wank: I’m sure she’ll give it careful consideration.
They do say there are no ponts for coming second, but then girls often dislike it when you come first too, so you can’t win. Not that it’s a competition – as my first date pointed out when I challenged her to race me to orgasm (I would have won, if she hadn’t cheated by kicking me so hard in the balls).
Thoroughly and at length.

A fairy tale romance

A fantasy-themed post, so unlike the gritty realism that normally charcterises this blog’s witterings.

Oddly, when Sissylocks later experienced the three paddles, she didn’t like any of them at all.
Well, a 50% chance of a swift painless stomp anyway. Depends on how the coin falls. But don’t worry: they’d never use their witchcraft to try to influence the outcome of a fair wager like that.
What a lovely story. I hope it never ends.
I don’t think those are bears. Bears are usually bigger, hairier and have beards.

The part of Goldilocks in this image was played by the magnificent… oh, you know who that is don’t you? Of course you do. But have you met her and sessioned with her? I have! Lucky lucky me.

If you do get the feeling that the cats might have it, try not to wiggle it or anything, or they’ll start playing with it. Cats can be cruel like that, but they don’t mean any harm: it’s just their natures.
I guess he’s a pup reporter! Sorry…

Someone to look up to

What she doesn’t realise is that I always do my best… it’s just usually rubbish, that’s all. Fortunately, I’ve had a lot of practice at scurrying.
She can resist anything except temptation.
At the OWK there’s always a bucket available, in case one of the slaves feels sick. Usually it’s just the bucket the food comes in, actually.
Of course, I don’t necessarily know that this is actually what happened behind closed doors, and I’m just imagining a scene that happens to fit what I would like it to have been. So… just like the actual series, The Crown, then.
His name won’t go down in the record books along with hers, but his scream will be what a lot of viewers remember, when watching the footage of that historic day. Plus, he got to attend the medal ceremony, curled up and sobbing on the grass by the podium. It did delay his trip to hospital but how many times in your life are you going to be the target of a world-record ball-busting kick?
I guess he was asking for it. But not paying… so unfair.