March 2025 – Contemplating the divine

The real religion of the world comes from women much more than from men – from mothers most of all, who carry the key of our souls in their bosoms.

Yes, it’s the day* to celebrate mothers. Loving, nurturing and kind to their offspring, brutally savage and eternally contemptuous of their sons-in-law. The latter relationship is more this blog’s focus, for obvious reasons.

Many subs who get off on the idea of punishment, not to mention being humiliated and treated with contempt, don’t realise how much more effectively those can be provided by a woman of more advanced years, who has had longer to hone her opinions and approach towards the male sex.

She has an excellent reason: she dislikes you intensely.

Oh don’t read things into the captions that aren’t there! Of course she didn’t murder him! He died of nervous exhaustion, poor chap.

Obviously you shouldn’t have to pay full session rates, just for cleaning out her Mum’s garage. Ask for a 40% discount, at least – and don’t settle for less than 5%.

It’s good that mothers and daughters phone each other so frequently.

Don’t worry, she’s not going to be a burden. In fact, she can help a lot with the housework: checking all the tasks have been done satisfactorily, drawing up schedules and providing advice and encouragement wherever needed.

* Some of you might be wondering why we’re doing this today, when everyone knows Mothers’ Day is in May? If so, it’s probably because you’re American and have forgotten there are what we call ‘other places’ in the world, and some of those don’t do things in the same way you do. Don’t worry, it’s an easy mistake to make, especially if you’re working with the disadvantage of only having a male brain. Try taking a trip somewhere ‘else’ to broaden your horizons – I hear the Gulf of Mexico is nice at this time of year.

To make no mistakes is not in the power of man

But fortunately correcting them is in the power of woman.

The only ‘JOI’ I’ve ever needed is “Oh all right, then, I suppose so but be quick and don’t make any mess, OK?”

They tend to be nervous, skittish beasts, understandably as they are right at the bottom of the food chain.

If none of them will own up, I guess she’ll just have to beat it out of them. Or at the other extreme, they might be brave and have an ‘I am Spartacus’ moment.

Go on, don’t be churlish. Look: she’s even colour-co-ordinated the accessories.

It’s not the despair. I can take the despair. It’s the hope I can’t stand. *John Cleese, Clockwise.*

The gimp and the simp – a poem

A silly little thing (I know I am but what are you? Oh no, hang on…). Anyway, just a poem, not worth taking up a whole posting slot, so up it goes as an extra.

“I don’t know how you cope”

Said the gimp to the simp

“With her constant demands for more cash.

Don’t you long when you meet her, to kiss shoes to greet her

Or serve as a tray for her ash?”

“It’s my kink and that’s that.”

Said the simp to the gimp

“But your lifestyle is hardly ideal.

Caged or chained all alone, with no life of your own

Till you’re summoned to crawl at her heel.”

“I’m her pet and I’m proud!”

Said the gimp to the simp

And he showed off his monogrammed collar.

“You’re just moneyslave 9; when you’re typing online

All she sees is the sign of the dollar.”

“At least I can type”

Said the simp to the gimp

Showing fingers splayed out, with a grin.

“I can move my hands freely and stand on my feet – see?

My meals don’t come out of a tin.”

“Right!” – started the gimp

But his voice was soon stopped

By a ball gag, inserted at speed.

“Your mouth’s not to bicker, you boot and floor-licker!”

And the gimp was dragged off on a lead.

“Well that finished fast”

The simp chortled in glee

Then with shock he caught sight of his phone.

“Too slow to reply – that’s three times now, so bye!”

And he sat there, all sad and alone.

That’s what she said

Don’t make her say it twice.

I’m sure Julie won’t mind at all but it’s always polite to ask.

My SO likes to play this game and would you believe it, I’ve lost 23 times in a row. What are the odds?* I would say I’m very unlucky but I’m so lucky to be married to such a wonderful lady, that would be churlish.

* Just over one in ten million. “Do the maths” – as a Governess I used to visit used to say – “then bend over the punishment bench so I can do the marking”.

