Sexual inequality

Oh, those grabber machines… they can be such an exercise in frustration.
Their buy-one-get-one-free offers are pretty good, but they had to abandon their no-questions-asked policy on taking back damaged goods, as too many dommes were abusing it.
You’ve got to be careful with the wording of hard limit lists. For example, mine rules out blow torch play, but it turns out welding arcs are actually hotter! Oh well, live and learn.
It’s easy to tell them apart – his helmet reads ‘other gimp’.
It might all sound complicated but actually, it’s a lot easier to learn Czech than… well: refusing to learn Czech. You’ll see. Don’t worry about making grammatical and other mistakes at first: the ladies expect that; in fact they rather enjoy pointing out those little errors.
The trutch can be painful, but not usually quite as painful as lies.

Strictly controlled

It’s actually an important sign of how well a relationship is developing, when a couple can both be in the bathroom at the same time without embarassment. I can still remember the first time the woman who became my SO came into the bathroom to pee, while I was there. I wanted to leave, but I was much too firmly tied in position to go anywhere, and as the ring gag prevented me saying anything, I just had to lie there while she did her business – which I found quite distasteful at the time, but it was the first of many such intimate moments and nowadays it just seems routine.
But if you don’t, then there’s ‘fear of missing out’ so really you don’t have any easy options.
It takes a lot of control and self-discipline to be a ballerina, so laundry boy’s going to have to up his standards to meet theirs. Good of so many of them to make the effort to help help him see how he needs to improve, especially after a long hard rehearsal.
Ironically enough, she actually does believe that all men should be treated equally and with exactly the same degree of dignity.
Don’t worry: Sami won’t do anything unless her owner lets her.
My own subconscious often seeks out brutal punishment beatings, usually by making me behave in an “irritating” manner without any conscious intent to do so. Funny things, minds. Even male ones, which must be relatively simple.

Her guiding hand

No need to try to remember when you last saw it, obviously, as you don’t forget something like that.
Teach a man to fish, he’ll catch fish whenever he feels like it and probably spend most of his time masturbating; brutally cane him whenever he fails to meet his fish quota, you can live off the fishery earnings for life.
Isn’t that more important? I mean, for one thing she’s going to have a lot more orgasms than you would – as will the two lads too – so it’s a net plus, in utilitarian terms.
Honestly, they’ve gone to all this trouble to give you a terrifying, agonising and life-threatening experience… seems churlish to whine about the weather.
But any lady who does actually decide to break a leg should make sure it belongs to someone not in the show.

Wait until she gets home

And if, when she does, she doesn’t come to open the cage, you can wait until she goes out again, too, and then start the whole thing all over again. It helps pass the time.

The occasional spanking can form part of a healthy and mutually-respectful relationship… as well as the sorts of relationships celebrated on this blog too, obviousy.
If it’s any consolation, she is actually wearing silk underwear.
She’s determined to make fetch happen.
It was this or the kennels and that can just be more trouble than it’s worth. All that fuss about how they generally only take dogs and cats… speciesism, that’s what it is.
She needs to develop techniques to relax, maybe take some of the tension away, especially if she’s going to be watching a lot of castrations. I expect going to lie down in the nurse’s room will help.
Apparently, the priest is planning to preach a sermon on practising thankfulness in marriage, which seems very apposite.

City ways

A silly little tale set when Victoria was on the throne, beautifully illustrated by (previously used) images of The Hunteress as precisely the right sort of governess…

“And as you can see, Mr Bartholomew” the young lady continued nervously “I have a full dossier of references, all of them quite satisfactory, I believe.”

The portly gentleman seated opposite her sighed and took off his glasses to polish them.

“I don’t doubt it for a moment, Miss Marlowe, indeed I imagine many of them will be excellent.  However, I have made extensive enquiries and I simply have not been able to locate any vacant situations for a governess of your experience.  My understanding is that many of the more well-to-do families formerly based in London have relocated to the country, given the increasingly caliginous conditions in our great capital.”

He paused, fingering the unopened leather dossier on the table before him.

