caption – Contemplating the divine

If you don’t like what I’m sayin’ then won’t you slap my face?

Because I’m bad. And because I’ve been bad.

And she’s *his* everything, so that’s worked out quite well.

Yeah. I mainly look at pervy pictures of women on the Internet for the articles anyway.

Actually, almost anything causes impotence, for a male in a relationship with a sufficiently determined woman. The trick is finding something that temporarily removes it.

Oooh ohh – look at me, I was castrated! Like anyone cares, loser.

Just as well.. her mother’s only topic of conversation seems to be how you don’t deserve her daughter, while when his own ball-gag’s not in, her father only talks about how perfect and wonderful his wife is and how lucky he is to be under her guidance. Family, eh? I’d buckle the ball-gag on myself.

Obviously their fetish play gear isn’t all *entirely* unsuitable for the more serious purposes they have in mind. Some of the whips are painful enough for real use and you can always stamp on fingers or other bits with a good solid pair of boots. They do also wear latex, although mostly in the form of heavy, long aprons for when things get messy, not the skimpy little numbers so beautifully on display here.

There is no hunting like the hunting of man

More scenes from that wholesome and traditional countryside activity: The Hunt.

Now is (once again) the month of Maying!

Fa-la-la-l a –l a -la-lah. Just a quick one, with the divine Miss Taylor-Joy (be still my beaten heart!), to celebrate the turning of the seasons.

Again a post in which I have selected out those captioned images that seem to me to go a leetle too far into whimsy; which I’ll clumsily attempt to justify by sugesting they are in the style – although nothing resembling the same class – as Gary Larson’s brilliant Far Side.

Whip smart

Just to cite one possibility, at random, among so many.

The Honourable Dogbreath-Twattington takes his role very seriously and never reaches a decision without careful thought about the possible consequences of getting it wrong.

Some prefer candles and soft music but they’ve discovered through much experimentation that this is what works for them.

He’ll thank her for it eventually, you’ll see.

Oh, I hate playing the ‘guess what I stepped in’ game. Surprisingly enough, for instance, beetles and slugs taste very similar, despite actually coming from entirely separate phylla of the animal kingdom.

Oooh kerosene play! Quite edgy if you currently have quite a lot of body hair, I understand.

Women’s men

It took a while for me to get used to our D/S dynamic in restaurants. I used to get embarassed at being so publicly submissive – even over what are actually practical and necessary things like, for example, my SO requesting that my food be given a quick whizz in the liquidiser so it can more easily pass through my feeding funnel. But you soon realise that the waitresses just don’t care: they’ve got jobs to do, after all.

I can do some quite spectacular things with it. Just not while having sex. Or at least, spectacular things have occasionally been done to it, by mischievous and highly creative people.

She has a keenly attuned sense of what your needs really are.

She’s got a little whip on which each of the thongs is studded with diamonds cut into sharp little points. Some might think that’s overdoing it, but she thinks it and the marks that it leaves are pretty and as long as she likes it, really who is to question her taste? Not me, certainly.

Form an orderly queue by the stage door…. Hey! I said an *orderly* queue! Look, if you can’t even follow simple instructions, she’s hardly likely to …

An unfair crack of the whip

More captioned images celebrating the delightful ways our superiors can be unreasonable and unfair.

Trying to top from the bottom again, were you? She’s wise to your little power-play.

Try thinking of her needs rather than your own, for a change.

If he correctly picks a yellow one he gets an orgasm. So there’s that to look forward to.

Just remember the two absolute rules: (1) never lie to Mistress and (2) Mistress is always right. As long as your answer conforms to both of those, you should be fine.

She likes it done just right. It never, ever is.

Oh dear. And the punishment was nearly done before that little act of defiance.

Lady Sophia Black, who I can tell you from personal and painful but wonderful experience did the ‘impossible to please’ thing better than any other domme I have ever known.

Unassertiveness training

Well, if she’s fine with it, I suppose you can just carry on twitching!

Not quite sure what she’s saying here… but just go along with it.

If all else fails ‘being male’ is usually a safe bet, although any dommes sessioning with me should be warned I barely qualify. Fortunately ‘being annoying’ works too.

Why would anyone want to be ‘liberated’ from… from… I mean, isn’t she? Don’t you think?

They’re betting on the outcome: loser’s slave gets a double beating. Which might not seem fair – seeing as the slave doesn’t actually get to position the ships or choose the locations of the salvos – but it’s not supposed to be.

Lovely Cruella shoot there, for once not in an abandoned industrial wasteland but instead an abandoned country house. If you haven’t checked Cruella lately, by the way, you should do: Andy has been fantastically active over the last few months. There must be a female standing over the lazy little sod with a whip because he’s put up lots of free and paid-for (PDFs of magazines) content. And you no longer need the bizarrely unobtainable ‘Cruella Card’ for the latter: just, y’know, money.

Category: caption