Many relationships that end in divorce could actually be saved if only the woman were prepared to make her husband do the work.

There’s usually a little crowd of embarassed-looking beta-boys waiting outside that club, so you can pass the time in awkward chats with them. You can bond over lucky you all are to have the opportunity perhaps to be useful to your goddesses, boyfriend jealousy issues, how you deal with chafing from your chastity belts and all that kind of subbie stuff. As long as she’s given permission, obviously.

The divine Mistress Akella, there.

It’s about time an A-list star called out these creepy publications that use images of actresses without permission, to titillate their sad and perverted readership. This blog applauds Ms Scarlett’s courage in speaking out.

Minds immeasurably superior to ours

And slowly and surely, they drew their plans against us. A beautiful but somehow… disturbing sight. *

More science fiction.

* Yes, yes, I know I’ve quoted War of the Worlds before in the title of one of these. But not the Jeff Wayne version, right? Wee-oo, wye-oh, we-UHHH!

His purpose in life

Yeah, she’s very generous with her slaves’ time. Well, there’s plenty and it’s not like she needs or wants it all.

Wow – it doesn’t get better for a submissive than that! Well… maybe just a little better.

I once told a domme in session I was too cold and she promised to warm me up with her paddle, but after that I was still cold – just in pain, too. Of course, I didn’t tell her, after she’d been so thoughtful.

The ‘sadistic dentist’ trope is so annoying to the profession. A survey found that only 42% of female dentists gained sexual pleasure from inflicting intense pain, which is actually slightly below the percentage in the general female population. And of those, no more than a third said they fantasised about having a man helpless in their chair and drilling for fun. So the next time you’re visitng for a routine check-up just try to remember that and relax, OK?

Kitten wouldn’t *mind* giving a pay piggie like you a blow job but she’s read up on it and apparently that’s only for sugar daddies and she does so want to do this right.

You must submit to supreme suffering in order to discover the completion of joy

John Calvin said that, kinky little slut that he was.

I hope that isn’t real fur. It’s cruel, you know.

Oh, I hate sissy play-dates, don’t you? Sometimes I’d rather just be left at home, chained up on the back porch. But my preferences don’t enter into it.

I don’t see what isn’t sexy about any of that.

He should take her seriously. Very, very seriously.

You could ask. What’s the worst that can happen?

Still in beta

Just a silly thing. See this too, if you like this sort of nonsense (and haven’t used up all the computer time she allows you).

Dungeon Creep 2 Early Access – Patch Notes for V0.8 update.

General

Game set-up now includes ‘Forced Bi’ options:OFF, MILD or ON. Affects gameplay in minor ways throughout but Missions “Boris” and “Hanging out with the boyfriends” are unavailable if Forced Bi is OFF and Missions “Drinks with the rugby team” and “Bring out the gimp” unavailable if set to OFF or MILD. Four new NPCs will be available as lesbian girlfriends to Mistresses if Forced Bi is set to OFF: Kitten, Lucy, Treasure and Brenda.
Real-time detentions. If this option is selected, detention, corner time and line-writing activities must be completed in a single sitting. Lines must be written continuously and during any corner time, sitting at desk with hands on hand and similar immobilisation, Player will be required occasionally to respond to required key-presses to confirm his presence. After an initial warning, a failed detention / line-writing task will reset and the game will not proceed until it is completed. This option may not be turned off during an uncompleted task.
Slaves may now be marked with tattoos (5 – 15 pain) or branding (70 – 90 pain). Marks may strengthen ownership bonds with Mistresses or simply confer humiliation (+10 to +20, permanent).
Mistress’s armpits are now playable body parts and can be shaved, kissed and licked. Mistresses can use armpits to carry out the Smothering action, similar to hands, and armpits may be Sweaty. Selecting ‘Armpits’ as a player fetish in the character selection phase confers triple Arousal for all armpit-related tasks and increases Ridicule from all NPCs.