“And of course, there are the recent increases in tax occasioned by the war in Crimea to consider”, he continued. “Even our landed gentry find themselves compelled to tighten their belts. As an old family friend of your dear, departed father, of course I would do anything in my power to help you find a situation, anything at all, but as you see…”

The young lady nodded slightly forlornly, at his gesture of hopelessness.

“Of course I understand, Mr Bartholomew.  You have been most generous with your time and I am already in your debt, even if your efforts have not borne fruit.  I will – “

“Tell me Miss Marlowe” the gentleman interjected, as if struck by a thought and not hearing her words of thanks.

“Did you ever employ… techniques of physical discipline on your young charges? Corporal punishment, I mean to say?”

The young lady nodded in response.

“Of course, Mr Bartholomew. Of course, one prefers to use more positive methods of encouragement but when called-for, I believe that a sharp dose of the cane is an essential tool of a governess’s art. Particularly for older boys, as I find that girls and younger children respond better to verbal warnings. Boys of 16 or over in particular seem to need to challenge authority and authority, by its nature, must be maintained – by force, if need be.”

“Oh, I quite agree, Miss Marlowe.  Authority without discipline is but an empty threat. But as a young lady of such refined sentiments, do you not find yourself overcome by compassion for your charges and thus unable to wield the rod with the required, umm… severity?”

“Certainly not, Mr Bartholomew” the young lady replied, slightly sharply. “When a lad deserves a severe thrashing, I can assure you I do not spare the rod – no matter what tears or excuses the miscreant deploys. If a flogging is not painful – ideally, unbearably so – it will have little effect. Was that not your experience, as a youth, Mr Bartholomew? I cannot imagine that a successful businessman such as yourself did not learn his self control under the rod of a sufficiently severe governess?”

“Oh, indeed Miss Marlowe, indeed.” Mr Bartholomew replied, shifting slightly in his chair, with a far-away look in his eye. “I am sure that most – if not all – gentlemen who have found success in all professional walks of life in London would say the same.  And it is this that brings me to the proposition I thought to put to you, Miss Marlowe, which I beg you to take in good part even if it is not to your liking: have you ever disciplined an adult – a man, that is?”

“Disciplined a grown man, Mr Bartholomew?” Miss Marlowe replied in astonishment. “You mean with a cane?”

“Mmmm… with a cane. Or tawse, strap, birch… as well as milder forms of correction such as corner time or writing lines.”

The young governess appeared dumbfounded by this unexpected suggestion.

“Well… I’ll confess that no one has ever asked me for such treatment and of course I could hardly inflict it on anyone without such consent, Mr Bartholomew, so I have indeed not had that experience.”

“Oh quite, quite” the gentleman hurriedly agreed. “Consent is most important. However, if you had such consent, do you think you might be able to…?”

The young lady drew herself up in her chair.

“Certainly, Mr Bartholomew. But I do not believe I could do so merely playfully, to help act out some nostalgia for happy childhood days. If a man consents to be beaten then beaten he should be, I believe. Vigorously and without undeserved mercy. The cane should be respected for its power, as should I as its wielder.”

“A most commendable attitude, Ms Marlowe, and one that would strike fear into the heart of any man approaching you with such an offer.  Yet many such men also seek out such fearful tests of their courage, especially if they believe themselves to harbour feelings of guilt. I myself… that is to say, well… I myself…” he trailed off.

“Feelings of guilt, Mr Bartholomew?  Do you mean you have been naughty and need to be punished?”

“Yes… yes very naughty” he admitted, hanging his head.

The young governess’s pretty forehead wrinkled, as she struggled to understand the bizarre turn the conversation had taken.

“So… you are telling me you need to be beaten? Caned? How very extraordinary. And do many men experience this same… compulsion?”

“Quite a few, I believe, Miss Marlowe.  There are… special houses, known to the cognoscenti, where such treatment is administered.  The remuneration for the ladies involved is, I believe, somewhat greater than that available to one in a… a traditional governess position, so to speak. And the hours considerably shorter.”

“I had no idea” Miss Marlowe admitted. “However, as I have no experience of such activities outside a more conventional setting, I hardly think they would consider me a suitable candidate for such a…” and she tailed off, puzzled to see Mr Bartholomew rise from his chair and draw out a long thin item from an umbrella stand in the corner. He handed it to her.