Map

New area: Forest walk, featuring an extended pony track with hills (minimum 70 stamina recommended), mud puddles and paintball arena (see Missions, below).
New Area: Garbage Bins. Used in Daily Cleaning Tasks and Missions Obedience Training with Mistress Rita and Extreme Slave Feeding. Garbage bins require Cleaning, contents can be carried and slaves can be locked into bins. Note that garbage bins are among the places a discarded Chastity Key may be found.
New layout: floor grill in Main House Level 0 now allows feeding, pissing and mocking actions to be performed down onto slaves in cells 4 – 8 in Dungeon Level -1.
Three new bedrooms (Red Room, Spider’s Web and Cucky Corner) in Main House.
Increased the number of wall intersections that are classified as Punishment Corners.

Missions

New Mission (Level 5): Muddy Footprints. During an ordinary floor-scrubbing task, player notices a trail of muddy footprints. The player must identify and track down the Mistress with muddy boots and persuade her to allow him to clean them, all the while cleaning the floor to avoid increasing Displeasure in other Mistresses. On Hard / Impossible settings the mission will take place with hands tied behind player’s back.
New Mission (Level 8): Paintball. Mistresses may choose Paintball as a daytime or night-time activity after Level 7. Slaves run / hide in the outdoor paintball arena. Each paintball hit adds 5 pain (except Mistress Marissa who has a modified paintball gun inflicting 15). Three worst scoring slaves receive Punishment (60, 40 and 20, respectively). Note that being caught and immobilised with bondage, chains or cage does NOT prevent Mistresses continuing to shoot the player.

New skins / costumes / items

New player outfit: sissy maid frillies. An absurd pink, frou-frou confection entirely unsuited to serious housework. Confers +10 sexual excitement on the wearer but 20% higher chance of being judged improperly dressed, increasing Mistress Displeasure +30 – 60 (except Governess Tania, for whom it causes +80 Displeasure with certainty). Increases the chance that Mistresses (except Governess Tania) will assign lighter housework tasks.
Players attending the Schoolroom may now be dressed in girls’ school uniform instead of boys’: green knickers, knee socks, blouse, gymslip and tie. Additionally, hockey skirts will be worn for gym class. Confers increased humiliation and / or sexual excitement depending on player’s cross-dressing ability. Punishment will be earned for incorrect dress, including stains or rips inflicted by Bullies.
New chastity item: programmable zapper. Item combining the functions of remote control collar (upgradable) and chastity belt. Obedience +15 at all times when fitted and +20 Ownership bond with Mistress who owns the control. Note that if player is fitted with the remote control collar and programmable zapper, it is possible for him to be under the control of two Mistresses, possibly giving incompatible Commands. This is not a bug.
Clothing items worn next to skin may now contain inward-facing spikes (small, medium or large).
New flavours of dogfood (rabbit, turkey) and catfood (trout).
The following items are now considered food and may be consumed by slaves: pubic hair, toenail clippings, grass, gravel.
There are now several models of wooden stick, to make them harder to find when playing Fetch. Bringing Mistress the wrong stick will result in +20-60 Displeasure.

Bugfixes

Fixed occasional issue with Mistresses setting punishment lines exceeding the length of the text input box.
Fixed bug causing Mistress Elektra’s panties always to have period stains.
Adjusted item positioning and collision detection in Forest area, to prevent occasional issues with sticks being unreachable during Fetch games.
Fixed issue with Mistress Rita continually demanding tea.
Fixed issue with certain kinds of Mistresses’ boots being considered ‘clothing’ for the purposes of laundry tasks. Boots placed in washing machines will now become ruined (+80 Displeasure).
Fixed exploit where players fitted with Kali’s teeth and similar spiked chastity belts could get sexually aroused without suffering Pain increment.
Fixed the ‘infinite enema’ issue in the Nusing Station, in which certain liquids would flow without cease, regardless of the size of the enema bag.
Fixed issue with highly sadistic Mistresses (sadism 60 or higher) not deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting cigarette burns.
Reduced Displeasure multiple for Mistress Marissa to avoid occasional loop in which the player is immobilised with no means of reducing her Displeasure below 100.
Fixed issue of ponyslaves occasionally remaining permanently hitched to a carriage for the remainder of the game.
Fixed exploit where kitchen slaves could add dogfood or catfood to meals prepared for Mistresses without penalty.
Boots now need to be polished with the right colour polish, to complete Task (use of the wrong colour will incur Displeasure).

Players should note that Mistresses in the game are intended to be unreasonable and unfair in their behaviour, so considerable frustration is to be expected in normal play. Several aspects of gameplay that have been reported as bugs are deliberate including: players not given the time to complete tasks to deadline, or being restrained in ways that prevent delivery, Mistresses requiring tasks done to an impossible standard or deadline, players being blamed for inevitable outcomes (such as bathwater cooling down below a Mistress’s required temperature range, or Mistresses judging the quality of boot-cleaning only after walking across a muddy field) and so on.

Graphics

Improved textures for all types of leather, as well as various mud/spittle/semen staining effects during close-up bootlicking.
Improved reflections for latex, particularly after shining (may cause performance degradation in all but high-end systems).
Mistress jewellery (rings, bracelets, pendants and ear-rings) is now created as individual items, not merely modification of costumes.
Corner time now has unique textures for each corner, rather than generic walls.

Tweaks / rebalancing

Boot-licking now produces only 20% reduction in Mistress Displeasure, not 40%.
Player movement reduced by 20% per quart when retaining enemas.
Sexual Frustration can now increase without limit.
Slaves dangling on anal hooks may now be Faceslapped. Note that this removes an occasional problem in mission Show me How Sorry You Are, in which suspension on an anal hook prevented the player from Apologising sufficiently to Mistress Neeta, making it impossible to complete the mission.
Reduced detrimental effects of tight-laced corsets on player (Mistress corsets are purely decorative without equivalent effects).
Receiving strokes from a whip during Pony Racing now adds +30 Speed and raises Stamina limit +20 for 10 seconds.
Ashtray slaves may now be required to dispose of chewing gum or any item consumable by slaves.
Punishment lines now only use ordinary letters and punctuation, no symbols (Mistress Elektra still sets lines in Greek script).
Wearing a corset now diminishes Stamina by 10 – 40 points.
Ballbusting is now an Activity, not always a Punishment.
Displeasure reduction from Grovelling and other Pleading actions halved (Pleading penalty with Sadistic Mistresses is unchanged).
Obedience boost from electric shocks now double the Pain increase, for all shock collars and similar worn electric devices (unchanged for external implements such as cattle prods).
Movement penalty from wearing humbler decreased to -70%. All Tasks not requiring running can now be completed possible while wearing humblers, although not necessarily within the time allowed by task-setting Mistresses.
Pain increments from whipping rebalanced to decrease Pain from riding crops, increase pain from bullwhips, cat o’nine tails and single-tailed whips. Pain per stroke from Mistress Taylor’s monogrammed quirt reduced by 40% but whipping speed + 25%.
Mistresses will now come more frequently during lesbian sex.
Boots, shoes, socks and feet now acquire +5 Stinkiness from each 60 seconds kicking a slave.
All chastity durations increased by 20%.

Call for playtesters! FD Gaming is working on integrating Dungeon Creep 2 with the Safekeeper 9000 remote chastity device. We are looking to recruit beta-testers (in possession of a Safekeeper 9000 or prepared to purchase one) as we iron out the bugs in this exciting new development in DC2 gameplay. Please email us at the usual address to apply. Note that all beta-testers will be required to sign a waiver absolving FD Gaming from liability for any harm resulting from the testing.

The images accompanying this nonsense are of course from ‘Saints’ Row: Enter The Dominatrix’, which I am sure is very lovely but does tend to appear rather too often in my web searches for real world stuff. Personally, I prefer quieter games, like housework simulators and line-writing programmes.