“The cane, you see Miss Marlowe. For a naughty boy.”

The governess examined the cane carefully, testing its weight by tapping one end lightly against her hand.

“Rather a light item, I am afraid to say, Mr Bartholomew. Suitable for a lenient and mild punishment only.  However…” and she stood up to swish the cane through the air, making a whirring sound at which Mr Bartholomew vigorously trembled

“… however, if applied sufficiently firmly and vigorously, I believe it could have a salutary effect. As long as no trousers impede its impact on the target item, of course.”

Now it was Mr Bartholomew’s turn to look dumbfounded.

“My… my… you want me to remove my trousers?” he stammered.

“I do, Sir, and I believe that you understood my instruction quite clearly and are not simply hoping to defer the inevitable. And I believe I heard you use the words ‘very naughty’ earlier, so there should be little doubt in your mind as to what is about to occur.  So… you will remove your trousers and assume the position, Sir. I will not tell you again.”

“Of course, Miss Marlowe” he replied, hurrying to loosen his clothing. “Erm… MISS AULDNEY? I am in a most important meeting. No callers for the next half hour, if you please!”

“Perhaps an hour would be more appropriate” Miss Marlowe added, calmly and professionally appraising the flabby white hindquarters that had obediently been displayed in front of her, and placing herself in precisely the right position behind them. She raised the cane.

***

Later that afternoon

Mr Bartholomew winced as he shifted slightly in his chair.  The additional cushion that Miss Auldney had brought (along with a much needed cup of tea into which he had poured a stiff dose of brandy) was doing little to alleviate the furious burning he was experiencing.  He wondered whether his domestic staff could perhaps obtain a bucket of ice, in which he could spend the evening. And perhaps much of the next day…

He ruefully admitted to himself that Miss Marlowe had spoken nothing but the truth when she denied being impeded by feelings of compassion or tenderness when wielding the rod. Indeed, he wondered whether her vigour and harshness might not be altogether too much for most of the gentlemen who sought out such diversions. She would hardly do, even as a correction specialist, at a house offering a wide range of services but perhaps at a more specialised establishment, for the true devotees of the ‘art’…

He picked up a quill and began to write, taking care to shift in his chair as little as possible as he did so.

“For the Attention of the Honourable Mrs Arbuthnot, Mayfair House of Correction and c.  Dear and most respected lady. You might recall me as ‘Wicked William”, as I have had the pleasure and privilege of visiting your establishment on three thoroughly enjoyable but excrutiatingly painful occasions.  I am writing to introduce a young protegée…”

***

Still later that day, in the early evening

“A governess to adults, Harriet?” Louise asked in puzzlement, as her friend hung up her umbrella and began to remove her mantle. Outside, the carriage that had brought her from the station clattered away into the still night in the quiet country town in which they lived.

“And men pay for such treatment? I never heard of such a thing.”

“It seems that a lot of things we country mice might find find shocking are in uncommon demand in London, my dear” Harriet replied, as she paused for her boots to be unlaced and removed. “And in the absence of regular, that is to say more… educational employment, I believe I must take up Mr Bartholomew’s kind offer.”

“Most peculiar” her friend shuddered. “I hope that you do not become corrupted by the decadent ways of the big city, Harriet, or I would not know what to do with myself.”

Harriet smiled warmly, embracing her friend and planting a warm, loving kiss on her lips. “There is little fear of that, my sweet love.  It would take more than a few London gentlemen with an unhealthy appetite for the lash to move my heart from its resting place, here among simple country folk and our traditional ways.”

She looked down on the gleaming rubber surface of the tightly-clad male who had just removed her boots.  “All the mud removed and the uppers thoroughly polished by morning, gimp! For each speck of dirt, I’ll add an extra week before your next release.”

Their gimp nodded wordlessly and frantically applied his tongue to the mud-splattered items, as Harriet hooked his chain to the ring on the side of the boot-rack.

“Sissy Maid Tina has prepared shepherd’s pie for supper, if you are hungry?” her friend enquired.

Harriet shook her head. “I had a bite at Fenchurch Street station, while awaiting my train.  I simply desire to take myself off to bed, perhaps equipped with a strap-on to ream that new lad’s arse, if you wouldn’t mind tying him down and greasing his anus?”

“Already done”, Louise giggled. “And I thought perhaps we could take him from both ends before fucking each other into oblivion?” And she raised her skirt and petticoat to show a huge polished wooden phallus, waving slightly in Harriet’s direction.

“And we can worry about those Londoners and their strange big-city ways in the morning” she added, taking her friend’s hand in one of hers and leading her into the bedroom, where the dancing candle-light fitfully illuminated the quivering flesh of the youth spread-eagled on the four-poster bed, surrounded by the racks of whips, dildoes and spiked steel restraints that festooned the walls.

THE END

Harriet’s boots. Not as modelled by the Hunteress, I believe, although if she’d like to try them on for me, I’d be happy to sell my house and tribute her the proceeds.

Makes me shiver

Makes me quiver…

What were you thinking? Did you forget your marriage vows? The real ones, I mean, not that nonsense in the church ceremony.
It’s a very fair system; she manages using data. And you’ll just have to manage without.
Make sure you get a doggie suit, not any other animal, though. The caterpillar suits can be hard going over stony ground and fish play is really not recommended in the Czech winter.
They’ll jingle jingle even more when you dance. And you will dance, sissy.
Once you reach your one thousand and fortieth it’s hard to find any one strapping particularly memorable, but she’s going to give it her very best shot to celebrate the anniversary.
He did manage one last publication after entering Her service: Charabdis, P. and Smackmybottom, S. S. (2017) “Dynamic optical scattering as a measure of surface smoothness at nanoparticle scale: applications to boot-polishing”, Annals.Phys. Ltrs. Vol 23, 4462 – 4473.

Dominant narratives

Try to keep the explanation brief when you do get the chance; she’s going to want to get on.
Thank goodness someone with common sense has stepped in to take charge.

This wonderful lady is Miss Tamara Kenworthy, also known as Samantha Alexandra (but not in any pictures you and I are allowed to look at).

It’s a good thing Kitty’s there for her, because she’s going to need comforting as she tries to adjust to a life without a male partner. Kitty’s good at that.
Ah, that’ll be why she’s not letting you masturbate, then. Feel free to ask if you want a half-way quickie wank: I’m sure she’ll give it careful consideration.
They do say there are no ponts for coming second, but then girls often dislike it when you come first too, so you can’t win. Not that it’s a competition – as my first date pointed out when I challenged her to race me to orgasm (I would have won, if she hadn’t cheated by kicking me so hard in the balls).
Thoroughly and at length.

Far and wide of the mark

Regular ‘readers’ of this blog who actually bother to look at the words, instead of just beating off to the pictures of pretty ladies looking stern, will realise that much of its ‘humour’ is inspired by the style of Gary Larson’s cartoon The Far Side.

Where ‘inspired’ in this context means “a pathetic and embarassing attempt to publish femdom porn in a manner that is spuriously justified”

This week’s ‘special’ (no, not your monthly ‘special’, you have to ask Mistress for that) is a collection of captions that are particularly blatant rip-offs of close homages to that style. Without, obviously, either (a) infringing anyone’s intellectual property rights or (b) being funny.

Enjoy. Or don’t. I get paid just as much either way.

Perfectly unreasonable

Lots of men experience sudden, irrational fears the night before their wedding. Or rational fears, sometimes, too.
Feelings of inferiority are her therapeutic speciality.
Oh, poor thing. Maybe she should drive off to find a chemists’ shop to buy some antihistamine – it’s best to deal with these things early, before the bites become inflamed.
I’ve tried paying for the ‘realistic girlfriend experience’ a few times, but it’s really a waste of money. They often don’t turn up and even if they do, we usually go to a bar or something where they get off with someone else and leave without me.
‘Cos she’s her laaaydeee… and you’re their male.
Erm… that spanking went without a hitch…no. This painting’s a bit kitsch… Oh dear.
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